It’s interesting (and instructive) to note that in today’s episode, there are several breaks with Winkerbeanean orthodoxy, which in this instance challenge the commonly-held notion that the Funkyverse is a closed system. Specifically, one notes Wedgeman’s impromptu coinage of Neeks juxtaposed with Owen’s expression noting a possible increased range (in a strictly functional sense, of course) of Wedgeman’s role beyond the brutish habitue of Westview’s cafeteria. One could, perhaps, extend this newfound role into the football field as well (“rivals” and “enemies” becoming “renemivals”, eg–a formation typically Batiukian), except that Tom Batiuk has prematurely curtailed such an exploration by having Wedgeman banned from sport (see: SoSF, 10/21-27). In any case, the possibilities (however slight) of expansion are indeed hinted here.
However, it should be noted en passant that Wedgeman’s mere production of a portmanteau cannot be ex facto evidence of heretofore unsuspected intellectual capacity, as the portmanteau phenomenon is more a function of language qua language and as such can be seen as removing “language” from the underlying “meaning” it is intended to convey, appropriating words as merely a series of connected ur-sounds to be arranged without regard to communicative function. Thus, Wedgeman’s new role would seem to be more of the nature of a random element, one designed to decrease the comfort-levels of the characters as they interact within their limited confines, and thus, increase narrative in oblique directions; but then one must recall that “randomness” as a plot element (as opposed to a decorative one) is strictly forbidden within the Funkyverse due to the nature of the construct. I feel certain you are as disappointed as I at the realization of this aspect, and I regret having to voice this argument, as it furthers the angst elements of the entire “Funky critique” positioning, while duly embracing the futility argument advanced by T.Batiuk (see notes)*.
As an aside, one has to note with approval the sheer exuberant gusto with which Wedgeman expresses the (self) enjoyment of his coinage, offering as it does an unexpected, unbridled joyousness at his achievement. Such expressions are exceedingly rare in the Funkyverse, and one must applaud their occasional appearance, even if they grace the nominally villainous.
On the other hand, “neeks” is totally dumbheaded and dope-like, and hardly worthy of such celebration. It is the very definition of dumbheaded. Dumbheaded like a bag of towels.
*Due to a misplaced comma, the notes were not included by the typesetter, who offers this note in recompense: “You suck. I hate you. PS I quit.”
Son of Stuck Funky 
The College of Batiukian Knowledge!
“Neeks”? Oh boy. I mean I could see it if, for example, FW was being guest written this week by a class of developmentally challenged pre-schoolers or something, but when a sixty-plus year old man cranks out wordplay that excruciatingly awful one must wonder if some sort of brain injury or drug is somehow involved. Yeesh.
And thanks for the trenchant insight, BC, particularly regarding Wedgeman, FW’s most fascinating character. Is he merely a doltish bully, or is he actually yet another “avatar” for TheAuthor, a way to mock lesser-known and ill-advised characters like Owen and Cody who never should have been created in the first place? The mind reels…but only if you stare at the strip for a second too long. I try to avoid that if at all possible.
This from a man who spent the past three days commenting on the quality of cafeteria food.
Looking it over a new theory has occurred to me. When was the last time we actually saw an original or unusual plot involving those teenage characters? Anyone able to remember the last time?
My theory is this: Batiuk needs to find some way to justify that glowing blurb praising him and to be able to reject criticism of his cast by saying he does have teenage characters. But Batiuk doesn’t want to write about teenage characters anymore. So Batiuk grabs old cliches about teens at school, and just throws those in at random intervals.
My evidence? The last unique plot I can think of involving someone under the age of 30 was Cory, and that was mostly Cory as a side character to his comic books.
THREE YEARS AGO:
Tom Batiuk: “Man, are these teenagers at this school ever stupid and evil! And evilly stupid! I wish I’d never told that yarn about hanging out at high schools to research the damn strip! *sigh* Why can’t they just give me another award? I’ve earned it! Rassin’ frassin’ lousy nerds and geeks. Nerds…geeks…”
(Fifteen hours pass)
Tom Batiuk: *bolts awake* “NEEKS! NEEKS! NEEKS, IT’S BRILLIANT!”
(The Professional Syndicated Cartoonist writes down the gag on a scrap of paper, tosses it into a massive fishbowl labeled ‘High School Hijinx & Laffs’, complete with a miniature smirking image of Funky as he looked in the 70s.)
A Funky Winkerbean strip that sarcastically complements a character on his “original thought”… This is what we in the snarking business call a “fat pitch”.
As bad as pun jokes are, don’t you guys think GERDS would be funnier? Especially since it’s an acronym for a digestive order. Appropriate for previous strips that dealt with terrible cafeteria food. You see how easy this was with such little effort and a little wit? This too me is the most damning thing about Batiuk’s comedic skills. He truly gives no goddamn effort in trying to make even a decent joke.
I was listening to an episode of OUR MISS BROOKS today, a radio sitcom featuring a sarcastic English teacher and her zany, eccentric students. (Sound vaguely familiar?) The episode in question was about students organizing a boycott of poor quality food in the school cafeteria.
This episode is 65 years old. Over half a century! But the jokes are fresher, the characters more vivid and endearing, and the plot (simple and predictable as it is) more inventive and engaging than -ANYTHING- seen in this week’s *snort* arc.
Tom (as Epicus has noted many times) never bothers to develop a “humorous” premise into an actual joke, much less an actual story.
As beckoning as noted, Tom’s palpable contempt for all of the young characters and 99.9% of the teachers at Westview mean that any arc featuring them is certain to do nothing but transmit his hatred to the reader.
In summary: Listen to more classic radio comedy. Mock and deride Funky Winkerbean.
Bill Watterson did a better bullying character with Moe and CALVIN AND HOBBES. The sad thing about this is that the only recent to read FW is to riducule the nonsensical plots and the cruddy artwork. It takes up valuable space in the newspaper that can better be put to use by say, LIO, HEAVENLY NOSTRILS, or PEARLS BEFORE SWINE. FW is “The Room” of comic strips.
Brilliant!
After the “Khahn” spelling fiasco, I’m disappointed that Wedge’s name hasn’t morphed into “Whedgmann.” “Owhen, Choady & Whedgmann” would be a great law firm for Westview. The best we can actually hope for is “Dewey, Cheatham & Howe” because that’s a joke from the 1930s.
I can hardly wait for Owen to yell “23 skidoo!” because that’s what contemporary teens say about their sensitive issues, exactly none of Batominc’s high-school junkets have revealed.
@John–actually that sounds great; where did you get the OUR MISS BROOKS files (?) from?
I own it on CD, ordered it from Radio Spirits.
I looked up Our Miss Brooks on the Radio Spirits website, and I saw that they had three volumes available. Do you remember which collection includes the school-lunch episode?
Volume 2.