Link To Today’s Strip

He’s back: The Delicate Genius, the paragon of integrity and virtue, the defender of the Gospel According to Lisa, the man who has the courage and conviction to see right through the perverse decadence and evil greed that rules “Hollywood” and the twisted freaks that dwell within. That’s right, the smug, annoying dick with ears himself, Les f*cking Moore, along with his trusty imaginary sidekick, Anxiety Cat!

In this installment of “Les Writes The Same Story Again And Again And Again”, it seems that Clay Wallace, noted Hollywood scumbag, has concerns about Les’ shitty script. So he’s postponing the “pilot” and doing a “table read” instead, which makes no sense at all unless you’re a bad comic strip writer trying to toss around “show-biz” lingo, in which case it’s perfectly logical. Maybe they’re turning the cancer book into a series now, where another shoe will drop each and every week.

(“Previously on Lisa’s Story”:……..”Is she….???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”)

And look at TheAuthor trying to work that ridiculous cat into the story again. Les’ imaginary friend means he’s about to suffer once again from the intense angst and self-loathing that comes with the territory for a profoundly gifted “writer” like him. He has no problem with dropping one of his dry little sarcasm bombs on his boss like a big wiseass but when it comes to plying his trade for money he starts simpering in the corner again, all worried about the universe conspiring against him and so forth. He’s just so incredibly insufferable. Look at him there in panel three with that smug obnoxious look on his face, who can look at that panel and not think about killing the guy? What a dick.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

20 responses to “Bu(zzzzz)Kill

  1. Epicus Doomus


    Another great set of parody panels….I love it when he just lobs one across the plate like that.

  2. “Pilot”? “Pilot”?

    Are they making a damned series out of that stupid book? Because my understanding is that the “pilot” is the premier episode of an ongoing series.

    A “table read” is when the cast sits around a table and reads out their parts. It’s similar to a rehearsal but without blocking, etc.

    So I guess they don’t have a script they’re happy with, but they already have a cast? (Not impossible, but not very likely in the cable business.)

  3. Wait, I thought Les was writing the screenplay for a made-for-tv movie, and now suddenly it’s a series pilot?

    Game of Cancer: You die or you die.

  4. The problem with a table read is that whatever horrible tumor being visited upon us, Les will have a hard time keeping it from metastasizing all over Netflix…..or whatever bland name Batomic gives it……

  5. Are they making a damned series out of that stupid book? Because my understanding is that the “pilot” is the premier episode of an ongoing series.

    It is. Either Batiuk is ‘getting back’ at EEEEvil Hollywood for not respecting the purity of his vision (probably by telling him to his face that even serious dramas have to have some element of the forbidden and wrong quantum called ‘hope’ in them) OR he’s on another “%@^&%$# the facts! This is how things should ACTUALLY work!!” kick again.

  6. “Funky Winkerbean is a reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner.”

  7. Sgt. Saunders

    Les is so stoned that after hours of staring at the feline figment of his imagination, he can barely form a coherent sentence. “We…..have……Buzzzz?” Well HE sure haz buzz.


    Next week, Clay suggests read they suggest that maybe Lisa’s story be made into a reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues.

  9. I think the producer just has to be screwing with Les. “Shooting a pilot” and “do[ing] a table read” are really far apart in the production process.

    Imagine getting a call from your baker saying, “Instead of decorating the icing, we’ve decided to measure out the flour.” It’s a lot like that, and when it’s not covered up via jargon, it sounds really stupid, doesn’t it?

  10. “No, Les, we don’t have ‘buzz,’ whatever you mean by that. Your script demonstrated absolutely no knowledge of cinematic technique or the screenplay format, so I decided to toss out random jargon to see if you actually knew anything about how film and television work. It was a test, Les. You failed.”

  11. billytheskink

    “This makes perfect sense,” Les said to himself. “This production will never get off the ground if we shoot the pilot.”

    Really, though, I’m guessing this is how TB remembers a conversation he had with a producer about an eventually-cancelled film version of Funky Winkerbean’s Homecoming.

  12. Smirks 'R Us

    Is there a way to auto-post “this makes no sense” every day? If so, put me down for that.

    All of a sudden it’s a TV series instead of a movie? For which Less was clearly writing a screenplay, not a script. This strip is like 10 pounds of Le Shit Brown in a 5 pound bag.

  13. John

    Clay: “By the way, have you figured out yet how the heck we can turn this into a series? There’s only about sixteen minutes worth of actual story. Not even enough for a TV movie, let alone a multi-season series!”

    Les: “Simple! The rest of the series will be about ME!”

    Clay: “….”

    Les: “Well, you know, the guy playing me.”

    Clay: “And what will a show about you…um…be about, precisely?”

    Les: “It’ll show me trying to deal with life!”

    Clay: “Dealing with life” is not a -story-, Les.”

    Les: “Speaking of stories, did I tell you about the time my evil, stupid college professor gave me a BAD GRADE? Oh, I hated him for years!”

    Clay: “What was the story with that?”

    Les: “Stop being so stuck on their being a STORY! My works are only a quarter inch removed from reality! I dealt. With. LIFE. THAT IS THE ONLY THING YOU NE-”


    Les: “….obviously, Hollywood is just too scared of my integrity and purity.”


    Clay: “Lisa’s Story” has been put in turnaround, folks.”

    “THANK GAWD. I thought we’d never dump that turkey!”

  14. John

    Excellent point on the totally bogus understanding of how a production order goes, beckoning.

    I can only guess that Tom thinks this is like one of those puff piece interviews, where nobody CARES about the facts, it’s all just filler, so he can spout off any malarky he wants to.

  15. Professor Fate

    “And we’ve changed it to a happy ending – it’s you who gets the cancer and dies.”

  16. Merry Pookster

    What a miserable existence