Tweaker Man

Hoo-boy, SoSfDavidO here and I’m quaking with excitement! Big Cable saw the screenplay and thought it was killer! From the looks of today’s strip, there might be a change or two needed. Of course, this immediately veers into unbelievable land.

Lisa’s Story (the book) was a huge hit, right? Remember the book tours? The interviews? The fans lining up just to shake hands with the Amazing Les Moore? Why is the fact it was a huge hit a big deal? Think of it this way…

Hollywood: “Hey, Dan Brown, we just bought the rights to make “The DaVinci Code” into a movie! I mean, the book has been on the bestseller list for 3 years and everyone loves it…we just want to make one change..”

Dan Brown: “What’s that?”

“Hollywood: “The title is kinda bland. Needs some punch. How about “Murders and Medieval Art?”

Dan Brown: “Well, I’m sure that won’t confuse book fans. Let’s do it!”



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

12 responses to “Tweaker Man

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Unreal. Once again, Les will have to defend Lisa’s honor by fending off some show-biz jagoff who wants to make demeaning, salacious and insulting changes to his epic masterwork. Batom loves this particular premise as he gets to show off Les’ full range of emotions: neurotic, snotty, smug AND indignant! Just look at those poses he’s striking today…what a dick.

    Seriously though, this “Hollywood gets its greasy paws all over Lisa’s Story” premise was already tiresome years ago and it’s almost difficult to believe he’s milking it again. But then again, when it comes to Les’ magical cancer book anything is definitely possible, as TB has absolutely no shame at all when it comes to reminding everyone about HIS epic masterwork…the time he killed Lisa off. It wouldn’t surprise me at all to learn that he has special “Lisa’s Story” bedsheets and pillowcases with the entire arc printed on them.

    The title, eh? Can’t wait to see how “Hollywood” f*cks THAT all up. This TomBat guy sure does have a bitter and jaded view of the entertainment business, that’s for sure, particularly for a guy who’s contributed so little to it.

  2. Guest Page Turner Author

    Tweak? Tweak? You want to tweak my self-righteous homage? My cat might have something to say about that!

    What, Cayla? We don’t have a cat?

  3. I feel that this probably reflects some real-life incident. Tom Batiuk was probably approached by a cable network about making “Lisa’s Story” into a TV movie. But they suggested a title that was a little less bland and generic…something a little catchier, like “Those You Leave Behind” (which, hey, would focus on Les! All right!).

    Well. I imagine the dudgeon was quite high in some quarters. How dare they want to alter one tiny iota of a masterpiece!

  4. Charles

    Here’s the thing. We’ve been told Les demanded that he write the first draft of the script, which he has done. Once that was done, they could have told Les to go screw and changed everything. Their obligation to him was over. That’s what happens when they buy the movie rights.

    So this doofus, who’s totally straight out of Les’ ridiculous imagined fears from three years ago, is indulging him and runs his ideas by him before making any changes. Who’s supposed to be in charge of this project? I’ll give Batiuk a hint here: It ain’t Les.

    Plus, how fortunate that Les got contacted from “Hollywood” right after he was worried that Hollywood hadn’t contacted him about his script. Guess the three day lead-in this week was, as usual, totally worthless.

  5. Oh, yes. Here we go. Batomic is about to wail and gnash his teeth because he refuses point blank to understand The Industry. We see an affable bonehead of an executive trying to come up with a title that will stand out and draw a crowd. The Noble Scribe sees a huckster trying to sully Dead Lisa’s memory in the name of profit because EVIL OUTSIDERS WANT TO DESTROY SMALL TOWNERS BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THEY DO!!!!!

  6. bad wolf

    Can we get a replay of that strip from 3-4 years ago with Les imagining proto-Lennie saying they just wanted to change the name “Lisa”? It always helps to see how closely he’s copying from himself.

    TFH sez: Sure! May 15, 2011:

  7. Poor, poor Specialest Snowflake Les. If Hollywood doesn’t call, they must hate him, and if it does call it’s to sully his precious manuscript by suggesting a title that doesn’t make it sound like the middle-aged Love Story ripoff it obviously is. He’s SO ill-used, I tell you!


    Who knew the mind behinds “Sharknado” and ‘Fifteen and Pregnant” had such demanding standards when it came to movie titles?

  9. billytheskink

    I’m surprised Les even took a call from someone not named “Holly Wood”. I like to imagine that the “Clay Wallace” Les is talking to is this guy.

  10. Professor Fate

    “we want to Call it John Carter of Mars. And we’re going to relocate the scene of action – Ohio is just too depressing a place to live.
    “Mars. Come on man get with the program. Gad they were right. You are thick. “

  11. Epicus Doomus

    “Proto-Lennie”…LOL! I remember that too, if I recall correctly it was all in Les’ annoying mind as he never actually decided to do the film until last year when he suddenly had the check already. Then TB dropped it and started doing a “will Les ever get over her?” arc featuring the Cayla/Susan love triangle which resulted in Susan being smugly banished from the strip after her sexual assault on Les went “viral”. Good f*cking times, man.

  12. bobanero

    Lisa’s Story – The Musical!! Just wait till you hear the song we composed for the big hospice dance number.