Sorry…Sorry Indeed

Link To Today’s Abomination

Well, I would think that getting Adam Sandler to replace Mason f*cking Jarr would be quite a coup for a shitty little made-for-cable TV film. I mean the quality of his work aside, he IS a real “movie star” who manages to crank out a film every year or two like clockwork, plus he’s a major “name” with a fan base and everything. In fact, Sandler might actually be a good choice to play a smug neurotic asshole with a knack for being annoying, as it’s pretty much his main stock character.

But naturally Les replies with deadpan disdain, as he’s Very Serious Artist and not some clown who’s dancing to Hollywood’s depraved and vapid tune anymore. He’s using the ol’ kill fee (which Batom never even bothered to explain, BTW) to put this sordid chapter of his post-cancer book life behind him for good. No siree, no more Hollywood bullshit for the Delicate Genius. You either play by the cancer book’s rules or you don’t play at all.

Interesting to see Author Guy taking a direct potshot like that, I wonder if he’s “real life” pals with Sandler or something? That can’t be…can it? I’m sure that Sandler is merely TB’s stand-in for all lowbrow Hollywood dreck, an easy target. Anyone responsible for “writing” a piece of garbage as bad as this story is shouldn’t be knocking anyone for anything if you ask me. Sure, Sandler’s movies might be painfully bad but I’d wager that any one of his most awful films is still funnier than all of Act III combined, absolutely no doubt. I guess it’s easy for a guy like BatTom to take snarky little digs at at celebrities, working as he is in near-total anonymity and all.

And unless he ends up fleshing out this “SJ” movie fantasy (shudder) it looks like that’s all for Mason Jarr. I honestly always felt bad for the guy. Imagine being cast as Les Moore in a movie, I mean THAT’S indignity.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

27 responses to “Sorry…Sorry Indeed

  1. No really, I’d like to see “Lisa’s Story” turned into a tasteless Adam Sandler comedy. It would irritate Les to no end, and it would probably be an improvement.

  2. sgtsaunders

    I have a nagging feeling that all of this will come to a head on Sunday in one of those awful comic book covers.

  3. I suspect Mason’s “Lunch With Les” episode convinced him that he’d better double down and light a fire under his agent to get back onto the Starbuck Jones train. I like to think that as Mason drove off in his sports car on that night, he was shuddering and convulsing and going “Ewwwwww!” all the way home. Gad…to think I was eating with that guy.

    What do you want to bet on the last strip of this arc, Secretary Gray calls Les “Les” instead of “Writer Guy,” just to show how he’s earned her respect (never mind for what). All together now: EWWWWWW!

  4. Charles

    You “lost” Mason this morning? What the hell is it with Batiuk and contracts? Are we to suppose that everything had gotten this far but they never actually had Mason signed to do the film? He was just showing up out of a good will gesture or something?

    Because blowing off contracts like this would be a career crippling for an average, unremarkable actor like Mason.

    But of course, I’m sure this is Batiuk’s way of showing that Mason was really a good guy who came around once he and Les got all chummy. Not that, you know, Mason thought breaching a contract to act in a movie would be worth the reputation hit if he got out of playing Les, once he actually met the guy the character was based on. Now the question will be whether that whole bizarre exchange between the Lisa actress and Les will be enough for her to be “redeemed” as well.

    I’m also amused that Batiuk had the withered old crone call Les a rat without even realizing what he was doing.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    “Lust For Lisa” (2014) 1/2 star: Les Moore (Adam Sandler), a struggling screenwriter, has his debauched annual Vegas getaway weekend with the guys ruined by the ill-timed news that his wife is dying of cancer. With Abe Vigoda as Funky. Adult situations.

  6. Jimmy

    Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison provided 2,000 times the entertainment Funky Winkerbean ever will.

  7. Jeffcoat Wayne

    …Featuring Kevin James as Bull Bushka, Rob Schneider as Crazy Harry, Chris Rock as Nate da Principal, and David Spade as Holly Winkerbean.

  8. Jimmy

    And 1 million times less misery.

  9. Mason Jarr

    But what does “Kill Fee” mean?!?!

  10. Rusty

    Mason Jarr found the confidence to audition for the big Starbuck Jones role after Les told him about the power of the bent nail. Yep.

  11. It occurred to me today that we may be holding TB to too high a standard. Here’s a guy who’s spent close to 90% of his adult life drawing a comic strip nominally about a high school. It’s probably unreasonable of us to expect him to know about stuff.

    I mean, if he knew about stuff, he might have checked IMDB for Adam Sandler’s writing credits before having his writer-guy character snidely dismiss him. For those of you keeping score at home, when it comes to writing credits, the score is Adam Sandler: 20, TB: 0.

    But here is where the going gets weird. TB has an IMDB entry. And yes, it really is that TB.

    As you might imagine, I can no longer even.

  12. @oddnoc: Good catch on that. Batiuk has always impressed me as being cut off from the outside world so that its influence cannot corrupt his creative purity with evil and contradictory information. Today’s strip proves that because all he knows about Adam Sandler is that he’s a Hollywood actor someone told him about once.

    In any event, in the real world, this would be a perfect opportunity for Les to jump ship, get involved in a real movie and reengerize his life. In Batiuk’s world, we’re going to get moping about how the sheeple want the mass media to dull them to the truth of misery, pain, loss, heartache and despair so that an empty mind can justify hiding in his damned bunker.

  13. Flummoxicated

    Adam Sandler is a comedian, and in TB’s universe, comedy is low-brow, tacky entertainment for the masses that is terrible and bad and only dumb people like to laugh.

  14. billytheskink

    … and Randy Quaid as the voice of Le Chat Bleu.


    I would rather listen to Adam Sandler do the Whitey voice from Eight Crazy Nights for hours on end, than read one Funky Winkerbean strip.


    I may not know a lot about the movie industry. But why would Mason need to leave this set to work on Starbuck Jones? Wouldn’t the studio be able to organize both schedules? Film Mason’s scenes first so he has time to film Starbuck Jones? Also I would think the made for TV movie would want to keep Mason so they could advertise that they have the actor playing Starbuck Jones in their movie. Then again maybe I am wrong.

  17. Professor Fate

    filler and an odd crack about Adam Sandler but the truly distrubing thing about this strip if the hint that we are going to get a Starbuck Jones Movie story arc – that is a cause for terror.

  18. David

    If Mason Jarr has moved on to “Starbuck Jones”, presumably as the star, that implies that they had cast someone like young Harrison Ford to play Les.

  19. Wait I’m confused I thought that Mason was going to do both. It sounded like that from back a couple of sundays.

  20. I suppose it’s possible, with the “time jump” and all, that by this time Adam Sandler is a washed up has-been of an actor, and Mason Jarr is actually a bigger name in the industry. It’s as likely as anything else that happens in this terrible comic strip.

  21. J C

    Epicus & Jeffcoat, as perfect as your FW casting was for a Sandler movie (even down to Spade-as-Holly and AV as FW!), that’s just Can’t Miss.
    I would almost definitely watch that when it came to cable.

    (At the risk of name-dropping, I met Sandler in college ever-so-briefly, and he was a polite, nice person. A college friend later worked on Eight Days and actually got to know him and could not say nicer things about him.)

  22. I liked my casting pretty well:

  23. Charles

    Also, Les’s face in panel one: There are not enough knees in the world for his groin.

  24. Charles

    David Spade as Holly Winkerbean

    Boy, if ever there was a role for Brian Dennehy….

  25. Epicus Doomus

    “Lisa’s Story 2 – The Re-Lisa-ing” (2015) 1/4 star: Les (Adam Sandler) is forced to cut the Vegas leg of his book-launch-tour-party short when his daughter’s (Bailey Jay) knee explodes during a high school basketball game. With Gary Busey as Crazy Harry.