Now the First of December Was Covered with Snow

Many, many thanks to David O for handling author duties over the last fortnight!

Epicus Doomus
November 28, 2013 at 11:11 pm
…I like how Summer just decided to keep wearing the hoodie straight through the year until it was weather-appropriate again. I assume she has an entire closet full of them and not just one…at least I hope she does.

Reckon she’s not only got a closet full of KSU hoodies, but she’s got ’em in blue and gold! Weather-appropriate? Guess so, since it’s all Summer needs to protect her against snowflakes the size of Montoni’s meatballs.

You’d think, though, that a young woman who could shell out $54 for a sweatshirt would spend a little more on a baby gift for her nephew. Instead, Auntie Summer comes bearing “Small Bear”, a cherished toy from her own kid-hood. “Here, “bro”: give this moldy, raggedy old thing to your newborn to play with!”

And Mr. Batiuk, please do a little research into what an infant carrier looks like: that little cameo in panel one looks like nothing so much as a baby reposing in a propped-up coffin!


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

14 responses to “Now the First of December Was Covered with Snow

  1. DidISayThatOutLoud?

    “…. looks like nothing so much as a baby reposing in a propped-up coffin.”

    In the world of Funky Winkerbean, a baby in a coffin is not really all that unthinkable.

  2. merrypookster

    …right, it’s about as unthinkable as Auburn beating Alabama, eh Dan?

  3. As a stand-alone episode, this is actually kind of sweet. Mr. Diva had an old Snoopy toy that the kids inherited; it gets quite a bit of love.

    I’d still like to know how Skyler is staying propped up in that breadbasket, though.

  4. fudgeripple82

    I never thought I’d say this but, boy- I sure do miss The Lord of The Late!


    Ah, just what a newborn wants. A small, purple tailless squirrel with a facial expression of indifference. Oh, joy.

    I like to think this squirrel is actually a replica of a popular character on Westview’s local Public Broadcasting Station. Kind of like a depressing version of Barney.

    Saul the Squirrel. Played by some codeine addicted bit local theatre guy whose dreams were destroyed long ago. He wears a costume that is made of moldy rags and smells vaguely of mold, mothballs, vomit and gin.

    Saul the Squirrel teaches local Westview kids the important lessons in life – like checking their body for cancerous growths, giving up on dreams early, and learning how to make annoying puns at inappropriate times.

    Hey, you know what. I just created a spin-off character for you Tom Batiuk. And I thought of it in the same time it took you to create three months worth of plots.

  6. Epicus Doomus

    “Bro”, “sis”…TB really wants to make that whole “Summer and Darin become close upon learning that they’re half-siblings” thing happen so very, very much but alas, no one bought it then and no one’s buying it now.

    Coming next week: Mount Failure continues to erupt, coating the Montoni’s District in grey ash as the locals make wry, sarcastic remarks and weary resigned observations about their imminent deaths. Meanwhile, Darin tries to sell Small Bear on Ebay with humorous results.

  7. Hoodies actually don’t do much for warmth in the cold, lake-effect icy wet Winters that Medina (Westview) gets. One good soaking of mid-day rain before temperatures drop for the evening and it’s like you’re walking around encased in a frozen sponge.

  8. Jeffcoat Wayne

    “Oh, and here’s a couple copies of “Lisa’s Story” and “Lisa’s Diary”, which you can read to the kid before bed so he’ll always fall asleep with visions of a woman he’s never seen from a place he’s never been.”

  9. O.B. Dan

    Yeah, I really missed the call on Auburn-Alabama…lucky for me, “the call” and the spread aren’t always the same thing – so with Alabama giving 10 1/2 I jumped on Aurburn…took the over/under, too…

    Baby in a coffin? Nope, no sign of things to come here…

  10. J C

    They didn’t have time to buy a real baby car-seat, so today he’s resting in their plastic picnic basket. Tomorrow it’ll probably be the Coleman cooler. Maybe the windowed mini fridge, who knows?

  11. Howard and Nester

    @Epicus Doomus
    “Bro”, “sis”…TB really wants to make that whole “Summer and Darin become close upon learning that they’re half-siblings” thing happen so very, very much but alas, no one bought it then and no one’s buying it now.

    Apropos of nothing, does Batiuk have a soft spot for siblings? Siblings are one of the few family relationships presented consistently positive in this strip, with only a couple of exceptions like that one black-haired woman from the Weekend at Fred’s arc. Compare that to, say, how FW depicts non-Moore parent/child or uncle & aunt/niece & nephew or grandparent/grandkid or ESPECIALLY spousal relationships.

  12. John

    Summer: “Welp, I’m back off to school, Pop. Pop? Pop? HEY, POP!!! EARTH TO LES!”

    Les: “….”

    Summer: “So, what place in your brain do you find preferrable to the company of your own living family today? High School? College Dreamboat? The Evil Professor who dared to say you wrote a mediocre paper? Bull was actually your best buddy? *sigh* Don’t tell me, I don’t even know why I have to ask, it’s obviously-”

    Les and Summer (in unison): “…Lisa, my wife who died of cancer.”

    Les (notices Summer for the first time): “Oh, hey. Are you hear to watch the VHS tape I found that Lisa made for Thanksgiving without her? For the one she wanted us to watch when her first grandchild was born, maybe? Cayla recently found a bunch of her journals, you know. From age seven all the way up to when she died…OF CANCER.”

    Summer: “…actually, Pop, I just came back to pick my winter hoodies up out of the laundry room. Oh, and I gave some old crud left in my room to Skyler. That moth-infested Teddy bear, some old rags…stuff babies like, I guess.”

    Les: “….”

    Summer: “Good grief, what’s THAT look for?!?”

    Les: “…I just couldn’t help wondering…what if Lisa had kept Darin? What if she hadn’t died…OF CANCER? What if….”

    (fifteen minutes pass)

    Summer: “….you done? Great. Toodles, I’m o-”

    Les: “How proud she’d be of you.”

    Summer: “….um…are you referring to Mom? Proud? Why, because I gave a baby some old trash as a gift? Yeesh, Dad, you are the KING of exaggerration! What next, are you going to tell Cayla that giving you Mom’s journals was BRAVE or something? Gonna rant and whine about how HAAAAAARD it is to adapt a FINISHED NON FICTION ACCOUNT to a 75 minute made for TV movie? Gawd, this reminds me why I almost never bother to come home! Keisha, get your bags, we’re going!”


    (forty minutes pass)

    Les: “….who’s Keisha? Summer? Hey, where’d she go?!? Hmmph. I guess there WERE some children left behind!”

  13. That infant carrier looks a lot like a pic-kin-nic Yogi Bear would swipe. And Shouldn’t she be playing basketball? Kent State was playing today. They’re 2-5 now.

  14. Epicus Doomus

    Howard and Nester: He has a soft spot for this pair of half-siblings, for sure, but that’s just the Lisa connection which makes it “extra-special” for TomBat. Other than giving her the flu before the Big Game and the stupid Frankie/secret journal thing I don’t recall Darin and Summer interacting all that much, so the whole thing has always seemed extremely forced to me.

    At one time it appeared that Summer would be Act III’s bright shining star, but ever since she graduated from WHS she’s been mostly marginalized, only appearing in a supporting role here or there, usually to say or do something unbearably mawkish. I’m not complaining, mind you, as I hate her nearly as much as I detest Les, but it’s interesting how he seems to have lost the thread with that character. He hasn’t even done a “Summer comes home from college with huge bag of laundry” or “gee college sure is expensive” sort of arc yet and that surprises me, as it seems like a really easy and obvious thing to do.