DavidO here, with a strip title swiped straight from a Seinfeld episode!
My ponderings about how little Skyler would look close up weren’t answered in today’s strip and that’s a good thing. Someone needs some SERIOUS practice with baby faces and heads. And arms legs and torsos. Thankfully blankets can be an uncertain artist’s best friend but the strip is starting to remind me of the opening Austin Powers routine, except with Skyler’s face instead of Austin’s willie. I mean, seriously, what is that supposed to be in P2? It looks like they’re fawning over a potato. Tombat better get to some real world life-drawing classes in soon or start stepping up his exposition even more to accommodate for his art.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Sometimes FW gets you all outraged or maybe it sickens you in some visceral way or maybe it’s so irredeemably bad you just have to point and laugh. Then other times it’s like this: unbelievably bland, generic, boring, plodding and etc. You can almost hear the cheesy canned laugh track in the background as Boy Lisa stands there moronically, you know? It’s just drudgery now, three more days of the most stale and tired baby jokes imaginable.
I can’t believe Whatshername is back, though. I mean who seriously ever believed we’d see HER again? Certainly not me. FW: always full of really boring surprises.
Batiuk couldn’t decide what dull, insipid punchline to use for today’s strip, so he used both! ‘Tis the season of giving, after all!
Fred’s abandoned daughter hung around long enough to grab Durwood’s thigh again.
Wow, so he really is going to make “Darin is jealous of the new baby” a thing. It wasn’t a one-off.
So not only aren’t they smart enough to have a child, they’re not mature enough. I suppose when the kid grows up to be a dishwasher at Montoni’s, he’ll have overachieved.
Yesterday, she was psyched to be praising her husband for eating lunch while changing diapers. Today she’s belittling him for wanting attention. What a piece of road kill she is.
“Darren is going to be a great father, he can eat a sandwich while changing Snowpuff’s diaper, and he whines when his family pays attention to his newborn son instead of him.”
You’re wearing a jacket, IT pizza man. Get over yourself!
“Oh my God, I think we accidentally left the baby in the apartment above Montoni’s; this is just a wadded-up blanket!”
Notice how excited Fred is to finally interact with someone he can feel slightly superior over, for the next couple of weeks at least.
Skyler is a boy? Isn’t that a girl’s name, like Leslie?
Skyler is young; he’s still developing his Moment -to-Moment Face Morph skills. He’ll get the hang of it.
Kerry: “Funky Winkerbean is a reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner.”
Ann: “Um, thank you living reminder that my husband had an entire life of passion, shame, and regret before me, and that I was his choice only out of convenience and lies afterward instead of a true second love. Reminder that for decades I didn’t acknowledge you to my own son.”
Jess: “Wow. I thought we’d timed our visit to come on one of Ann’s rare bitchiness-free days.”
Darin: “Hmmph. Forget that! Let’s just bring the evil, stupid, cheating, technology loving baby inside! Gonna cry now, baby? Yeesh, I can’t believe how stupid and evil the baby is, because he’s so young, thus innately evil and worthless!”
Jess: “Wow. Didn’t take long for the Typical Westview Parenting Attitude to kick in. …*…wait, this isn’t Skyler! What the helll?!? I’ve just been carrying around a wad of old rags!?!”
Darin: *superior smirk* “I guess there WERE some children left behind!”
Oh look, Darvon has a mental disorder! What a hoot!
“Jesus Christ! Who are all you weird-ass people? I got out of the womb for this?? What’s that I hear? Wow, I knew my dad was probably going to be an asshole, but I had no idea he would actually consider his own fricking daughter a threat to his slackerdom!. Wow this is going to suck balls for the next 17 years!!. Oh, well. I guess I better start thinking what I should be in Act IV. Work in Montoni’s, teach at Westview , die in Iraqistan, or creep out kids at Komix Korners…”
Note that Darwin’s issue is a son, not a daughter, and, accordingly, the threat to his slackerdom is now far more psychologically disturbing.
I like Jessica’s giant piece of popcorn hat there in panel 1, though Scott Adams might take issue with it…
–son, not a daughter —
oh, right. Should have gotten Tom Batiuk drawing of a blue blanket as a gigantic visual cue. Cause god knows, he can’t draw genders for crap.
Skyler looks exactly like Act One Funky Winkerbean. Just saying, I think Jess was porking the proprietor of Montoni’s between slices.
For over 30+ years we never heard of or saw this Kerry….now we see her twice in a year.
Oh farewell to Mrs John Darling.
And when do they sacrifice the new-born in Westview?
All the other children have lured away to Bald Mountain.