Mr. Clean, the band box man!

If he can’t fix it, no one can! In today’s strip, we finally meet Mr. Clean. Oh, sure, we thought his name was Keith, but drawings don’t lie.

To keep the townsfolk from organizing a posse, Funky tapes up a scrawled sign: “The BAND is in rehab.” But I say no, no, no, no, no.

It’s nice to see Funky Winkerbean featuring so prominently in the comic strip that bears his name. He appears as often as Snowball, his car.

Here endeth my stint as your guest snarker. Thanks to TFH and the rest of the SOSF crew for making it easy!

19 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

19 responses to “Mr. Clean, the band box man!

  1. Epicus Doomus

    “Rehab”…oh, I get it, what with those “rock bands” and their booze and dope and such. Clever. Love the hand-lettered sign haphazardly taped up like that, just classic FW right there.

    “Yep, about a month. Things are just crazy around here, so many band boxes, not enough time”…things no one said, ever. I’d look into maybe finding a new band box guy, this Keith dude is clearly some sort of slacker. he’ll probably bill Funky for a lot of unnecessary work too, I know how those band box repairmen operate.

  2. crm114

    Maybe Funky should get that ugly growth on his chin checked out.

  3. Nathan Obral

    Seven days to tediously tell a story that could have been a two-day throwaway gag at the most.

    Because life, according to Batom®, is boring and pointless.

  4. Guest Page Turner Author

    I especially enjoy how Keith was able to examine the band box and give an estimated time to finish the job (and presumably a price) without even taking the damn thing out of the back of the car.

  5. Rembrandt36

    Funky is SMILING! No Les around…

  6. SpacemanSpiff85

    Did the box roll around on the drive there? Because it was clearly laid flat when they left. It could be that Batiuk just doesn’t pay attention to what he did the previous day, but that seems like a stretch.

  7. And the nice thing is, Funky can reuse the sign when he relapses and has to go in for detox.

  8. SpacemanSpiff85

    That also must have been one realllly long trip. The rest of Crazy’s hair is white now.

  9. Epicus Doomus

    Coming soon: While visiting Montoni’s to meet with Les regarding the coming reunion, a recently-released from rehab Barry Balderman sees Funky’s crude sign and believes it’s a joke directed at him. He sneaks off to the men’s room and tries to hang himself with his belt but Les discovers him and GETS HIM TO A HOSPITAL in time, much to his regret as it would have made for a hell of a book.

    “What? No band box? F*ck this, let’s go to Centerville instead”. “Hey, let’s talk to that fat old depressing guy who works here and ask him about that stupid thing that used to be on the wall”. “Oh man, another beloved constant in my life is gone! Onward marches the inexorable tide called time!”. All fairly unlikely IMO.

  10. 1. Batiuk was so pleased with his “Band in Rehab” quip he constructed almost a week’s worth of strips just to get there.

    2. Funky is looking like some type of dinosaur in those second and third panels.

  11. Charles

    “People are going to wonder where the Band Box is.”

    No they aren’t. Shut up.

  12. I’ll tell you what they’d be wondering in the real world where contemporary young adults live. They’d be wondering why they have to suffer through eating bad pizza in a depressing setting while having to look at some cheesy toy band box when other places have a flat-screen showing something that could take their minds off of the fact that they could get a better pizza from 7-11.

  13. Also, would it kill people here to learn how to put up a sign that doesn’t look like it was made and put up by children or stoners?

  14. A HREF

    Funky’s head is ginormous in panel three. And in panel four he looks like he has a big chaw of tobacco in his cheek.

  15. Wow, you have to give it to TB (and I wish someone would) on this one. While I don’t think anyone would really notice the missing band box that doesn’t play anyway; TB could have said “The Band is on Tour” as opposed to more depressing “rehab.” But I guess when your view of the world is one of despair, positive thoughts don’t flow.

  16. John

    Harry: “Mother’s Day. People are going to wonder where we are.”

    Funky: “I take it by ‘people’ you mean our wives and offspring, some of whom seem to have vanished down the memory hole, while others de-age, re-age, and vary wildly in appearance?”

    Harry: “Yeah, them. The woman who lives in my house and that weird girl who claims I spent her college funds on comical books…for some reason they seemed UPSET when I left at 6AM this morning to eat pizza, drink coffee, and obsess on the bandbox. Then I looked at the calendar. It’s Mother’s Day, apparently.”

    Funky: *mumble mutter gripe* “So why isn’t there a FATHER’S DAY, huh?!?”

    Harry: “Um, I’m pretty sure there is.”

    Funky: “Oh. Oh yeah. That day in June I take my Pops to the Westview Mall food court, then ignore him when he whines about how I’ve ordered food he can’t handle.”

    Harry: “Are you going to put up a sign or anything?”

    Funky: “I suppose I should…”

    MOTHERHOOD IS FOREVER, BUT BANDBOXES AREN’T. THAT’S WHY.

    Harry: “….”

    Funky: “So, want to swing by Les’ place? He’s warming up the VCR for Lisa’s video taped for this year’s Mother’s Day without her.”

    Harry: “Weren’t those videos taped for Summer?”

    Funky: “Who?”

    **********************************************

    Donna: “Let me get this straight….he’s spent the entire day doing WHAT?!?”

    Donna: “…..”

    Donna: “….I…I…”

    (The poor woman breaks down completely, sobbing)

    *******************************************************************

    Holly: “Oh, good. A Sunday completely to myself.”

    Holly: “….”

    Holly: “JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER SUNDAY FOR THE PAST TEN YEARS.”

    (Holly sheds a single, perfect tear)

  17. Epicus Doomus

    Happy (?) Mother’s Day! We got off easy this year. The strip above ran right in the middle of the infamous SSC prom arc, too.

  18. @Bill: Five’ll getcha ten that Bathack thinks he’s being all relevant and edgy instead of being a depressing old coot whining about how everything’s turning to shit.

  19. Bmil

    This is so great!!! I know and have eaten at this restaurant many times (I now live in Kansas City), have always loved the band box and put coins in the juke box just to watch the band box curtain open up and enjoy the band play, and have known the mystery man, Mr Clean / Keith, since I was 13 years old and yes, he can look at a juke box/band box, pin ball machine, and tell you what is wrong with it and how long it will take to fix it….and he is all of that and more…Super Keith / Mr Clean rocks, the band box rocks, Akron rocks, and so does Funky Winkergean and Mondelos!!! bmil