Basket Case

Happy Easter, gang, and a tip of the ol’ SoSF Easter bonnet to Epicus and SoSFDavidO for their guest stints over the last several weeks! Your pal TFH is stepping in to ramp up the “festivities” marking the fifth anniversary of Son of Stuck Funky this week!

Before laying eyes on today’s tableau, I’d have wagered that today’s holiday would have passed unremarked (as it is in today’s Crankshaft, but then Easter 10 years ago might have fallen on a different Sunday). Despite the abundance of baskets, bunnies, and eggs, this scene suggests Christmas (specifically the Epiphany) more than Easter, as Westview’s Holy Family is surrounded by the Magi bearing gifts. I recognized dowdy, nondescript Kerry, Fred’s daughter from his first marriage, though she’s not been seen since Thanksgiving 2013. It took me a lot longer to surmise that the big smirking blonde to the right is Jessica’s mom Jan Murdoch Darling (you’re welcome).

Anyway, it’s a good thing for Skyler that this mob showed up bearing baskets, else he’d have had to content himself with that pitiful tiny basket before him, which I don’t think even contains any chocolate—that green rabbit’s probably made of carob or some crap. It’s certain that the basket’s chintzy size has less to do with “keeping Skyler away from candy”—on one of the two big candy holidays all year, for goodness’ sake—and everything to do with Boy Lisa’s meager Montoni’s salary.

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16 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

16 responses to “Basket Case

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Oh yeah, the “Ann and Fred’s marriage was a loveless sham and you have a mysterious half-sister too” arc from a few years back, which came right on the heels of the “Fred has a stroke and becomes sad and disabled” arc. Good times. If I recall correctly, Boy Lisa was just as whiny back then too.

    Check out little Skyler, he’s becoming Boy Boy Lisa right before our eyes. Time sure flies when you’re appearing on a once-a-year basis. He already has his dad’s constantly morphing nose too. I can’t believe he brought Kerry back, or even that he remembered she existed because I certainly didn’t. All of a sudden deciding to give freaking Fred Fairgood a ridiculous back story was one of BanTom’s stranger decisions in recent years, I mean why Fred and why then? Just bizarre.

  2. Nathan Obral

    Where’s the ghost of My Father John Darling, who was Murdered? Oh wait… that only applies to St. Lisa the Cancer Chew Toy. Nevermind.

    Happy Easter and Happy Anniversary to TFH and SoSF!

  3. SpacemanSpiff85

    When your family’s entire income comes from pizza sales, I don’t think worrying about candy makes much sense. Odds are Skyler has and is going to eat much worse.
    And to answer your question, Darrin-you’re a FW character. You suck, nobody loved you growing up, and there are probably even more horrors in your backstory yet to be uncovered.

  4. “Sorry, kid, but in order to prepare you for a life of misery, ennui, and despair, we’ve decided to shield you from everything that might give you even a fleeting sense of happiness.”

    Seriously, this is not that difficult–ration the Easter haul out over the next several weeks. The kid enjoys the occasional sweet treat without overindulging, you have a steady supply of rewards/bribes to work with, everybody’s happy.

  5. I’m amazed he didn’t cram Les in there somewhere. He is, after all, the husband of Durrwood’s bio mom. So kind of a grandfather, but not.

  6. The fakeness of the smiles is off the charts! Clearly, they secretly despise this guy.

    Happy Easter, everyone!

  7. “This holiday season, when family and friends gather, let us all remember the true purpose of our days upon this earth…to launch complaints about everything, and to look upon gifts in a negative light. Happy holidays from the Funky Winkerbean gang!”

  8. Gyre

    I think Funky’s face got used twice for Darin and Jessica’s mom, which would explain why they look a little odd. Oh well, at least they’re being happy in this.

  9. I was going to let this one slide—I was!—but then I saw it. I mean, of course, Fishstick Annie’s left hand, which immediately calls to mind a Larsonesque cow tool, rather than a human hand. Unsee that!

  10. This, I should think, explains who these people are as parents. On the one hand, we have idiot Jess who blindly follows stupid advice about keeping small children away from things they like and on the other, Durwood and his non-stop envy. SHIT. It’s Mike and Deanna Patterson from For Better Or For Worse.

  11. Professor Fate

    There are of course two ways to read the lines these folks speak in today’s strip – one – amused at ones own plans going south and grateful for the affection shown – and two whiny, envious, and self absorbed – this being FW I have no doubt that the second option is the correct one.

  12. bayoustu

    Well, add “toddlers” to the list of things BanTom can’t draw! The kid looks like those unsettling images of Baby Jesus one sees in Renaissance paintings, wherein the child looks like nothing more than a teeny, tiny adult!

  13. fudgeripple82

    In fact, I believe that’s just a wee, little Bull Bushka in a tiny toupee!

  14. Nathan Obral

    @bayoustu:

    “The kid looks like those unsettling images of Baby Jesus one sees in Renaissance paintings, wherein the child looks like nothing more than a teeny, tiny adult!”

    Judging by how Batom® draws toddlers, it’s a minor miracle that he didn’t draw Jesus today. It might have wound up like this:

  15. Nathan Obral

    Good to see that St. Darin the Fair Good’s head is also slowly becoming elongated to the point where it’s now disproportionately larger than his upper torso.

    I was going to ask, “why the long face, Darin?” but thought the better of it.

  16. Merry Pookster

    Badgers upset Wildcats…. so the heck with you TB….I’m still celebrating and your depressing strip doesn’t faze me