Monday, Aug. 10

Today’s strip was not available for preview, but I had a dream last night that my newspaper replaced FW with Cul-De-Sac reruns.

Alas, I awoke to find FW in its typical place between Crankshaft and F-Minus and then had to read Lio online.

As FW strips go… it was a FW strip… but there weren’t any laughs.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

21 responses to “Monday, Aug. 10

  1. It’s Funky Winkerbean. Count on it to be pure crap.

    By merely drawing a salary from King Features Syndicate, Tom Batiuk is the Bernie Madoff of the newspaper comics industry.

  2. DOlz

    Well I never would have seen this happening. That is if I were blind and it was happening on the other side of the planet.

  3. Oh so predictable. Boy Lisa the Fair Good Grief (in a Montoni’s uni) blathering about The Stupid Starfuck Jones Movie with Mopey Pete Rolaids.

    Why is Tom Batiuk gainfully employed? Seriously.

  4. That Starbuck Jones movie is really going to suck. They’re getting the worst people ever to work on it. The only way it could be worse would be if they got Les to direct and star.

  5. Gyre

    Let’s not forget that after working on the high school newspaper, I don’t think Darin did any professional work or took any classes in art until Les got him to do the graphic novel. And his work in that newspaper was about what you’d expect of a high schooler, nothing amazing.

    Going over the exact events, this all sounds like a tell-all interview about how a film failed. The leading actor got a guy hired to write the script based on nothing more than the guy writing comic books and the actor’s girlfriend mentioned him. Once there the guy gets his friend hired to do the storyboards even though that’s got nothing to do with what that friend spent most of his time after high school doing. Next they’ll bring a small town teacher in to work on the script even after that teacher walked away from the last script he was given and misused legal terms to do it.

  6. Gyre

    Oh, in case you missed it, far as I can tell the class reunion just ended on depressing failure. Went from a surprisingly good idea to poor execution and depressing ending. Which is why I’m not going easy on this.

  7. Epicus Doomus

    Ugh…Boy Lisa. The character you always forget about until you see him again and say “ugh…Boy Lisa”. I thought he already had the storyboard (got to love that Hollywood lingo) gig, but I guess they have to talk about it for a solid week to make it “official”. I could actually see Batiuk writing him out of the strip now, as his Lisa fetish seems to have waned and there’s really no point in keeping him around anymore unless he has more “bio-son” arcs in mind.

  8. Jimmy

    @Gyre: the part about Les becoming the script doctor will, unfortunately, come true.

    But Darrin can’t leave. Who else is going to maintain the pizza app or work the morning shift serving breakfast pizza?

  9. SpacemanSpiff85

    I’m always amazed how Batiuk will do this over and over and over. Where he repeats something extremely boring that’s already been established, without any kind of drama or humor to it. He must think somewhere there are readers on the edge of their seat, having found out that Darrin might be doing storyboards for SJ. The only people I can imagine who would be are prisoners serving life sentences, and that’s largely because reading FW would make their situation seem better by comparison.

  10. @Gyre: Having read “The Disaster Artist,” Greg Sestero’s memoir of making “The Room” and his bizarre relationship with Tommy Wiseau, I don’t think Starbuck Jones has what it takes to reach that level of trainwreck fascinaton.

  11. Les Moore… Script Doctor Kevorkian. I like the sound of that.

    Any studio dumb enough to hire Les for anything after scamming a little-known cable network out of hundreds of thousands of dollars deserves to go under.

    It would be just desserts for Mason Jarr The Movie Actor to be humiliated out of Hollywood once The Stupid Starfuck Jones Movie bombs horribly. Hey, maybe Mason Jarr The Movie Actor will work at Montoni’s while Cindy gets burned out at buddyblog and Michael Dukakis’s crew, heading back to Westview as the new speech/mass media teacher.

    Les, Mopey Pete the Mopster and Darrrrrrrrin the Boy Lisa will come out of it scott free to varying degrees. Principal Nate Green will do his Officer Barbrady impersonation and not even bat an eye over how Les left his students behind for a prolonged period of time… yet again.

  12. ComicTrek

    Still, nothing’s going to happen. The movie probably won’t even BE at all. These guys will probably quit on the film mid-production because of, you know, Hollywood. (“Lust For Sponge”. Appealing, no?)

    Or if there IS a movie, the finished product will end up as a total disaster to either their audience, the movie critics, and/or their own “integrity” and “principles”.

    (*yawn*) Next.

  13. Oh, dear. More meaningless padding that ends in depressing (and easily avoidable) failure so that a burnt-out old fool can hammer away witlessly at a weak and silly idea. Yesterday, we lurched to a stomach-churning conclusion of yet another arc that would have us weep for a man whom nothing ever good happens that had Batiuk unintentionally reveal that it’s Les’s own damned fault that his life is an endless disaster. Today, we begin another arc that has some big HOLLYWOOD!!!! project collapse because the horrible people of today aren’t being ‘true’ to the idiotic source material of the past. The Mythbusters might have been able to polish a turd but they couldn’t make Starbuck Jones or the Big Book About How Lisa’s Preventable Death Is All About Me watchable.

  14. bad wolf

    @Gyre–Oh boy. Here’s a fun(ner) game; look at some of the reviews and damage control surrounding last week’ls Fantastic Four movie and assume that’s how Starbuck Jones is going to be received.

  15. Mister Miggle

    I’m still laughing at the biggest FW joke of the past few months: Les Moore’s Overentitiled Summer Adventure for 2015 was passing out on the gym floor.

  16. Merry Pookster

    well…..Summer is nearly over.
    Summer Moore that is.


    Ah, the return of the solid gold jukebox. It’s the only interesting thing in these strips.

  18. billytheskink

    So here I was, readin’ the comics page, and then suddenly it turned into the dictionary entry for “smarmy”…

  19. bad wolf

    The other problem with an “it was all a dream” is that then you start appending it as the ending for every new plot development (using the term pretty loosely here, i realize).

    “Hey, why don’t you come out to Hollywood?” –> “It was all a dream!”

  20. Professor Fate

    Boy Lisa, Starbuck Jones, Mopey Peter – feel the excitement.

  21. Gotta get me some paint & watch it dry. It’ll be less predictable than the latest from Mopey & Dopey the Pizza App Guy. Will there be drips? Will a falling leaf stick to or mar the paint? Where will they hang the “Wet Paint” sign? Stay tuned for the next thrilling installment!