Today’s strip was not available for preview, but I’m sure it will involve the following, in some order:
– panel of EMU reps setting up a college-oriented gag
– panel of students reacting to said gag
– panel of school sign touting Saturday’s 8:00 PM winter concert
Emo’s daily opinion, on college education:
“I think today’s college students are some of the most intelligent, perceptive people… in their age group.”
– Emo Philips
Son of Stuck Funky 
I can’t believe anyone in a class taught by Bull would be the least bit interested in scholarships, or college, for that matter. Come on, it’s got to be a class like Remedial Seat Warming or Pretending You Weren’t Actually Bullying Someone, But Instead Were Alone in a Closet While Unspecified Fluids Leaked Under the Door.
Har har HAR…those big soulless megaplex state universities are tools of Beelzebub himself, I tells ya! Not a perfect student…f*ck you, rejected. Terrible athlete? F*ck you, rejected. Nothing but standards-driven snobatoriums, that’s what they are. Damn them and their elitist, pious “admission qualifications”, damn them straight to hell.
So these EMU representatives visit local high schools just to belittle and mock students with no chance of being admitted? What’s the deal with this weird out-of-nowhere grudge against big state universities? I mean sure, it’s not Ohio State or Michigan but KSU isn’t a quaint collection of old brick buildings set on the side of an ivy-covered hillside or anything. So what’s the deal with all the animosity here? What a nut.
Gah. The smugness, it burns. Panel 3 approaches Les-level punchability.
Love the strategy of EMU’s marketing pitch: “I know! We’ll go into classrooms, make crappy jokes, and insult the students we’re trying to recruit! Bet it will work like a charm!”
The higher education system in America is fertile ground for humor and satire. You almost have to admire Batiuk for completely missing all of it.
The recruiter left out being above-average in women’s basketball.
@TheDiva:
Pretty much every storyline Batiuk does could very easily be made interesting and funny, if it was written by someone who was a lot less full of himself and actually put some effort into his work. Even that damn comic saga.
Haw haw, this is funny because these non-K*nt State kids are really obnoxious when they’re supposed to be selling their awful non-K*nt State school. The girl tells the kids they’re morons who are better suited to stuffing tacos. The brutha tells them they’re not smart or athletic enough to get financial aid. And he seems to enjoy telling them the terrible non-K*nt State school really doesn’t want to see their stupid, fat faces coming through the door anyway. Haw haw.
We get it, Tommy. Why don’t you show us on this doll where that nasty Ohio State touched you.
NOT funny.
Even defaming a rival university could have been made more entertaining if Batiuk were capable of trying really hard. This is not trying really hard.
Also, there’s a number four associated with the good school of love and goodness: Neil Young howling “FOUR DEAD IN O-HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-O!!!!” For good or ill, the people of the world will always associate his beloved alma mater with a violent chapter of your nation’s history (I’m a north-of-the-border man) and it’s blowing his mind.
@Hadda Mae Kapupe: It’s appalling to have to remember that the people of Cleveland have no real idea what a petty bunch of envious clods Batiuk makes them look like. I’m reminded of a time when I first realized that people called Alan Thicke “Kirkland Lake’s Ambassador to the World” and ended up wondering what the Hell the world had done to Kirkland Lake……
Wow, Officer Nordburg was horribly miscast here.
You need to be an elite academic of athlete to get help to attend EMU. I guess these “recruiters” aren’t at Westview looking for students as much as they are there to practice their recruiting skills. After all if they blow it they know they haven’t lost anyone that wasn’t already going to ______*.
*work at a pizza place
work at a comic store
school at Kent State
join the military
leave town only to be sucked back in later
drum roll and the winner is … sent to the cornfield.
I get it. In short, “None of y’all at this high school will qualify for financial aid. You’re too dumb and too slow.”
Boy, oh boy! L’Auteur Glorieux sure is sticking it to Ohio State this week, ain’t he? That’ll teach that big, mean old university for excluding him from from their King Features 100th Anniversary Retrospective.
Seriously, Batiuk, this isn’t normal behavior for a man in his late 60s. For your own well-being, seek some help from a competent therapist.
While I can tell what this strip is not (funny, interesting, etc.), I am confused about what this is. Is it a commentary on the soulless experience of attending a big state college (as opposed to Kent State and its cozy enrollment of… uh 30,000) or is it a thinly-veiled joke about Ohio State’s unspectacular endowment size?
I think any school would struggle to fundraise when they’re wasting time sending representatives to small town high schools to mock kids and give out t-shirts.
“So, tell me why you’re interested in the position of Admissions Counselor at EMU?”
“Kiss my ass, jerkface.”
“You’re hired! What size golf shirt do you take?”
Love the Emo. Here’s my favorite:
I went to school, you know. I was in grammar school. Once we were taking a test. I was copying this other kid’s paper, and I guess the teacher heard my Xerox machine. And she said, “Emo, am I stupid or were you cheating?” I said, “Ah, yes and no.”
She sends me to the principal, and I get to his office and I sit down and he looks at me and says, “Emo, Emo, Emo.” I said, “I’m the one in the middle, you drunken slob.”
Jeez-o-pete, now when was that winter concert?
You’d think that with all the cash Funky rakes in at Montoni’s, he would have a Montoni’s scholarship fund or something. Then again you have to sell your soul to him and work, live and eat at Montoni’s forever.
@Jim in Wisc., “Boy, oh boy! L’Auteur Glorieux sure is sticking it to Ohio State this week, ain’t he? That’ll teach that big, mean old university for excluding him from from their King Features 100th Anniversary Retrospective.”
Wow that has got to leave a mark when , “The Lockhorns” get mentioned and your strip doesn’t.
@$$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$ Wasn’t all of the money spent on comic books?
Have a comic book collection? You’re in!
Jim in Wisc.: Well, that explains a lot, it’s as good an explanation as I can figure.
@Epicus Doomus: In the spirit of full disclosure, someone else here pointed this out earlier this week. I just wanted to reinforce the point, as well as say that if this is the case then Batiuk is seriously messed up in the head.
Wait, I thought he plotted all this stuff out a year in advance? So, did he know Ohio State was going to shun him and his work, or did he just sort of take it as given?
What annoys me (besides everything else mentioned this week) about Enormous Midwestern University is that Tank McNamara uses Enormous State University and has for years.