His Story

Full Retcon ahead! I’m sure Holly is sorry she ever asked about Donna’s video game triumphs back in the day. Oh wait, she didn’t ask. Still, we’re treated to a hot mess of retconning in today’s strip!

One does have to wonder where these photos have been hiding at Montoni’s this whole time, considering Batuik’s fondness for painstakingly drawing each and every tiny brick in a wall.

16 Comments

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16 responses to “His Story

  1. Epicus Doomus

    So which one IS it, Batom, stolen or “made”? Randomly screwing up the continuity on a yearly or even a weekly basis is one thing, but when you start ignoring it on a daily basis it might be time to open the windows to combat the effects of all those felt-tip fumes. So to summarize, Donna made a stolen helmet to disguise herself because she wanted to show up the boys, but not directly and not right there and then. Like how that scenery at the gay prom was possibly going to consider “coming out” at some point in time, but definitely not then and there with all those people around. Now there’s some continuity!

    How awesome is that Wall Of Fame, though? I like how the picture no one noticed for over thirty years was the one directly in the center, right at eye level behind the counter. Is the blonde motorcycle chick supposed to be Donna too? Because having TWO pics on the Montoni’s WOF is quite the honor if you ask me (and if it is Donna, yeesh, WTF happened?). What a thrill, being enshrined with such luminaries as Old Crooked Picture Guy, those circus escapees who swiped that trophy that time, Crocodile Dundee and Dour 70’s Mustache Dude.

  2. DOlz

    Say what you will about today’s strip, but at least he isn’t getting biology so wrong that a even creationist goes WTF.

  3. Okay, I’m a pretty big comic-book fan, and even I had trouble figuring out what Batiuk was talking about with these past few strips. With a little help from Google, I think I’ve finally figured it out. He’s talking about a feature called “Hunter” that appeared in several issues of the ’70s horror magazine “Eerie.” Here’s a link to an issue featuring Hunter on the cover:

    http://www.comics.org/issue/214095/cover/4/

    And yes, it does look remarkably like the “Eliminator” helmet. So, when Donna said she “stole” the helmet, she meant that she copied the idea, not that she physically took somebody else’s headgear.

    Wow, this is obscure even by Batiuk’s standards. I’m tempted to think that this is a confession or a cry for help…as if, back in the ’70s, Batiuk looked at one of those “Eerie” issues, thought “Hey, cool helmet!”, and drew it into his strip. Maybe, over the years, the guilt over copying the helmet design gnawed at Batiuk’s conscience until, years after both the Hunter and the Eliminator were long forgotten, he felt compelled to explain his long-past actions.

    Or maybe he approached Paul Neary (the original “Hunter” artist) to do a “Starbuck Jones” cover, and Neary said “Wait, didn’t you copy my character’s look way back when?” Batiuk then rushed to cover his ass by cranking out these strips justifying the imitation: “No, I wasn’t copying, it was a TRIBUTE! Look, can I just give you ‘a tip of the Funky Felt-Tip’ and we’ll call it square?”

  4. Saturnino

    As usual Holly has aged horribly between panel one and panel two.

  5. Saturnino

    “Maybe, over the years, the guilt over copying the helmet design gnawed at Batiuk’s conscience until, years after both the Hunter and the Eliminator were long forgotten, he felt compelled to explain his long-past actions.”

    Looking at the changes between the panels, I’d say his conscience should be bothering him over Shylock Fox, too……..

  6. “Funky Winkerbean is a reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner.” Which explains why we are spending this week retconning the backstory of a frumpy 50-something character.

  7. billytheskink

    “Is the blonde motorcycle chick supposed to be Donna too? Because having TWO pics on the Montoni’s WOF is quite the honor if you ask me (and if it is Donna, yeesh, WTF happened?).”

    Yes. As I recall, there was a multi-week story back in Act II (late 90s/early 00s) where the Eliminator came back to Montoni’s on “his” motorcycle to beat the old gang at video games and then stage a big reveal that “he” was actually Donna. I don’t recall the story ever covering Donna dragging her motorcycle into Glamour Shots, but you know how TB is with “tell, don’t show”.

    As to what happened… the fact that she married Crazy and stayed in Westview ought to explain that.

  8. bayoustu

    Given that the overriding theme of FW seems to be the inevitability of decay and death (What knee-slappers, huh?), it occurs to me that FW is what artist Ivan Albright would have produced had he done a comic strip.

  9. Oh, shut up, Donna. You’re not Mulan or Deborah Sampson or Yentl; you’re a nobody of a character born out of a gimmick that had whiskers on it when Samus Aran did it, who got paired up to a regular cast member for convenience and was forgotten about until the author decided to sermonize on this particular topic.

  10. $$$WESTVIEWONCOLOGIST$$$

    Is this some late as hell homage to Women’s History Month?? Way to go there Batiuk. Gender Equality in the world of video gaming was really one massive barrier that needed to be broken (epic eye roll). Well at least we should be happy that Batty didn’t do anything last month for black history.

  11. Epicus Doomus

    Thanks billytheskink, that information makes this arc even stupider. So she wanted to show up the boys by pretending to be a boy and she didn’t reveal her actual identity until twenty years later, when absolutely no one cared anymore? How very trail-blazing of her, eh?

  12. I think it was ¼-inch-from-reality folk group Simpson & Garfinkel who sang:

    And the pics of the retcons
    Are posted on Montoni’s walls
    The band box calls
    And echoes
    Way up to… Komix Korner

    And kudos to Erich for doing the research on Hunter!

  13. Charles

    So she wanted to show up the boys by pretending to be a boy and she didn’t reveal her actual identity until twenty years later, when absolutely no one cared anymore? How very trail-blazing of her, eh?

    And yet it’s a perfect illustration of a Batiuk woman. Don’t show the guys up. Dull your star. Be less than you can be, because there are men present and what they want is more important than anything you want.

    The way it reads, it’d be much more believable, and could certainly be turned into a story using the topics Batiuk’s using here, if Donna instead came up with this phony persona because she wanted to play video games but she knew the boys would bully her if she did it as a woman.

    I also thought the whole Eliminator thing originally was to show how all hardcore gamers are weirdos who do things like wear ridiculous helmets all the damn time. So many times Batiuk celebrates things that he seems to loathe himself for enjoying.

  14. Professor Fate

    so not only the only place to eat was this depressing pizzia place, it was the only place in town that had video games as well? argggg.
    Re Stole/copied. If a kid makes their own Iron Man mask they are not stealing it,. They aren’t even stealing the idea. They are making an iron man mask. Now of course if Batiuk lifted the design from another strip, Well that’s stealing.

  15. I’m more interested in that Hunter guy that Erich found. I mean, is he a spaceman, or a caveman who found a space helmet, or what? Or maybe he found his outfit at various Goodwill stores on a bunch of different planets. And maybe he is actually a woman too!

  16. Rusty

    @Charles: “I also thought the whole Eliminator thing originally was to show how all hardcore gamers are weirdos who do things like wear ridiculous helmets all the damn time. So many times Batiuk celebrates things that he seems to loathe himself for enjoying.” I recall hating the idea at the time that a young kid would be playing arcade games for hours while wearing some kind of space helmet. It seemed extremely nonsensical. Kind of like having Comix Corner John set up a playstation in the corner for the local wayward youths to congregate.