Sympathy For The Drivel

Link To Today’s Strip

Like how TomBat is doing, let’s forget for a moment that Wallace “optioned” Les’ cancer book after reading it so he was obviously well aware of what he was buying. Let’s also ignore the fact that this screenplay is little more than a re-write of that very same cancer book. I don’t really have a point here other than you must overlook those gigantic glaring plot holes lest you double over in laughter like Les’ imaginary feline friend over how amazingly stupid this story is. “Beautiful work of art”…c’mon Tom, enough is enough already.

You see, television is a genre with no room whatsoever for “art” of any kind, much less the greatest piece of cancer death-related art of ALL TIME. A story as magnificent as “Lisa’s Story” belongs in a medium capable of letting its brilliance shine through unfettered, like a book or a comic strip or maybe even a compilation of comic strips in book form. But not TV, uh-uh, no f*cking way. Because TV is about entertainment, dammit, and if Beardo can’t accept that he might as well take his stupid cancer screenplay and go back to his front porch where he can while away the rest of his days wallowing in nostalgia and making annoying wordplay-based wisecracks every three seconds.

Ahhh shit, I should have put a spoiler alert there, as I just totally blew the big Act IV twist. Oh well, not like you didn’t all know it was coming anyway, you know?


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

25 responses to “Sympathy For The Drivel

  1. DOlz

    Have to disagree with you. I’ve had cats most of my adult life. That cats not laughing, the stupidity killed it.

  2. I sure hope Mr. Batiuk makes his point that Hollywood is a terrible place run by soulless hacks and that “Lisa’s Story” is the single most genius piece of writing in the history of literature a little more clearer – some of us stupid people might not get what he’s trying to say.

  3. Chyron HR

    You see, the moral of the story is that Batiuk’s work is literally too good for those hacks in Hollywood.

    I mean, Les. Les’s work. I don’t know how I could possibly have conflated the two.

  4. Charles

    Give the guy some credit though. At least he admits that Lisa’s Story is not entertaining.

    Of course, when he mentions this Beautiful Work of Art he has to be talking about something other than the script we saw Les writing over the last year, since those excerpts qualified as neither entertainment nor art.

    I’m not sure why I expected this to be any more than a rehash of the sequence of school parents objecting to a cancer play.

  5. bad wolf

    I know it looks bad but the original plan for this week was to be Cayla complaining that Les was too virile and his penis too large for her. Luckily, the Comics Kingdom editors finally intervened.

  6. I’d like to see a comic strip where one of the characters creates a comic book, and tries to sell it to one of the big comic publishers.

    In the story, he’d discover that the comic book folks are all amoral, money-grubbing hacks who force illegal aliens to create their artwork and then sign their own names to it. They regularly urinate in art books and giggle. “My favorite superhero is Ben Franklin!” they howl, holding up hundred dollar bills. Then they laugh about how all their readers are idiotic pinheads who’ll buy anything between cheap covers. “Good thing having money doesn’t mean having brains! Ha ha ha!”

    I know Tom Batiuk would rage-stroke while reading such blasphemy, but I’d be curious to know if he caught his reflection in one of his many mirrors and had an odd, thoughtful moment. I wonder…did I…?


  7. Guest Page Turner Author

    But cable networks today are responsible for the current golden age of television! Beautifully written, acted, directed, and filmed. Shows like Game of Thrones, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Boardwalk Empire, etc. are all art! And the cable companies don’t seem to even be making “movies” anymore, it’s all serial formatted. I could be wrong, but it seems the “cable movie” genre died out about 10 years ago, giving way to highly artistic serial drama, documentaries and, mainly, unscripted reality shows.

    Any minute now I’m expecting Lenny and Frankie to crash this meeting. They have secretly teamed up with Producer McPencilbeard with their plans to turn “Lisa’s Story” into ” The Real Housewives of Westview.”

  8. Well, there’s still the SyFy Original Movies, which are a proud bastion of the kind of cheap crap Batiuk seems to think is the sole product of eeeeevil Hollywood. Cancernado, anybody?

    But really, I’m just happy that someone in Funky Winkerbean is enjoying Les’ humiliation as much as I do.

  9. Rusty

    My wife enjoys the cheesy romanticsm of Lifetime movies, which always feature a happy ending. Not that kind of happy ending. Anyway, I assume that’s the target market for a Lisa’s Story tv movie, but Mr. Hollywood here is letting Les know that Lisa dying, then 15 years of mourning, may be art but it ain’t entertaining.

  10. Epicus Doomus

    GPTA: Yep, he’s around seventeen years behind the times, as usual. Or maybe his local basic cable package is especially lacking. Whatever his problem is with “cable TV” he sure is bitter about it. I just keep picturing an angry sixty-something man lovingly dusting a “Lisa’s Story” curio shelf while silently cursing the filth that’s airing on some daytime TV talk show he has on in the background.

    “Beautiful work of art”…now I’m picturing the infamous Lisa radiation beam Sunday strip hanging in the Louvre. And every time he drops another self-congratulatory “LS” reference in there I’m picturing Mrs. B complaining about those unsold cases of “LS” books in the garage. He has no shame at all where that book is concerned, the fictional one or the real one.

  11. @GPTA: That is exactly the problem with Batiuk: he’s always two decades behind everyone else and he can’t even see it. I’m convinced that he’s so far behind the cultural curve, he’s just now hearing about this character called “Doomsday” that seems to be giving Superman Execdrine Headache Infinity.

  12. Guest Page Turner Author

    I may have to recant some of my previous comment. As Rusty points out above, Lifetime is the center for cheesy movies like “Lisa’s Story,” and could very well be the network that Battic is attempting to satire here. A quick look at a few of the titles in Lifetime’s lineup this week reveals a number of films that Douchebag McPencilbeard could easily have been involved with:

    Sorority Surrogate
    Killing Daddy
    Death Clique
    Escape from Polygamy
    The Husband She Met Online
    Stolen from the Womb

    So “Lust for Lisa” is not something completely beyond their realm. But I still am itching for the return of Lenny and Frankie!

  13. @Charles: I went into this assuming that at some point, Batiuk would use a sock puppet to call the people who got alienated by his heavy-handed, flatfooted attempt at unrelieved bleakness and hopelessness idiots because he can’t handle the truth: he’s not a special snowflake after all.

  14. Guest Page Turner Author

    @paul Jones: Yes he is so behind, that he is only now hearing about this character “Doomsday!” Now you’ll have to excuse me while I google “Doomsday” because, honestly, everything I know about comic books, I’ve learned from reading Funky Winkerbean. Which means I don’t know dick about comic books.

  15. Sgt. Saunders

    “And by ‘beautiful art’, I mean dull as stale dog shit. Now what’s with that fuckin cat?”

  16. Smirks 'R Us

    Love, love, love the thread title today @Epicus! Great job.

  17. carriekube1

    @Guest Page Turner Author: You’d think Batiuk would like Breaking Bad since it’s also about someone dying of cancer with no hope of recovery.

  18. billytheskink

    So a television executive spent hundreds, perhaps thousands, of dollars to fly Les out to California for the sole purpose of insulting him to his face? This is the first truly believable strip in this whole darn story arc.

  19. @carriekube1: First, he’s never heard of Breaking Bad because he doesn’t have cable. Second, if he ever saw it, he’d be flipping out because a sociopathic drug dealer who ruined any number of lives to sate his monstrous vanity is a far more sympathetic character than Saint Dead Lisa.


    Panel 3 is just begging to become a meme for SOSF.


    Yeah, because no great art is ever done on cable TV. Breaking Bad The Sopranos, The Wire, Game of Thrones, Mad Men. Pure trash. Reality based comic strips are were the great art is!!!


    Sorry for the 3rd post (is their an edit feature?)

    What’s laughable about this is that Showtime..a cable channel..produced a series called “The Big C” about a women dying of cancer. And HBO did a movie called “Wit”..also about a woman dying of cancer. And Lifetime does nothing BUT, sob stories about women dying of various maladies. Batiuk doesn’t own a TV set, cable or internet, does he?

  23. Professor Fate

    Another “Pity the poor artist manunkind” to garble e.e.cummings strip.
    defensive self pity about doing art in the face of the world of Philistines is not really an attaractive trait – but this is Les and the Author we are talking about.
    Also it’s not that the Author is doing ‘art’ he doing ‘bad art’.

  24. Epicus Doomus

    WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST: He does, but the picture tube is shot and the wire on the clicker is frayed. And he can only bring in those UHF stations if he holds the rabbit ears just right.

  25. 2133jenjen

    I finally get it. The cat is the readers of this blog!