The Treadmill To Nowhere

Link To Today’s Strip

Obesity, rapid aging, coronary issues, weird skinny legs and crippling malasie…these are “nagging little injuries”, Funky Winkerbean style. That sounds about right. And sorry Fitness Girl, but your “meal ticket” is in fact that pizza place down the road that’s stuffing the local kids full of stale leftover glop before they even get to school in the morning. That’s what the local mortician calls Montoni’s too, by the way.

The joke doesn’t even make sense. Fitness Girl isn’t a doctor or a physical therapist, so how would a rash of tennis-related injuries possibly benefit her? And what the hell is Funky babbling about? Tennis? Oh, that one time many years ago when he stood around a tennis court with Les and complained about something? Come on, be serious.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

11 responses to “The Treadmill To Nowhere

  1. I’m always amazed when the staff at various businesses in Westview are downright insulting to their clients. And I should stop being amazed, really, because it’s been that way since I started reading this thing.

  2. Oh yeah, Funky is totally into tennis! Plays it all the time! Boy, if I had a quarter for every time he did something tennis related, I could get maybe two whole gumballs from the machine at the grocery store!

  3. So, I’m not an exercise fiend, by any stretch. I only just started weight training (I’ve had a whole 4 classes!). But is it standard practice to have a personal trainer stand next to you while you run the treadmill? And, like, watch you run? And sometimes berate you? Does that help? Am I doing it wrong?

  4. Yes, halfway into the fifth session while you’re running on the treadmill is the appropriate time to discuss your injuries.

  5. billytheskink

    The Batiukverse is like the anti-Gasoline Alley. In GA, nothing will kill you, and the strip will totally lampshade that fact. The list of things that will kill or maim you in TB’s world includes, but is not limited to:
    Cancer, shoveling snow, drunk driving, distracted driving, expressing happiness, medical professionals, Khahn, and now… tennis.


    So in addition to jogging with Les Moore, Funky’s been playing tennis with him as well. And he’s still this fat!!!!?????

    I’m assuming Les Moore is his his tennis partner, since Holly looks like she can barely move move much less play an athletic sport.

    Here’s a puzzler…who’s a more annoying tennis opponent? Les Moore or Bobby Riggs?

  7. Wait. We’re supposed to believe that Westview has a gym?

  8. Professor Fate

    for the life of me I can’t remember ever seeing Funky play tennis. Anybody? Or is this just another Batiuk Ass pull?

  9. Professor – there was a “comic book tribute” Sunday with Funky as DC’s Deadman, while in the corner, Funky told Crazy that they tennis they were standing around thinking about playing was “dead man’s singles,”

    None of it made any sense, but I guess it was time to use that ol’ tribute cover.

  10. Of all the interesting story engines in Funky, TB would have to pull out the least interesting.

    And I get the feeling TB is writing B.C., too.

  11. Epicus Doomus

    BC: That must be the one I remember, although I seem to recall a long-ago arc involving tennis, at least five, six years ago or maybe more. Still, playing tennis once doesn’t make Funky a “tennis player” any more than putting a bunch of comic strips together in a big book makes one an “author”.