Your head is much smaller in person, Ms. Schiferl

“I’m Darin Fairgood,” exclaims Durrhey Faroni, as he madly runs down a bemused Cindy Sitts in today’s strip. And, boy, has he got a recommendation for her! His old pal, Pete Persall, the recently canned former author of the Mr. Sponge comics.

Cindy, meanwhile, has no idea what Durrhey is going on about, even though she’s dating the lead in the Starbuck Jones movie, and has literally just left a conversation with Les about needing a script doctor for that comic-book-based project.

In BanTom’s ongoing War on Human Proportions, today the heads are tiny, when sometimes they’re as big as torsos. And so it goes.

And yes, I’m using a computer to generate random last names for all the characters. It’s the only way I can keep up with Tom Batiuk.

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25 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

25 responses to “Your head is much smaller in person, Ms. Schiferl

  1. Nathan Obral

    I guess Batom® totally forgot about the Dan Rather “What’s the frequency, Kenneth?” incident when coming up with today’s plot-advancing device.

    Any other human being with an IQ above nine would run away in terror and call the police if someone was lurking in a place where they were just at and then comes running after them. But it’s Tiny-Headed Darin the Fair Good, so meh.

  2. So, Tom Batiuk still can’t remember Pete Rowsdower’s real name. I seem to recall a time when Harry was quite miffed with Holly for not remembering “The Amazing Mister Sponge” (and I used that image in my latest, uh, improvement). I know it’s late in the game to expect consistency, but maybe if we pitch in and buy Mr. Batiuk some sticky notes? He could write character names on them, put them around his drawing board/Wacom tablet, and, well…

    Actually, Mr. Batiuk passed up the opportunity for a pretty good joke. I’m thinking that the Lord of the Late could confront Pete and say, “At last, Pete Reynolds, you are in my clutches!” and Pete could say, “Reynolds? Who’s Pete Reynolds?” And the Lord of the Late could say “….I’m….I’m terribly sorry, it seems I’ve been bedeviling the wrong person all this time! Wow, is my face red. Well, it is under this cowl. Um…I’ll just be going now….”

  3. Nathan Obral

    @beckoningchasm: It would probably be more practical to make a giant “It’s Pete ROBERTS, Batiuk!” sign and hang it up at the Medina Gazebo one day.

    Preferably a Saturday, as the Medina Farmers Market will start back up on Memorial Day weekend.

  4. HAnzMFG

    Yes Cindy, let’s talk about things you can’t fake, like how you can’t fake that you look like you’ve taken twelve quaaludes in the last panel.

  5. Spacemanspiff85

    Cause girls hate comics, get it?!!??!!!, part XVII.

  6. There are only two levels of comic book knowledge in Westview: 1) obsessive and 2) completely ignorant. Because there’s no such thing as casual fans, or people who only read a couple titles, or people who used to be into comic books but aren’t now, or who don’t read comic books but know the basics through pop cultural osmosis, or…

  7. Guest Page Turner Author

    She’s at Montonis all the time. How has she not met this dweeb?

    As stated earlier, again with the “Girls don’t Understand Comics!!!” It’s time for Battic to Lewis-and-Clark some other possible themes to exhibit his complete lack of understanding of how humans interact.

  8. Gyre

    So why exactly would Darin think that Pete, a comic book writer, could write a script? I don’t write speeches, that’s not my specialty. I leave that to people who spend a lot of time working on writing speeches.

    Well, besides criticizing let’s get back to what could be done. Why not have Pete’s company contacted by the studio making the movie because they recently acquired the license to Starbuck and Pete’s editors recommend that he spend some time just talking to the script writers and doing his best to give them a quick but meaningful summary of the spirit of Starbuck Jones. Show some humility by having the writers on occasion pointing out to Pete that while some ideas sound really good, using them would put them considerably over budget and that writing a movie is actually a pretty difficult process.

  9. Spacemanspiff85

    @gyre:
    You made me think of something-is Starbuck Jones out of print? Is there nobody alive who wrote it? If you want to bring in outside writer help, get someone who’s written the comic you’re adapting, not some guy who wrote a sob story memoir and has a friend who has a wife who bought Starbuck Jones for her son, and some guy who wrote another comic.
    It would be like if Marvel was having trouble with the Avengers and brought in Nicholas Sparks and the writer of Archie.

  10. John

    Darin: “Ms. Summers! I’m Darin Fairgood! I couldn’t help overhearing back there…”

    (fifteen minutes pass)

    “…I’ve got a friend, Pete, who writes comical books! Of course, being a GIRL, you have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”

    Cindy: “….um, yeah, even though I just got a guy to write for a COMIC BOOK BASED FILM ADAPTATION starring my BOYFRIEND as the LEAD CHARACTER, I obviously have no idea what a comic book is because of my gender.”

    Darin: “Well, shoot, you can’t help the accidents of nature, Ms. Su-OWWWW!”

    Cindy: “That was one. Do you want another, ass?”

    Darin: “You bloodied my nose! I was just gonna tell you that my friend writes comical books! And since all comical books are the same require the EXACT SAME THINGS movies do, he’s obviously the superio-OWWWW!”

    Cindy: “That’s two. Listen, jackass, I have it on good authority that Starbuck Jones is the ‘Downton Abbey’ of comical books. So stay away from me, prick!”

    Darin: “B-but…Pete! Sponges! Mega!”

    Cindy: “And here comes three…”

    *begins winding up*

  11. Nathan Obral

    Starbuck Jones is nothing but a rather crappy MacGuffin. There will never be any sort of backstory as to the character’s history, or that of its publication history… it’s only meant to fulfill Batom®’s absurdist comic book fantasies.

  12. So, someone who wasn’t around for the cancer party is expected to know about the idiots who prowled the halls of Westview High while she wasn’t in town to qualify as having a brain. Right, Batiuk. This sure is reality based.

  13. A HREF

    Maybe there are two Petes? There are two Harrys (Harries?)–Crazy Harry and Harry Dinkle. So there’s Pete Roberts (Mopey Pete) who still writes Superman for DC and there’s Dopey Pete who writes the amazing Mr. Sponge.

    Just like there is ski nosed Darwood and hatchet faced Darwood.

  14. Well, at least Durwood has saved Cindy the embarrassment of suggesting Les for the job – a person whose last words he heard on leaving Hollywood were “You’ll never work in this town again”. Seriously, doe he expect us to believe that the entertainment industry has such a shortage of talent that they look to acquaintances of actors for referrals?

  15. Professor Fate

    This reminds me of the last years of For Better or Worse’s initial run – ham fisted plotting with all the grace of a cinderblock to the face. And it would seem that Pete (a delicate creative flower) is going join Les in the legion of the blessed.

  16. billytheskink

    HREF’s two Pete theory makes some sense, but I’m still betting on the next John Darling flashback retconning JD’s producer as “Reed Reynolds”.

  17. @billy and HREF – Maybe TB is using the same plot device that Pete used in TAMS – Pete Reynolds and Pete Roberts are actually clones of each other.

  18. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    Uh, wait what movie are we talking about? Who’s starriing… ugh. You know at least most of the time Tom Batiuks plots are pretty straightforward. Straightforwadly bad, but still straightforward. Now, I honestly am lost in this plot. I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

  19. bigd1992

    In the spirit of $100k pyramid: “interest in comics books, paying attention to Les, enjoying sex with Funky…..” “Things you just can’t fake!”

  20. Jimmy

    Which is the evil clone? Does it really matter?

  21. From the twitter feed (Krysten)–

    Note how he drew a “good” Funky on her book. Imagine if he’d drawn Funky from the present–“And he marred my book with a picture of some fat slob!”

  22. @Professor Fate: There’s another commonality: both crimes were perpetrated by people who live in what’s essentially an echo chamber. Johnston is even more isolated and helpless than Batiuk seems to be.

  23. The Dreamer

    There is a continuity issue here. Why is Darrin introducing himself to Cindy. Doesn’t he know Cindy? He is the adopted son of her former high school principal, and the birth son of her former dear friend the sainted Lisa. Never mind that he grew up in Westview. How does he not know Cindy? Cindy wasn’t at his wedding?

  24. The

    Why is Darrin introducing himself? Is it even possible that Cindy doesn’t know him, given that his adopted father is her old high school principal, and his birth mother is her former dear friend the Sainted Lisa? Darrin has never met Cindy?!