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Monday, November 10
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Son of Stuck Funky · The web's premiere source for Funky Winkerbean snark
Son of Stuck Funky 
That’s right, Cayla. Unlike with Westview’s other main industries, if you work in a school you can’t drive the customers away by doing a shitty, lackadaisical job. Nope, the best you can do is to not give a damn and make as many sarcastic remarks as you can until you either die or retire.
I forgot all about that awful D.U.I. gag. As quickly as I possibly could, I might add. So is Bull a good coach or a bad coach? Does TB himself even know? Wait…do not answer that, no need.
You would think someone so familiar with Westview High as Bull would be more worried about there being fellow faculty around during a job interview than students.
Epicus, Bull is an awful coach that the story insists is a good coach. Or at least I think that’s what the story is trying to say. It can get really confused at times and you’re not really sure because what you’re seeing is suggesting one thing, but the reactions characters apparently have show that it’s supposed to suggest something else.
So Batiuk just jumped ahead from the Scapegoats winning their first-ever championship to mild office hijinx starring the coach. What a thrilling end to the football arc.
Hell, calling it an ‘end’ is giving Batiuk’s meager writing facilities too much credit. It didn’t end, it just stopped. But could you expect anything more? There were a lot of football arcs in 2014, from Jarod to Bushka’s recruitment to Owen being put in the mascot and our auteur couldn’t even be bothered to have a minimal thematic connection between them.
God, what a wretched comic this is. It’s almost as bad as Apartment 3G. … okay, maybe not that bad. But it’s getting there.
Heaven forfend that the ungrateful mutants be underfoot and say something ungrateful and wrong about how they aren’t the bane of young adult existence. Having triumphed despite his charges’ genetic inferiority, he doesn’t want evil lies being told about how he’s a hysterical incompetent who couldn’t lead sheep.
At least Apartment 3G has likeable characters, even though they now simply talk at random for weeks on end.
Is there any character in Funky Winkerbean that can be identified as likeable? Seriously. Every single main character can be considered to be a Jerkass… even Cayla.
Bull gets a new job, will he move out of Westview and out of the strip? Bull would be the only high school teacher in America that hasn’t memorized the student-free days on the calendar.
Jeez just how stupid is Bull? We already knew that he doesn’t know anything about football or motivating a team, but now he doesn’t even know the schedule of the place he works. What does he do just show up everyday and if the doors are unlocked he sighs, goes in, and spends another day beating down the spirit of his “students”. Yep beat those students so far down that working in a pizza place or comic store looks like the golden ticket.
So, I woke up to find that my newspaper has again cut several comic strips, this time so they could have room to run Dr. Oz’s weekly column about how eating healthy foods might be good for you. Guess which writer had two strips survive?
Apartment 3G pretty much hit rock bottom last week, when Margo and her Father spent the whole week in the kitchen of the apartment pretending that they were having lunch at the Tribeca Grill. It’s like the whole comic strip has been stricken with Dementia. FW hasn’t come close to that level of incompetence YET.
Nathan – I would say Buddy is likeable, and Wally is pitiable more than unlikeable.
These “stories” seem to exist for no other purpose than for Les to make a terrible pun, or for any of the other characters to say something world-weary and defeatist. Plots, events, and arcs and all the rest of that have no other goal.
Tom Batiuk would apparently like to have a serious strip. At the same time, he wants to have a humor strip. Not being able to decide which to do, they cancel each other out and it becomes a waste of space in the newspaper. As inexplicable as I find this strip, the fact that newspapers still decide in its favor is even more baffling.
If Bull’s afraid the kids at the school will embarrass him, maybe they could meet in the back room of the comic book shop. I’m sure DSH John would be willing to scrub it down to remove all the body fluids, as well as pack up the restraints and disciplinary tools.
Beckoning, when Wally found out that Khan’s store was going out of business he just complained about the economy and then listened to Khan for a strip or two before sending him on his way. Back to Afghanistan. Never even spent a single panel trying to think up ways to help him, let alone actually spend time hanging out with someone who’s supposed to be his friend.
With that, Wally becomes a jackass.
In most states, winning the conference championship would put you in the playoffs for a state championship. But maybe that’s not how it works in Ohio, as Bull seems more worried about his next interview than preparing for a playoff game.
“Yep beat those students so far down that working in a pizza place or comic store looks like the golden ticket.”
It takes a village!
“So Batiuk just jumped ahead from the Scapegoats winning their first-ever championship” – er, they have won at least one other football championship (there was the time they won a play that either Funky or Les thought up, and I think there was a time when every school except Big Walnut Tech had to drop football for cost reasons, and BWT won the game but later it turned out they had an ineligible player so they forfeited to Westview; there was even a joke about having to drain the trophy case, which was being used as an aquarium at the time, because they now actually had a trophy)
@TFHackett: Thanks for the reminder. The art was so strange and the look into John’s homelife so horrifying that the story arc was just incredibly cringe-worthy.