All Dried Up

Ow, my neck. Ok, now that that’s out of the way, today’s strip is a closer look at the cover that was hinted at in yesterday’s panel one, just in glorious color. I wish there was an in-browser way to rotate this but it looks like we’re just all going to have to cock our heads.

A few thoughts:

You’re on issue 57, and most superheros don’t get a sidekick until the writers are out of ideas. It’s the comic equivalent of when a TV sitcom writer turns to another and says: “Have we done the ‘stuck in an elevator’ bit yet? It happens to most heroes, and usually it’s pretty clear heroes are kinda more bad-ass on their own than with a partner and we never see the sidekick again.

I’m looking at you, Rover.

Hawkeye_Vol_2_2

Pete is so worried his readers are going to hate him for killing Absorbing Jr but if he thinks that’s an issue, just wait until he brings lil’ Spongy back with a lame time-travel or ‘it was all a dream’ cop-out.

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23 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

23 responses to “All Dried Up

  1. Well, I just posted this in yesterthread, but it’s worth repeating just to get the facts straight:

    “Wait a minute, he actually got GUEST ARTISTS to copy another artist’s cover? And he gives his “tip of the Funky Felt Tip” to the WRONG artist? That Batman cover was by Sheldon Moldoff, not Bob Kane! I know Kane was notorious for taking credit for all of his “assistants”/ghost artists’ work, but there’s no need to perpetuate Kane’s deception over 50 years later.”

  2. SpacemanSpiff85

    So…that’s the actually cover Pete came up with? Now, in 2015? The comic is being sold for 10 cents? And why is Pete saying Absorbing Junior “was” dead? Did he come back to life in the very same issue? If so, I doubt anyone’s going to care. Of course I don’t think they do anyway. You don’t see any mothers going on cross-country treks to complete runs of The Amazing Mister Sponge.

  3. I have to say that having Sponge Jr have little sponges on his belt is flat-out adorable.

  4. batgirl

    I think–not sure though–that this cover is mean to be the one dream-Pete came up with in his imaginary-flashback sequence in whatever Sepia-Tinted Golden Age (Aluminum Age?) it’s supposed to be, whether 1960s or 1980s or 1990s. So dream-Pete is forced, FORCED, I tell you, to kill off the sidekick, in a not actually very parallel way to how present-Pete is FORCED, forced, I tell you, to retcon Sponge Senior into a clone.
    Which, God help us, probably means another sideways Sunday strip coming up.
    The 2015 comic will still cost .10.

  5. You mean you’ll appear dead for a few pages, then something will happen that will undo the whole thing?

  6. SpacemanSpiff85

    @BeckoningChasm:
    Yeah, but it really draws attention to how bland Sponge himself is. I thought for sure he’d be in the shape of a sponge, or have a suit made of sponges, or at the very least have a sponge logo on his chest. Without the title, I’d assume he was Orange Spandex Visor-man.

  7. I can’t even say that this week’s “storyline” was the worst one ever, because they just continue to get worse and worse!

    But at least we haven’t seen Les for a while.

  8. Epicus Doomus

    No balls at all. It should be Les holding Lisa’s corpse while standing in a pepperoni-strewn wasteland (aka Montoni’s). “NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

  9. @Epicus Doomus: Haha! I had a good chuckle at that. 😀

  10. There’s something that’s more stupid than this “Oh, NO!!! The internet bullies will hound Pete out of his job and force him to return home in disgrace for this by-the-numbers, seen-it-a-million-times plot twist that wouldn’t even be commented on in the real world let alone get someone fired” nonsense Pete is spouting coming soon to a comics page near you: his being cashiered for riling up the twitter tots and internuts because Batiuk has it in for people who tell him that his strip is implausible and his plots start and end nowhere in particular.

  11. Saturnino

    ” You don’t see any mothers going on cross-country treks to complete runs of The Amazing Mister Sponge.”

    Yet.

  12. DOlz

    @Epicus Doomus, And his thought bubble would read, “She’s dead. She sacrificed herself so I could write a book, indulge my Munchausen by proxy syndrome, and keep the VHS tape industry alive.”

  13. Gyre

    Honestly, I’d say this isn’t bad so much as there’s just not much there.

  14. Nathan Obral

    @SpacemanSpiff85: “… Orange Spandex Visor-man.”

    Wasn’t that name used on “Whose Line is it Anyway’s” superhero game at least once?

  15. Nathan Obral

    Hell, I might as well draw one of my cat avatars dressed as Robin and have her claw a copy of “The Complete Funky Winkerbean: 2012-2015″ to shreds.

    Batom® is doing a damned good job trying to outdo Brooke McEldowney in the world of self-gratifying, vengeful, bitter men disguised as ‘cartoonists.’

  16. MJ

    The week in a nutshell:
    Pete: “I bet it wasn’t like this back in the old-timey Batom Comic days”
    Flashback
    Pete: “My mistake, I guess it was”

    Meet the old boss, same as the new boss. Fascinating story.

  17. My guess is that Mister Sponge chose his name the same way that the Tick chose his battle cry, and Brick Tamland chose what he loves.

    He had to go with “Mister” as he never got his degree and wasn’t in the armed forces.

  18. Professor Fate

    ah..wait a moment wasn’t the storyline that present day Pete was going to have the side kick a clone and that was going to be what annoyed the fanboys? So why is present day Pete thinking about the dead sidekick storyline? I know that at times the story lines can become deeply confused but this is especially egregious example.
    Is it possible that he wrote the first week (the clone saga) then when he got the cover his friends did for him just changed the story from Pete makes the side kick a clone to Pete kills the side kick?
    and oh yes if it’s a clone there is another sidekick out there yes?
    So many questions, so many balls in the air and next week I expect band jokes.
    still if he doesn’t revisit comic books for a while – like 6 months. it’d be an improvement.

  19. bayoustu

    Don’t worry, Mopey Pete Reynolds or Roberts or whatever your name might be today: if writers of comicky strips/books were bumped off because they produced material that was morbid, depressing, miserable, grim, lachrymose, joyless, etc., etc., etc., Bantom would have been escorted off this mortal coil long ago!

  20. Rusty

    This really was a wasted opportunity to have a killer Mr. Sponge logo on the hero’s chest. Maybe Captain Loofah beat him to the punch.

  21. 7dials

    Wait, if ‘Junior Dies at Dawn’, why exactly is the Amusing Mr Sponge still staring in frozen horror at his cooling corpse at what must be, given the position of the sun on the ripped-off cover image, around half past ten in the morning at the earliest? Has he been hauling the poor kid around while declaring that he’s dead, dead! and never once called him mother for four hours or something?

    The idea that an ‘arid wasteland’ os lethal to all things sponge is an interesting idea, though. If only because it implies that the sponge-family need to be kept at at least 95% humidity at all times, if not actually regularly submerged in water.

  22. Jimmy

    I find it supremely ironic that there is a copyright on today’s strip.

  23. Well, at least we finally got to actually see the comics character that everyone has been talking about for the last two weeks. I just hope that this comic cover orgasm marks an end to the two weeks of TB public masturbation and we can wake up tomorrow to a different pointless story arc.