Tag Archives: buddyblog

The Inevitable Consequences Of Wryness

Link to today’s strip

A comic book reference and global warming. OK then. What this has to do with anything I have no idea. Good thing I’m short on time today. I hate it when he veers away from an ongoing arc to do a “one-off” Sunday strip, I mean couldn’t this have waited?

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The Fault in Cindy’s Stars

So where in the hell is Cindy? She’s never far away from Mason… Isn’t about time for Mason’s co-star to show up and we get a month of Cindy’s jealousy, self-loathing and depression about her looks despite being a 54-year-old in a 28-year-old’s body?

hitorque

Good ol’ T-Bats. Such a clichéd and formulaic writer that SoSF readers can see what’s coming a mile away…

Link to today’s strip

She’s on the far side of fifty-five with the looks of a twenty-something. She had a successful career as a television news anchor, and is now becoming a familiar online personality through her work with start-up webcaster BuddyBlog. She’s engaged to an up-and-coming action film star. What more could Cindy want?

Peace of mind, that’s what. Somehow, she knows that every time a shred of happiness is glimpsed or grasped at in the Funkyverse she calls home, The Creator will snatch it cruelly away. The burden of this threat gnaws at her constantly but she is helpless against it, because The Creator has deemed that no satisfaction in life may be had without cost – even if that cost is as simple as constant anxiety.

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I…D…U…L…L!

HAnzMFG here, looking at today’s strip, and wondering: Does Tom Batiuk ever actually read aloud what he writes for dialog? Does it really count as a pun if you just slowly spell out a homophone? If an inoffensive “joke” is uttered in an old guy’s apartment and nobody smirks at it, was it even told?

Alas, we don’t even know if the cops have been called. Cindy happily introduces herself as if nothing’s unusual about harassing and entering an old man’s apartment via window after initially being denied entry at the front door.

But thank you, Cindy, for at last cutting to the chase, and sparing the long story of Buddyblogs and fading beauty and absurd discriminatory workplace firings. We’re here for what’s really important: the story of an old B-movie actor, who is possibly going to be press-ganged into Stan Lee-ing in an equally bad remake. Excelsior!

“I…D…L…E…?”…

Horsehead_Facepalm

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Technicolor Yawn

Albeit only briefly, Cindy brightens as she remembers that she too has a career, and can maybe wring some publicity out of old Cliff Anger. Until she does the mental arithmetic that the rest of us have already done. But Mason is having none of it. He’s either trying to sound pithy with his “technicolor to monochrome” rejoinder, or perhaps he’s watched so many “Oscars In Memoriam” segments that the idiot really does think that’s what becomes of old actors.

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The Winters Of Cindy’s Discontent

Link To Today’s Strip

Uh-oh. Cindy’s always-troublesome insecurity issues are about to come racing to the fore again, as her beau Mason will be co-starring with the “cute” Marianne Winters, as opposed to whatever old tired hag was originally scheduled to play the part in the film that never, ever will be completed. Knowing how incredibly shallow she is, this will no doubt become a huge issue for her and she’ll probably have to scurry back to Montoni’s to ask Funky for advice on how to handle it. Remember, Cindy, it’s been snowing there since Thanksgiving so allow yourself a little additional travel time.

Bi-“polar”. Winters. Summers. Oh boy, Batiuk must be salivating over the pun opportunities here. By the time this plays out he’ll have completely botched every one of them, probably more than once too. We all knew this Cindy & Mason thing was too good to be true, allowing Cindy to experience happiness before she suffered her full karmic retribution is the sort of thing you just don’t see in the Funkyverse. Warm her up a chair at Channel One or the WHS AV room, as her Hollywood dreams are about to be pulverized, BanTom style.

 

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The Internet Is Still Useless

Link To Today’s Strip

Poor, poor Cindy. A former national network TV news anchor and engaged to a Hollywood superhunk, yet forced to toil in the sordid internet mines just to earn her keep. Such a wry, tragic tale. How many more humiliating indignities will Westview High’s former “it girl” be forced to endure? How many more times will she be faced with a reminder of just how old, washed-up and over the hill she is? Why are the inexorable forces of The Universe stripping her of every shred of confidence and self-worth she has?

I don’t know, but since it’s only Monday, it’s gotta be something. Probably some hilarious stuff about how insecure she is, possibly some comic books thrown in there, maybe an anecdote about a young Stan Lee having his wallet stolen at the first-ever Comic Con, who knows? The way 2016 is going it could literally be anything, at any time, for any reason. Or no reason at all.

Buddyblog always reminds me of Buddy, Wally’s suddenly missing service dog. Man, I miss that mutt. No dialog, no smirking, no wryness, no poorly-rendered nose, just an aloof canine “cool” that the rest of these morons are sorely lacking. Bring back Buddy!

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Book of Excuses

Off book” is when an actor or actress no longer needs their script to rehearse a play or performance piece, having memorized the work.

Thankfully nobody involved with the Starbuck Jones movie has invoked any kill fee, and the project has made it to the rehearsal stage. This affords Mason the perfect excuse to blow off The Coming Reunion. Cindy, love Mason though the does, is perfectly fine with not having to compete to be the center of attention, as you just know she’s been at every other reunion.

Les’s brother Wes Moore makes a cameo appearance in today’s strip!

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