Dream On, Funk-Man

Link To Today’s Strip

Special thanks to the SoSF Staff for the last six weeks of exceptional and hilarious snarking! And as always extra-special thanks to TFH, forever our Grand Exalted Leader!

We often give TB a hard time about the way he skips around all over the place and leaves unresolved story arcs just hanging there for years at a time, but let’s give credit where it’s due today. I was on pins and needles wondering how Lard-Butt was doing at the gym so seeing his fat sweaty shapeless form again is a real relief. Building suspense is all well and good, but when you have “reality-based storytelling” that’s as gripping as this arc is, you don’t want to wait too long between re-visits. Cindy and Cory and Holly and Les and Becky’s mom are just going to have to wait, there’s a Pulitzer (nomination) just waiting to be had here, dammit.

While it’s nice that Funky is setting goals for himself, he might want to set his sights a tad bit lower if you ask me. Perhaps looking AS good as people twice his age would be a better starting point and far more realistic too. “Look better than other people my age”…seriously, Tom? The only FW character in worse shape than Funky is Fred and at least he has an excuse. And Fred at least tries to tell jokes, too. That’s probably the most ludicrous bit of FW dialog in many years, if not ever. If he wrote that masterpiece with a straight face he’s a more stoic man than I, that’s for sure.

In any event, get ready for sweat beads, wry self-deprecating remarks, a possible coronary episode and fat jokes….a lot of fat jokes. And if you’re busy this week and just don’t have the six seconds a day to put into reading the thing, just re-read my last sentence and you’ll be covered, as the likelihood of anything interesting happening this week is almost assuredly zero.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

15 responses to “Dream On, Funk-Man

  1. Howard and Nester

    While we’re on the subject of sarcastic blogpost tags, why not create ‘self-indulgent self-depreciation’ or ‘whining disguised as humility’ or something?

    And before you say that such a tag would hardly exclude any FW comics, I see we already have one marked ‘implausibility’. So there.

  2. Rusty

    Why shove Funky back in the gym, after the January arc? Will the fabulous Cindy Summers be working out there soon?

  3. I hate to be a beady-eyed nitpicker, but the term is “self-deprecation”, not “self-depreciation”, unless maybe if you’re an accountant.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    bobanero: I fully support beady-eyed nitpicking. Without it, SoSF is nothing. Duly noted…and corrected! Thank you for your continued nitpicky support!

  5. Sgt. Saunders

    With that elongate, ovoid cranium, Funky looks like a grown-up Family Circus melon-head done been hit in the face with a cartoon frying pan. No treadmill in the world can fix that.

  6. Saturnino

    “I hate to be a beady-eyed nitpicker, but the term is “self-deprecation”, not “self-depreciation”, unless maybe if you’re an accountant.”

    In this strip, Funky is a contra asset.

  7. In the Funkyverse, all you can hope for is to look good in your coffin.

  8. Smirks 'R Us

    The collision course between the slim downed Funk-Man and newly relocated Cindy is so transparent, even by BatHack’s very low standards.


    “I find I’m much more motivated by shallow reasons”

    The perfect inside page quote for Tom Batiuk’s unauthorized biography.

  10. billytheskink

    I think it qualifies as self-depreciation if Funky is worthless and he knows it.

    For some extra motivation, perhaps Funky should get a visit from this week’s Crankshaft guest star

  11. Crankshaft: Oh, you must be looking for Westview. That’s the next town over.



    So where does Masky McDeath fit into all this. Is he TAoD’s lackey, friend, boss?

    Death is indeed cruel if he allows Crankshaft to live.

  13. A HREF

    Well the guy who says HAHAHA! Has been blocked over at Comics Kingdom.

  14. Eh, it’s not funny (it rarely is) but at least Funky is actively trying to improve his lot (which in itself makes him a rarity in Westview). And I’m sure a lot of people who decide on an exercise routine do so for similar reasons. Can’t really criticize this one too much.

  15. I call bullshit. How many Sunday strips have been devoted to a scene of Less and Funky jogging in the park? They’ve been doing this for years, yet somehow Funky still looks like hell, and can’t even muster up the energy to finish a 5K fun run without collapsing (at which point the EMTs apparently just hit him with the paddles and said “You’re good to go”). Yet now that he’s trundling along on a treadmill in front of a disinterested personal trainer, we’re led to believe that he’s going to magically improve his fitness state. All Funky needs to do is lay off the leftover pizza at the end of the night, and he should be okay.