The Winters Of Cindy’s Discontent

Link To Today’s Strip

Uh-oh. Cindy’s always-troublesome insecurity issues are about to come racing to the fore again, as her beau Mason will be co-starring with the “cute” Marianne Winters, as opposed to whatever old tired hag was originally scheduled to play the part in the film that never, ever will be completed. Knowing how incredibly shallow she is, this will no doubt become a huge issue for her and she’ll probably have to scurry back to Montoni’s to ask Funky for advice on how to handle it. Remember, Cindy, it’s been snowing there since Thanksgiving so allow yourself a little additional travel time.

Bi-“polar”. Winters. Summers. Oh boy, Batiuk must be salivating over the pun opportunities here. By the time this plays out he’ll have completely botched every one of them, probably more than once too. We all knew this Cindy & Mason thing was too good to be true, allowing Cindy to experience happiness before she suffered her full karmic retribution is the sort of thing you just don’t see in the Funkyverse. Warm her up a chair at Channel One or the WHS AV room, as her Hollywood dreams are about to be pulverized, BanTom style.

 

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25 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

25 responses to “The Winters Of Cindy’s Discontent

  1. SpacemanSpiff85

    You’re thinking of FW of a few years ago, where things actually happened. What we’ll get is probably two or three weeks of Cindy bemoaning her fate, some “wisdom” from Les, and then an abrupt shift back to Pete and Darrin. And the next time Batiuk wants to make “Cindy is a crone” “jokes”, Mason and her will be together like nothing ever happened.

  2. HeyItsDave

    Cute? She looks like T-Bats lured her over from the last days of Frank Bolle’s Apartment 3G.

  3. I am sure we can all wearily await the obvious puns–

    “Once I entered my Autumn years, I knew Winters would be right behind.”
    “Since Summers’ is almost gone, can Winters be far behind?”
    “Seasons change, dear.”
    “I can already feel Winters’ chill at my back.”
    And of course Mason’s final say in it, “I’ve always been a [Summers/Winters] person myself” depending on his final choice.
    And so on…

    Once again, only Les Moore is allowed to enjoy life at all. Everyone else is beset by worries, fears, idiot bosses, and the constant shadow of failure that looms over everything.

  4. SpacemanSpiff85

    @beckoningchasm:
    I think we can also look forward to Cindy telling Funky about how she walked in on Mason walking in a winter wonderland.

  5. billytheskink

    “Legions of Starbuck Jones fans”

    That’s a knee-slapper. TB hasn’t been this funny in years. YEARS.

  6. I’m not sure “cute” is the word I’d use to describe someone who looks like a drag queen impersonator of Catherine Zeta-Jones circa Chicago , but hey, whatever rubs your Buddha.

  7. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Wait. Is this coming from Buddybrog Studios or wherever Wool Hat and Scarf Boy does the morning announcements? Cindy looks about 15 today. In spite of that, look for endless whining about how old she is after Masonn Jar kicks her to the curb in favor of Marianne Whoever.

    Yeah, like we don’t see that coming. Jesus.

  8. SpacemanSpiff85

    Batiuk really cannot mention Starbuck Jones without going on and on about how it’s the greatest cultural achievement in human history. It’s bizarre. Either he’s just really out of his mind and likes writing praise of his own writing, or he’s hoping some studio or comic executive reads it and offers him a huge contract to make Starbuck Jones movies or comics.

  9. SpacemanSpiff85

    I mean really, if Cindy and Mason do break up, I fully expect her parting words to him to be about how she was the luckiest gal in the multiverse to sleep with Starbuck Jones himself.

  10. @TheDiva – Yeah, I’m not sure “cute” is the right word. She kind of looks like bad Aeon Flux fan art to me.

  11. Oh, man. I must be off my game or something. I should have seen this “Oh, I’m so oooooold and he’ll leeeeeeave me” crap coming the second I was told that Starbuck had been supplied his own personal Dale Arden.

  12. ComicTrek

    Oh, wow. “Jupiter Moon.” That’s all I’m going to say.

  13. Lemme see if I got this: she’s hip and tuned in enough to be okay with someone being bi…. polar, but not enough to know that a top actress is hot? And she also works for a pop culture website where her job is to report on pop culture? This isn’t remotely credible scripting, even for a comic.

  14. It really is becoming evident that The Author’s attention is focused on his mythical Batom Comics world. Anything he does with this strip and Crankshaft is an afterthought (with occasional trolling of his readers thrown in).

  15. Jim in Wisc.

    @beckoningchasm: She reminds me a younger version of Chullo Hat’s 40 year old girlfriend.

  16. ComicBookHarriet

    @Beckoning Chasm.
    We really should have Bingo cards for this storyline. With all of your horrible Summer/Winter puns on the squares.

  17. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    Your actor boyfriend will be doing his job working alongside a beautiful Hollywood actress???!! *GASP*. This came totally out of left field for Cindy!!

  18. Chyron HR

    Either do your job professionally or stop making snide comments to the effect that you’re too good to be working there.

  19. bayoustu

    On the bright side- as if such a thing existed in the Funkyverse- things must be looking up at BuddyBlog; they appear to be using actual cameras now, as opposed to “I phones”…

  20. Jimmy

    Maybe there is a market for 1950s-era B movie schlock. I would probably go to see this drek before Deadpool.

  21. What he should do is have the background get all wavy and crap so we could have Starbuck tell us that he had a horrible dream that he was a fat slob who ran a pizza joint in Ahia.

  22. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    “Legions” of Starsuck Jones fans? Including Batty, that would be… one?

    I’m really confused. They’re still casting this thing? And writing it? And the merchandise is already in the works?

    And this movie is a real Hollywood “thing,” but Darvon and Mopey Pete have been seen going into that same schlocky straight-to-cable studio?

    Even in the funny papers, things have to make some sense at some level. This just doesn’t.

  23. Don

    Of course it will be completed – and Mason and Marianne will be together at the premiere, then the late-night talk show circuit. Never mind Brangelina; the new power couple in Hollywood is M&M.

  24. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Next: Masonn Jar, the Hollywood Movie Actor Who Was Murdered.

  25. Jimmy

    @Don:
    “M&Ms sure are tasty, just like our new tasty power couple.”

    “This M&M will melt in your hearts, not in your hands.”

    “You can satisfy your sweet tooth for romance and action by watching M&M in the hit movie Starbuck Jones. Coming soon to Cable Movie Entertainment.”

    Yeah, it needs work, but so does this strip.