Half Off (His Rocker)

Coupons! What sounded like a spell of Tourette’s Syndrome was actually Funky’s response to Cindy’s question in today’s strip about business. Seeing how she’s his ex, I’m sure she remembers Funky’s rise to stardom in the pizza industry, followed by his crash and burn so I’d think asking a Magic 8-Ball about business ideas would yield better results.

It’s funny how Funky went to coupons first and not something even more hare-brained, like, say, when he decided that his small-town pizza shop needed a full-time MBA applications developer to come up with a bloated, useless app.

This strip is a great example of how random the time jumps seem to affect the good citizens of Westview. Funky looks like he’s sliding ungracefully into his early 60s while Cindy could get away with 29 candles on her cake.

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16 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

16 responses to “Half Off (His Rocker)

  1. SpacemanSpiff85

    That “X-Man” bit is one of the dumbest recurring “jokes” in this strip. The only way it would remotely make sense would be if she said “X-My Man” or something dumb. An ex-husband is not suddenly no longer a man. Honestly, the first time I saw that line I thought she was implying he’d had a sex change operation.

  2. Rusty

    I was hoping that Funky and Cindy would fight like rabid animals whenever they see each other, which would be closer to many divorced couples’ reality than the same old smirk fest.

  3. Nathan Obral

    As soon as Cindy said “X-Man,” I started thinking that this is about yet another self-absorbed comic book storyline.

    Besides, what in the hell business dealings would Cindy be concerned with that she would ask her ex-husband for advice on?

    Think about this: a lowly news anchor on Channel One in Cleveland (who got pushed out of her network news anchor role due to nonexistent ageist practices at ABC News) is talking to her ex, a jerkass failed pizza shop chain owner and recovering alcoholic with a thyroid problem whose second wife takes advantage of his finances to satisfy some stupid comic book collection that her son kinda really doesn’t care about.

    The real joke is that newspapers are bothering to publish this garbage, no questions asked.

  4. Cindy’s strategy is sound, as long as she does the exact opposite of what Funky tells her.

  5. Shut UP, Funky. That’s not funny, not clever, and not at all relevant. How do you even know that she was going to talk about “slow” business? Or anything like that? You obviously hang around Les way too much.

  6. Epicus Doomus

    I have to assume that Tom Ban figures that abruptly dropping story lines then picking them up again long after they’ve been forgotten is a good way to disguise how shitty and devoid of entertainment value they are. It doesn’t work, of course, but it might explain why he always does it.

    It took me a second to get that “x-man” remark, then it took me another second to say “duh”. Then a second after that I though “yuck, another Funky & Cindy arc full of wry boring banter and dim-witted repartee, that’s just great”. Doesn’t she own a phone? I am assuming this will be all about Cindy’s current lovelorn status or her rapidly-fading looks, because of course it will be. Cindy exists to remind the reader that even the prettiest girl in town will eventually come back to Montoni’s a withered husk of her former beautiful self, crushed by the unforgiving hand of the Universe just like the rest of them. No one escapes.

  7. The problem is that Batiuk thinks that he’s actually telling the life-affirming story about how everyone eventually returns to the good old town with the good old people they grew up with. Anything to avoid admitting that he never had what it took to make the real big time. Why else did we have to spend last week watching a Smurf kick Stan Lee in the shins?

  8. Call me slow, but I JUST got that “X-Man” joke. That actually is pretty dark. And of course…(*drumroll*) it isn’t very funny. Should bygones not be bygones?

  9. Saturnino

    ” I am assuming this will be all about Cindy’s current lovelorn status or her rapidly-fading looks, because of course it will be.”

    That was her “business” question.

    If she’s going to peddle her a55 on the streets of Cleveland, she’s needs to give out coupons………

  10. Asking Funky for business advice is like asking George W. Bush what to do when part of your country is hit by a hurricane. Remember how he lost most of his pizza empire?

  11. Let me guess.. She’s considering investing with Mason Jarr in a Starbuck Jones-themed restaurant chain.

  12. billytheskink

    I’ll bet Cindy still has drawers full of the coupons Funky gave her as birthday and anniversary presents.

  13. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    The only X-Man character Funky is reminiscent of is “The Blob”!

  14. Howard and Nester

    @billytheskink
    Were you just snarking or was this an actual thing that happened in the comics?

  15. billytheskink

    Just snarking H&N. Though it is totally believable as something that actually happened in this strip, isn’t it?

  16. How it should have gone…
    How it should have gone…

    Funky Winkerbean (frowning): Cindy…

    Cindy: Hey, alky!


    Cindy: I’ve got a business question I’d like to run by you.

    Funky Winkerbean: ARSON!


    Cindy: What?

    Funky Winkerbean: Whenever business is slow… I torch it!