Today’s “comic” strip was not available for preview.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as buddyblog, Cindy, coffee, Funky, green pitcher, Montoni's
Well, at least now we know what happened regarding the job offer she was pondering after having already accepted the offer…she’s going to take it! That’s terrific news, or at least it will be until the next generation of video screens hit the consumer market, at which point it’s straight to satellite radio for ol’ Cindy.
Close out one continuity conundrum, open another. Channel One, who supposedly declined to offer the old and haggard Cindy a new hi-def contract, is in for quite a surprise when the employee they decided not to keep comes strolling in and gives her notice. Who could have seen that twist coming, huh? You tell ’em, Cindy, give ’em hell and let them know you’ll do exactly what they want on YOUR terms, not theirs!
Wow…Batiuk has really hit Cindy with the age hammer.
First of all, I can never get over how the Funk Man allows Cindy to enter Montoni’s. And she’s now sporting obvious Mopey Petey eye circles thanks to a lack of makeup… wonder what BuddyBlog CEO Michael Dukakis will think about that.
What could she have to do that “won’t be a lot of fun?” Hell, I can’t blame Funky for being lost – didn’t Channel One not renew her contract? Not the first time Batom® “writing” superpowers have completely failed him.
I’m guessing she’s referring to having to cover the Great Starbuck Jones Movie Event for the next three years.
It amazes me the stuff Batiuk elects to show and not show. He doesn’t show Pete actually getting fired. But he does show Cindy endlessly discussing her job and love life with her ex-husband.
It is rather sad how Cindy, who apparently lived in New York for over a decade, and Cleveland over the last year or two, has made absolutely no friends from either of those places and instead has to talk about her life and career developments by walking into her ex-husband’s pizza place and talking to him there. She, like everyone else in this strip, died socially after she graduated from high school.
A new week, and we find ourselves out of the frying pan (Pete), and straight into the fire (Cindy). Such is “Funky Winkerbean”!
Why the hell is she boasting about this to the punk-ass bitch who used the ‘threat’ of her having a career that didn’t leave her dependent on the vagaries of the restaurant industry as an excuse to be a vindictive, drunken asshole? Is she heading towards being too stupid to breathe without a spotter?
I was about to make some terrible pun about how “pitchers be crazy”, but it occurred to me that the green pitcher is far and away the least crazy thing in this strip… other than the fact that Montoni’s has no customers.
Crazy – Ex-wife conferring with ex-husband in his pizza emporium about taking a new job
Crazy – That Cindy is going to try the old “you can’t fire me, I quit!” shtick with an employer she might one day need a reference from
Crazy – That anyone notable enough to autograph a photo of themselves would have ever visited Montoni’s
Crazy – Unpadded booth benches
Crazy – has drunk out of each of those coffee mugs at least 425 times
The craziest thing of all is that we’re bound to see her story arc collide with the Nerd Rage arc when she interviews Pete Rackandpinionmolecule about how lucky he is to be the new writer for the Starbuck Jones movie and gets a face-full of a full-on Elly Patterson-like temper tantrum.
Is Funky, literally the only person that Cindy could talk to about this news? I mean seriously, why does Funky need to know this? Why is she sharing this news with Funky? Did Cindy lose all her friends when she got fired? No family? Why is everyone in Westview entitled to spill their guts at Montoni’s. I guess Montoni’s is the Westview equivalent of the bar in Cheers.
@ Paul Jones: That’s something that’s never made sense to me, either. Why would she want anything to do with this horse’s ass who treated her so awfully when they were married. In the real world, no woman in her right mind would ever come near such a horrible ex-husband. Is this the result of some of Batiuk’s terrible “off-frame” retconning? Or is it just another example of his not caring about staying consistent to past events? Or maybe he just doesn’t have a clue about how actual living, breathing human beings behave?
Last week I said:
“Seriously, Pete drives me nuts. He seems like an inoffensive, innocent enough guy and he’s one of the few, if currently the only character in the strip to properly and completely break away from Westview after the jump….”
Great timing, so much for that! Now that he’s been fired he’ll surely be back in Westview, we’ll just have to suffer another bitter, tone deaf, and drawn out Hollywood plot line with him first before mop head mopes his way back to Westview to reunite with the Durwin.
And now back to the yammering, idiot ex-anchor talking to her doddering, yammering idiot ex-husband in his pizza restaurant, both bantering pleasantly which would happen woth about 0.01% of ex-spouses in real life after a bitter, failed marriage.
Well, what can I say? March and April certainly have been a thrilling Moebius strip of defeatist stupidity angling oh so epically between Montoni’s, the Buddle Blog office, Pete’s office, LA/Mason, back to Pete’s office, and now back to Montoni’s. Gahhhhhh.
Here’s today’s quiz: What shape is Funky Winkerbean’s nose? What shape is Funky Winkerbean’s nose?
It’s okay if you can’t answer. Neither can Tom Batiuk.
Since we all know FW is a reality-based comic strip that depicts contemporary issues affecting young adults in a thought-provoking and sensitive manner, and in honor of 420, BatHack has drawn Cindy to look positively baked in panel 2.
Also, did Cindy have open heart surgery last week or is that supposed to be cleavage?
Someone needs to make a collage of the multiple Funky noses, just for the heck of it. Not only does Funky look like he’s in his early 70s, but he apparently has a face made out of Silly Putty.
Because Chuck Ayers does pencil Funky Winkerbean from time to time, I almost want to offer the theory that Ayers is subliminally morphing Funky into Ed Crankshaft, and Batom® doesn’t care.
The stage is set for Mopey Pete to go to Hollywood and make it big – and by that I mean make Les look like a lazy incompetent for whom the term “hacK” is several rung up the writer’s ladder. With any luck at all, Pete will catch Cinders on the gutter-crawling rebound for some cosplay sexytime. For once, I’m looking forward to the next episode.
Welcome to Westview. People only find happiness here by ruining the days of others.
Also, I really dread just what cuckoo, insane, wack-a-doo misperceptions and crackpot notions about Newsblogs Tom’s about to subject us to.
@Nathan–i have theorized that some of the ‘lazy’ looking weeks are TB drawing on the Wacom tablet, instead of scanning in his linework. I think he said something once about using both, and sometimes that line quality does look pretty invariant.
@Jim In Wisc.: I should think that there’s a fourth option: he’s too lazy and stupid to either create or assign her someone she can confide in.
Someone here doesn’t seem to much like pointing out that Batiuk has a defective imagination. He could EASILY have given Cindy a friend if he’d wanted to but it doesn’t seem to have occurred to him.
@Paul Jones nailed it. Batom® was too lazy to think of a BFF for Cindy, so he puts her and Funky in totally implausible conversations at his primary business, not just today, but multiple times. Hell, if Cindy had St. Les the Righteous Smirker or Harry Freakin’ Dinkle as her confidant… or even Ed Crankshaft in his vegetative state… It would be more believable.
There was a reason why Joe Staton and Mike Curtis repeatedly referred to Westview in “Dick Tracy” as “the town where nothing happens,” and I don’t think they meant it as a compliment.
Oh, and FWIW Chris Sims appears to be back at Comics Alliance, so maybe we’ll get the monthly Funkywatch after all. Knock wood!