Band of Old

“Nope, your Dad’s a terrible trombone player, Funky. But hey, d’you remember that back in January he was using a wheelchair to get around? Well, get a load of him now! Not only is ol’ Mort on his feet, but I’ve got him schlepping music stands!”



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

29 responses to “Band of Old

  1. Yeah, the residents of an assisted living facility would make a great road crew.

  2. By the way, have they hauled in a new set of balloons, or are the ones they had earlier now sickly and dying?

  3. SpacemanSpiff85

    You are such a terrible son, Funky.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    So a stunned Funky inquires about his dad’s participation in this idiocy (suggested by his own wife, no less) and Dinkle replies with a snide cackling put-down of Mort’s abilities (even though his recovery is nothing short of miraculous). Yup, sounds about right. Man do I hate that Dinkle guy. Also note how he isn’t even bothering to help with the set-up either.

  5. Nathan Obral

    “I didn’t know that Tom Batiuk was a competent cartoonist! He’d have to in order to be nationally syndicated through King Features AND be a Pulitzer nominee!”

    “Trust me… he’s not.”

  6. Nathan Obral

    For a decrepit 90-something father who took up smoking so as to hasten his demise from terminal cancer, being in Goddam Dinkle’s Goddam Old Folks Band® seems to have been a source of eternal youth for the elder Winkerbean not named Funky.

    This strip is but Exhibit Q in why Batiuk is literally mailing it in until Brendan Buford hands him that gold watch in March 2022.

  7. JerrytheMacGuy

    Holly did not have to make the desperate call for “Harry Dinkle and the Dinklettes” to play at the woebegone class reunion. A top DJ to spin records was also ready and available at Bedside Manor:

    Dr. Dementia.

  8. Epicus Doomus

    Batiuk ought to be ashamed of himself. He milked Funky’s dad’s dementia for cheap pathos and now he’s just another “hilarious” senior doing “wacky” things as if the whole thing never happened. If he ever wonders what (else) he’s done to deserve such scorn, look no further than crap like this.

  9. Nathan Obral

    Funky’s ghastly face in the second panel looks like it was compressed with a vise. You can’t fault St. Holly the Combustible Majorette if she accidentally takes Morton home instead of the Funk Man when the evening is over.

  10. Rusty

    Funky will be forced to spend more time with his dad in this one evening than he has spent in the last 6 months.

  11. Jimmy

    I will say this about Les compared to Dinkle: he is at least depicted as a character with human frailty who sometimes embarrasses himself. Harry Dinkle is just a dick.

  12. He’s always been a dick. He’s also always been a typical Batiuk teacher: a smug, bitter, condescending dick who has no business being in a position of authority because he doesn’t know what he’s doing and who blames the unfortunates he’s been assigned to teach for his own massive ineptitude.

    Meanwhile, it’s funny because once again Cindy will be made out to be an unreasonable bitch because she calls Les out on his pants-on-head stupidity and lack of taste.

  13. Rusty Shackleford

    Dinkle can’t help with the set up efforts, his hands are a national treasure!

  14. An amateur group made up of nursing home inmates who only started playing a few months ago and who NEVER had a gig before now has their own personalized bandstand? There’s your quarter-inch from reality right there.

  15. I notice we haven’t seen Cindy at all. I suspect she flew into town, saw that the reunion was being held in the gym against her express wishes, and is now sad at the gazebo. She’s not sad because the reunion’s in the gym, she’s sad because she’ll have to praise Les and she doesn’t want to do that, because she’s a terrible person.

  16. captaincab

    Last night before bed I read a bunch of Bloom County and Foxtrot strips from my collections and I thought to myself, “Wow, these are such a joy to read and look at, shame my mind will be exposed to a new FW tomorrow.”

    I knew Funky’s dad was confined to a wheelchair obviously, but he had terminal cancer too? So basically cancer and other serious ailments like HEARING LOSS are only to be treated with awe and respect when it’s St. Lisa.

    Also, Holly was revealed in 2004 to be the secret admirer who left an anonymous note on Funky’s locker when he was in high school, but for some reason I had no idea until this week’s “plot” she was also THE Holly the majorette from the old days.

  17. billytheskink

    “BM”, what an interesting acronym for an assisted living facility and probably a fair description of what this band sounds like.

    So this is the BM band’s first gig ever, and they already have BM-branded music stands? Were they really expecting to play gigs and actually had these stands made… or are we just seeing Dinkle’s imagination rip off Cab Calloway’s “Minnie The Moocher” scene in the The Blues Brothers?

  18. Jim in Wisc.

    They now have branded orchestra fronts, but only a couple weeks ago they were getting old, hand-me-down instruments from the local high school. Just more proof that Batty isn’t even trying to make sense anymore. Makes me wonder if it isn’t time for him to check into the real-life equivalent of Bedside Manor.


    How could you not know your father is a musician, Funky? Both of you should be talking more frequently since you both appear to be the same effing age!!

  20. Jim in Wisc.

    @Nathan Obral: I think what Batiuk is shooting for is the rarely given Gold T-Square from the Nat’l. Cartoonists Society (of Reuben Awards fame), given for 50 years as a professional cartoonist. He would be only the third person to win it (the others being Rube Goldberg and Mort Walker). By now he has to realize that the NCS will never give him any of their other awards, so his only hope to get them to honor him is to churn out dreck until he’s 74 years old. I’d be willing to bet he’s already polishing his acceptance speech and has already built a special shelf in his house for the award.

  21. Smirks 'R Us

    Quality snarking today. Big laughs from top to bottom. Of course it’s easier with material like this to work with. I get great pleasure picturing BatHack spitting fire at his tube-style monitor as his genius gets skewered here.

  22. Rusty Shackleford


    Bloom County was one of my favorites, along with Calvin and Hobbes. These strips found a nice balance and even when they were about serious issues, they still had some humor and cleverness.

    FW and FBOFW had none of that–just preachy, condescending crap and endless misery. At least Johnston had the sense to retire, Batty will be cashing checks until he is dragged away from his drawing board kicking and screaming.

  23. @Rusty Shackleford You post reminded me about the 2012 Promageddon storyline, which was one of the worst pieces of garbage in the history of comics. And I support gay rights! If Batiuk is a quarter-inch away from reality, FUNKY WINKERBEAN doesn’t show it.

  24. Rusty Shackleford


    Promageddon is a great example of what I am talking about. It was so contrived and forced–but then again, he was only doing this story to impress the Pulitzer Prize committee.

  25. Epicus Doomus

    On one hand, the elderly are adorable old coots with snappy senses of humor and on the other they’re tragic figures ravaged by the inevitability of age. Just a few years ago Pa Bean was completely gone and it wasn’t being played for chuckles. Now he’s enthusiastically worked up over “gigs”. Not a word about his miraculous recovery as once again TB just ignores his own history as he sees fit.

    And how was Holly aware of the Bedside Players and not Funky? She knew Mort was learning the trombone and his own son wasn’t? How is that even possible?

  26. captaincab

    @Rusty Shackleford

    Agreed. To me, the best comics to rise from the 80s are Calvin and Hobbes, Bloom County, the Far Side and Foxtrot, those are the cream of the crop and never get old.

    And doubly agreed on FBoFW. It was enjoyable in its earlier years then became about as insufferable in its characterizations and “drama” as FW.

  27. Epicus Doomus

    Jim in Wisc.: very interesting and IMO probably 100% true. Again IMO he’s just in it for the accolades now. He knows no one actually follows it other than us and it drives him nuts. He LIKED being under the radar as it enabled him to essentially fake it. It’s one of the weirdest entertainment phenomenons that I can think of (and I’m into some pretty weird and obscure shit).

  28. SpacemanSpiff85

    I want to like FBoFW. Maybe it wasn’t always so terrible. I read it on GoComics, though, and it seems like the point of literally every strip is either “John is horrible and hates his wife” or “Elly is in a murderous rage because of one of her children”.

  29. @SpacemanSpiff85: It later evolved to “Mike is a self-centered choad”, “Liz is so passive, she qualifies as a potted plant” and “April is bad because despite the disaster being the result of Elly’s chronic stupidity and criminal negligence, SHE killed Farley the punching-bag of a dog.”