Haik-UNIVAC

Still talking about
Holtron ownership transfer
here in today’s strip?!

Wealthy Boomers are
Out there laying down stacks for
Sperry-Rand mainframes?

Why didn’t props group
Make a more mobile Holtron
For the first movie?

No really, why not?
Or why did they need Holtron
In the first place, huh?

Sentient Holtron
Has always been property
This is just so wrong

A better comic
Would be Short Circuit rip-off
With Holtron and Frank

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14 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

14 responses to “Haik-UNIVAC

  1. A better comic would have had most of the major cast meeting Jason Voorhees in a losing contest.
    (Since it’s Friday the 13th and all.)
    Chew chew chew hah hah hah.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    “A lighter, more mobile version”…uh yeah, I hear they have computers now that have the floppy drives built right in. I like how in the Funkyverse obtaining valuable collectibles is frowned upon if you pay for them but the greatest thing in the world if you obtain them for free. I’ll never understand the values these people have.

    • billytheskink

      I’m guessing they replaced Holton with a Kaypro for “Zeton Warriors”…

      • Double Sided Scooby Snack

        Couldn’t find an Osborne computer, I guess. Because in the future, when intergalactic space travel is routine, they’ll be using 1981 computer technology.

      • Don

        Thanks a lot – now I can’t get the Kaypro “fight song” (performed by the “Massachusetts Institute of Computer Technology,” IIRC) out of my head:
        Kaypro, you’ve got disk drives
        Built in for fifteen-ninety-five
        Complete with green screen monitor
        And all of that software
        Kaypro, hats off to you
        Thousands less than Apple ][
        You’re our all-pro, Kaypro 2
        Kaypro, we’re loyal to you

  3. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    There! There all you fucking nattering naysayers!
    “How are they going to fit that in their car?” “It must way a ton!”
    It’s a “lighter, more mobile version”, see? That’s how.
    That’s called writing, a skill the great Tom Batchuck possesses above all others!
    Bow down to his magnificence!

  4. What this means is that the VFX people rigged up something with a bunch of blinky lights that doesn’t weigh a ton and isn’t a brownout waiting to happen. Since they have this odd desire to be solicitous to these two dopes, we get this instead of the more appropriate “having Security escort them from the premises and using Holtron as a boat anchor.”

  5. Charles

    “Before it gets sold to some wealthy baby boomer.”

    Yeah, Clay, about that… The last valuable artifact gift that Dipshit was granted was sold, to “some wealthy baby boomer”, at an auction to benefit some woman’s charity that Dipshit met just once. You absolutely gave this thing to the wrong person then.

    Although it amuses me to imagine them giving Mopey and Dipshit something like this, seeing as how specific ownership could become a serious issue if Holtron was actually worth anything. Does it belong to Mopey, or does it belong to Dipshit? What if one of them wants to sell it but the other doesn’t? Can Dipshit get a court order to force a sale when his string of terrible career decisions finally catch up with him?

    Plus, it makes much more sense to give it to the two of them if Clay and The Load actually think that Mopey and Dipshit are married to one another. That’s certainly a reasonable impression they could have gotten.

  6. bobanero

    I smell another Cancer Auction coming..

  7. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    In Batty’s pointy little bald wish-fulfillment head, that clunky old prop actually IS valuable. Like six figures worth!

    Blondie McBighair hears about this and is truly thrilled. “Duuuhhhren, since you won’t be making any money until your comic books start selling, selling this thing will give us enough money to live off of until…”

    “I already donated it to the Lisa’s Legacy Foundation. All we have to do is pay to have it hauled to their warehouse in Ohio.”

    “THAT’S EVEN BETTER!!”

  8. Don

    “Before some wealthy baby boomer,” eh? Hmmm…how many wealthy baby boomers that would be interested in a prop from a Starbuck Jones movie do we know?

  9. Rusty Shackleford

    Meanwhile, over on Crapshaft, dorkus malorkus drives 2 hours to Columbus to find out that her book will need a publisher and editor, and some marketing.

    That’s the Batty way. Ignore the real world and fall back to the way things were done in the days of yore. Batty should spend some time with old people, they all aren’t as dumb as he makes them out to be.

    • DOlz

      Its even worse than that. Telephones have been around since before these characters were born so its not even new tech to them.

      “In 1876 Alexander Graham Bell shouted to his colleague through a revolutionary communications device; one year later, Cleveland, Ohio, installed its first telephone. The first phone service in that city was provided by Western Union Telegraph Co., but that company soon withdrew from the business after a patent dispute with the Bell Telephone Company, the organization formed to oversee and market Alexander Graham Bell’s technology. The exchange was then purchased by a Bell licensed company called the Cleveland Telephone Company. Incorporated in 1880, the Cleveland Telephone Company operated as the only local telephone company in the city for ten years.”