Boyz On The Hood

Today’s strip is too stupid for words. These two drove up to the Hollywood sign to reflect on all of those poor souls who never find the success in the entertainment industry that they completely stumbled into and NEVER earned? Tone deaf doesn’t even begin to describe how tone def this is.

Which one of these two owns this 2009 Mitsubishi Eclipse and how long have they actually been a 16 year old girl in disguise? It is so close to the unprotected edge of the mountain… won’t someone please drop this thing into neutral? Pretty please.

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24 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

24 responses to “Boyz On The Hood

  1. redsnifit

    So *that’s* why they’re leaving, Hollywood has been reduced to a volcanic wasteland.

    But seriously though, Batiuk really, really despises Hollywood. Did he try his hand at writing movies and get rejected?

    • billytheskink

      Yeah, I also noticed that LA seemed to be covered in molten lava. All the more reason to send these two and their Mitsubishi over the edge.

      All it takes is a push. Just a push…

  2. Epicus Doomus

    F*ck these nimrods, f*ck their Batiukmobiles and most of all, f*ck Tomban’s perpetual “Hollywood-Destroyer Of Souls” trope too. He’s just bitter because no one cared enough to “option” his stupid cancer book (actually just a collection of previously-published comic strips) into a “table read” or whatever, that’s all. “Every light in L.A. represents another shattered showbiz dream”…uh yeah, sure Tom. Was there some sort of trope-fulfillment bonus payment involved here or something?

    He’s been ramming these two jerks down his reader’s throats since mid-February and he doesn’t appear to be sick of them yet either, which is somewhat out of character for him. For years I’ve assailed the way he aimlessly hopscotches from arc to arc for no reason, yet now I’m practically yearning for it. F*cking Batiuk, man.

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      They wanted to do a table read of BatHack’s cancer movie, but nobody had a bent nail.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Maybe if those two clowns spent more time working, rather than going up the mountain to wax philosophically about how tough it is to make a mark on Holkywood, they may have accomplished something.

      Unlike Batty, I actually know people who work out there, and none of them are under any delusions that they will leave some big mark on Hollywood. One of them is a musician who plays the background music on many shows, the other has a small production company and tries to help get new shows produced. Both work extremely hard and have no time for this woe is me nonsense. Fun fact: both grew up in NE Ohio not far from Westview.

      • Epicus Doomus

        Right now there’s some sad-sack asshole sitting on the top of Mount Akron, looking down at the city lights and bemoaning the fact that they can’t get their comic strip picked up by the Syndicate because there’s just no more room on the comic page…

        “If only the path to the glittering brass ring wasn’t blocked by old unfunny comic strips with readership in the dozens…I coulda been a contender, dammit!”

  3. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Yes, those apartments are filled with thousands of losers not lucky enough to be drawn by a cartoonist with a wish-fulfillment fetish.

    “My darling Pete, let’s escape this terrible place. It’s way too depressing here — unlike Westview, Ahia.”

    “Agreed, dearest Duuuhhhren. Let us return to the land of pizza and cancer, where I will lay my jewels at your feet every night. By the way, my sweet, what does our license plate, “TBRB,” stand for?”

    “Todd Batyuck Really Blows.”

  4. As I’ve said before, Batiuk has it in for large cities because he instinctively knows that he doesn’t have what it takes to live in them. Since he doesn’t have the stature to dominate the scene, he needs a gated community to cower in and feel like more than the pygmy he is.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      I don’t think so. In his blog he gushes over NYC all the time, brags about the cool little artists shops, etc. But LA, he just hates it as it represents crass commercialism of artistic forms. NYC has the East Village and it was cool back in his day, is still cool now, and he adores it.

  5. Darrine Jarre owns that Flexible SUV-compact we saw on the Ohio Odyssey, so this must be Mopey Pete’s Batiuk Sportscar 2000. Small, economical and ugly, yet fast enough to let him speed away from the scene of his latest romantic failure.

  6. DOlz

    Yep I feel sorry for all those poor souls who never get their wildest dreams fulfilled over and over, so they can piss on them and throw them away.

  7. The Nelson Puppet

    I believe we’re in a vicious circle – Batyuck is hate-writing this strip to antagonize us and we are hate-snarking this strip to antagonize him. Fortunately we are Legion, for there are many of us…

  8. Eldon of Galt

    A prime example of Batiuk’s crappy writing today. A couple of guys yammer about how horrible Hollywood is, but for them, everything – and I do mean EVERYTHING – went just great. So there’s no weight to their whining and regrets. It’s just ridiculous.
    Then there’s the earnest, over-wrought and really-not-making-any sense
    “fingerprints on the brass ring”. Very typical of Batiuk’s ham-handed, misdirected efforts.
    And we wrap up with the glitter that isn’t Hollywood gold. It seems to be a twist on a well-known phrase, but actually makes no goddamn sense at all. Again, very typical.

  9. Gerard Plourde

    Darin’s reply explains a lot. For Darin (and apparently Batty), life is a disappointment if you don’t make it to the top tier. I guess that means that for Batty an almost half-century career of producing a nationally distributed daily strip pales when one hasn’t been published by Marvel or DC. Truly a sad worldview.

  10. Ray

    “I’m going to miss this view”? Just how the hell many times has he been up there?
    Don’t get me wrong, as someone that has been on the sign, it’s a great view, but the days of just climbing up there, or even driving the access road without repercussion are long gone.
    Unless these asshats have special dispensation to get into restricted areas around Hollywood…

  11. My biggest problem with TB is that he won’t allow his characters to enjoy any success they may have. If they are a successful screenwriter, they can not be happy until they give that up and follow in the 50 year footsteps of Jack Kirby and Stan Lee, except they won’t own any of the business or characters they create. If they are a successful author, they must continue to grade high school English papers and complain about it. No one is happy with what they have EXCEPT Funky whose life call was to make pizza and die in a car wreck.

  12. Don

    2009? It has a blue California plate (with “California” not entirely in uppercase, but that’s another thing) – they stopped putting those on cars around 30 years ago (modern ones are white with blue letters, although newer cars with personalized plates can have the old black with yellow letters style).

  13. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    “Well, sweet Duuuhhhren, I’ve enjoyed this view but it’s time for you to drive me home.”

    “Okay, my love. Bend over.”

  14. Epicus Doomus

    billytheskink: One of the greatest post titles ever, BTW.

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