Tag Archives: Clay Wallace

Haik-UNIVAC

Still talking about
Holtron ownership transfer
here in today’s strip?!

Wealthy Boomers are
Out there laying down stacks for
Sperry-Rand mainframes?

Why didn’t props group
Make a more mobile Holtron
For the first movie?

No really, why not?
Or why did they need Holtron
In the first place, huh?

Sentient Holtron
Has always been property
This is just so wrong

A better comic
Would be Short Circuit rip-off
With Holtron and Frank

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Holtron, I’m Comin’

Clever move by Mr. Director and smarmy Clay Wallace in today’s strip, getting Pete and Durwood to haul away their trash for FREE. Heck, P&D are pretty much thanking them for the privilege. Morons.

Wait, wait, wait.. wasn’t it strongly implied that Holtron is sentient? Yeah, Conan O’Brien tackled it for responding to a heckler (it mistook for a time machine?) back during last year’s Starbuck Jones Comic-Con panel. And now Holtron, a true breakthrough in artificial intelligence, is the property of these two shmucks, wrapped up in one of those stupid giant bows from the Lexus commercials… You’re sick, Tom Batiuk. Sick.

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If You Cedarville, Say Hello

If I were Hollywood producer Clay Wallace, I’d be leaning back with my feet on the desk too! When your director, leading man, screenwriter, storyboard artist, and their assorted hangers-on make brilliant decisions regarding casting, location shooting, publicity, and every other aspect of putting out a major motion picture, what’s left to do except kick back and enjoy things like palm trees outside and inside your office.

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The Line Starts Behind You, Beardo

Link To Today’s Strip

Well, I’m no PROFESSIONAL WRITER or anything, but according to the definition of “kill fee” that I read, it’s more like a guarantee in case a writer’s work ends up not being used through no fault of their own. However, in the Batiukverse it appears to be a fee Les collects when he just doesn’t feel like working anymore, which is completely moronic on every level. So Les lives it up for a few months in a first-class, fully-paid for hotel suite, does no “writing” at all, then collects a “kill fee” when he decides to up and quit without any notice whatsoever? OK Tom, whatever you say. TB’s vision of “reality” gets weirder and weirder every day.

And then, just to remind everyone why Les is the most despised character in the entire history of fiction, he makes a little “joke” implying that’s he’s just exasperated to death by “Hollywood” and the “LFL” production. Always with the cynical obnoxious wisecracks, the Dick With Ears never fails to live up to his reputation. The jerk gets a golden opportunity just dropped right into his lap and all he can do with it is simper, whine and complain about it, non-stop. Utterly ridiculous and stunningly stupid, even by FW’s pitifully low standards.

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I Was Sorta Hoping You’d Tell Us, Clay

Link To Today’s Strip

Good question, Clay. It appears to be a bunch of little black dots on the floor, although I suppose it MIGHT be a “clue” involving a very important and totally unexpected plot twist that somehow would make this week become at least somewhat coherent…oh, he means the trenchcoat, doesn’t he? Sigh. Forget everything I just said.

Wow, that’s some hatchet face on Clay in panel one. All in all the artwork this week hasn’t been all that awful, I’ll give him that much. It doesn’t come close to making up for the content, though, which has been absolutely stuporous. I lost the “plot thread” a few days back, now it’s like being in the dentist’s chair, gripping the armrests and hoping that whatever he’s doing ends as mercifully and painlessly as possible. Hey, maybe some nitrous oxide would help this make more sense…..damn it, nope. Still baffled.

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I’m Just Mad about Saffron

I would’ve bet anything that my Google skills would uncover a real-world “Saffron Indian Restaurant” in Hollywood (or even better, somewhere in Ohio’s Western Reserve) that served as a model for the restaurant in today’s strip, but I came up empty handed. Meanwhile, Les has yet another of his Hollywood illusions shattered when he discovers that the “script doctor” in whose hands his masterpiece wound up moonlights as a waiter.

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Testing Credibility

★ ★ ★ ★ ★  Happy Independence Day from SoSF! ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

 

Charles
July 2, 2014 at 11:06 pm
…You don’t run a script or treatment past a test audience. That would be absurd…Never mind that no one making a crappy little movie to fill the Tuesday night slot on a basic cable channel would bother running it past test audiences.

This Hollywood arc has veered so far from reality to the point where even Les begins to suspect that it’s all bullshit. And he’s right: the “testing” seems to have been conducted by a succession of random people, each person having even less connection to the industry than the last. And hotshot “script doctor” Ken Casey is totally on board with that.

beckoningchasm
July 2, 2014 at 10:52 pm
…I find it interesting that Tom Batiuk gets worked up into high dudgeon when someone dares alter Lisa’s Story or question the value of comic books, but he simply can’t be bothered to respect the details in any other sphere (making films, as one example in a long list).

Yes, filmmaking ranks on par with or below the ability to make “a wicked tandoori chicken.”

Apparently.

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