Mary Sue, Meet Marty Stu

Link to today’s strip.

I don’t suppose it could be said often, or loudly, enough:  THERE’S NO NEED FOR CONTACTS–YOU SEE THESE PEOPLE EVERYDAY.

And, once again, despite all his whining and complaining and moaning about having to be on the reunion committee, someone else has done Les’ job for him.  Will that stop the whining, complaining and moaning long enough for Les to offer a simple “Thank you”?  Of course not.  Les doesn’t thank anyone.  Hmph, if anything, they should be thanking him.  Here they are, bathing in his presence and all they can do is give him grief for not being a shallow teenager.  How he suffers!

By my count, Les has done exactly nothing to help prepare for the reunion.   Perhaps that makes him wiser than the others in a real-world sense, but it still makes me want to slap him.  Of course, that’s natural to feel anytime Les shows up.

And, with Les “leading” the committee, the Coming Reunion is certain to become a Lesfest.    Hey, remember Lesfest ’12?  Totally awesome.  I got completely blitzed on nachos, man, and they had the widescreen TV wheeled in.  Woo-hoo!  Good times, man.

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17 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

17 responses to “Mary Sue, Meet Marty Stu

  1. SpacemanSpiff85

    “Uh, Les, we’ve been working on this for a while before you got here. Of course we’ve got the contacts already. Idiot.”

  2. Man, check out the sneer on Mary Sue’s face. That’s a look that says, “Yeah, I may have put on a few pounds since my salad days but at least I have people willing to friend me on Facebook, unlike someone I could name.”

  3. Epicus Doomus

    BanTom’s vendetta against the “popular” and/or “hot” girls from high school kicks into overdrive today as he turns Mary Sue into a horrifying funhouse goblin for some reason. I guess he’s trying to be hilariously “ironic” or something, but IMO it mostly comes across as bitter and more than a little mean. I’m also assuming that if Lisa had lived she’s probably be working as a supermodel by now.

    And once again we see Batiuk tossing around registered trademarks like it’s no big deal. I guess it’s because it’s SATIRE, right BamTon? What a dick.

  4. Guest Page Turner Author

    So why is there a committee if all the classmates have already been contacted via Facebook, except the esteemed chairman? Couldn’t Mary Sue McJunebug Baldguy just post on Facebook to have everyone meet at Montonis on June 12 and be done with the planning?

    side note: The only person more annoying than the constant facebooking middle aged frump is that middle aged dork that constantly states that he is “holier than thou” because he’s too good for Facebook.

    That’s you Les! (By the way, if you were on FB you might know what happened to that daughter you sent away to college 3 years ago)

  5. Nathan Obral

    That second panel… either Mary Sue has an unchecked thyroid disorder, or Jay Leno must be taking retirement harder than any of us thought.

  6. Nathan Obral

    @Guest Page Turner Author:

    side note: The only person more annoying than the constant facebooking middle aged frump is that middle aged dork that constantly states that he is “holier than thou” because he’s too good for Facebook.

    That’s you Les! (By the way, if you were on FB you might know what happened to that daughter you sent away to college 3 years ago)

    I’m pretty sure that Summer would block her dad on Facebook. In fact, everyone in Westview would block Les. And he knows it.

    Now, Batom® could have saved today’s strip by having St. Les the Righteous Smirker say, “Well… Summer helped me set up a MySpace account back in 2009, and everyone left…”

  7. And of course, Batiuk’s isolation from the real world blinds him to what an arrogant, entitled knob Les is. Not only is Barry wondering why they let that smug, lazy jerk be valedictorian when he earned the right, it’s sort of stupid watching Les have another victory handed to him because he’s pathetic.

  8. sgtsaunders

    Les has hated Mary Sue since their days at Kent State when Mary Sue was a scholarship linebacker and Les was a scholarship douchenozzle.

  9. Who needs Facebook? We can just set up a geocities page with all the reunion information on it and post the link on the bulletin board at Montoni’s.

  10. @Epicus Doomus: Then again, almost everyone has to be older, fatter and frumpier than Les. So it’s not just popular girls.

  11. billytheskink

    The bespectacled woman with the blonde houseplant on her head seems to be doing OK for a member of this graduating class. Who is she?

    She has Act I character Carrie’s large curly hair-do but the blonde locks of that other girl who also followed Cindy around in high school and whose name I can’t remember. Is she a fusion of Cindy’s Act I entourage?

  12. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    What a coincidence…We the audience are still waiting to see if Funky Winkerbean is going to make it.

  13. Charles

    Wasn’t there a strip where Funky also claimed to not be on Facebook? He was too busy living in the real world or something.

    Then again, if the reunion panel completely forgot about him, that would make sense too.

  14. John

    Mary Sue: “So tell me, Les…everyone, and I mean -EVERYONE- else in town turned into bloated, wrinkled, swollen, misshapen, ugly trolls and hags. How come you’re the only man in town who aged with dignity?”

    Les: “….*…I wasn’t done ranting about how evil, worthless, and pointless social media is, Mary.”

    Mary Sue: “QUIT STALLING AND TELL!”

    Les: “….”

    Mary Sue: “Count of three, guys. Then we jump him, hold him down…make him TALK.”

    Les: “Well, it definitely -isn’t- that I’m actually a Reptoid alien from the planet Dracos who killed and ate the actual Les Moore over a decade ago.”

    Mary Sue: “Well, that’s a reli….*….WHAT?!?”

    Les: “Damn. Cover blown. No choice now but this-”

    (Les’ face splits, right down the middle. What follows becomes unspeakable…)

  15. captaincab

    Ugh, just look at that woman’s hideous face with her heaving jowls in panel 2 threatening to absorb Les like the Blob (one of Steve McQueen’s first leading roles, quick random factoid). Meanwhile, Cindy is inexplicably and conveniently ensconced in the beauty of a 30 year old’s youthful, vibrant face and dating a young movie star while the rest of her generation turns into bloated bags of skin with saggy, morose visages.

  16. John

    Have you seen Cindy lately? In the most recent strips, she’s drawn like Wally wearing a blond wig.

  17. captaincab

    ^^^^

    I was mainly talking about how Cindy looked during her date story with Mason and Buddy Blog. But Wally Wig’esque or not, she still looks way younger than those hags at Les’ table.