Conversion Therapy

Guest Page Turner Author

September 7, 2015 at 11:30 pm
Crazy Harry, the downsized mailman from her Dad’s peer groups, is the one to digitize these tapes? The man who works in a comic shop, worships 1950s Bandboxes, and seems to have all disparage for any technology beyond 1975?

So many questions! Here’s mine: has Summer even approached Crazy Harry about “converting these tapes to video” (and you mean “converting to digital”, sweetie; they’re already video)?  Or does she plan on just strolling into the Komix Korner with the Sacred Box o’ Tapes and bid Crazy get busy? Readers know that this box–and it’s just one box, not a steamer trunk?–contains hour upon hour of Lisa lectures: is Crazy Harry getting paid for this task? “Psh!” says Les. “Are you kidding?” Who would decline such an honor? He’ll do it and be damn glad about it too!


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

24 responses to “Conversion Therapy

  1. “Converting tapes to video”

    Wow. Plenty of white space there to put in “digital,” though I suspect Summer means “DVD.” After all, now that DVD is being ushered out, it’s time for it to become acceptable in the Funkyverse.

    And I’m going to assume that, as a Moore, Summer expects Harry to do this for free, and immediately.

  2. SpacemanSpiff85

    Marvel at the Lord of Language at work.

  3. Gyre

    So, Summer has a job converting VHS tapes to digital that she needs done. Well let’s think about this one.

    She could go to Jessica, someone with actual established experience with film who would probably at least know where Summer should go even if Jessica couldn’t do it herself and is under the age of forty, actually close to those young adults that this comic is supposed to be about.

    Well obviously the correct answer is J- I’m sorry, I’ve just been handed this note. Well, ladies and gentlemen, apparently the writer can’t remember his own characters and has just randomly chosen Crazy Harry. That’s right, Crazy Harry. A man known for really liking comic books, having awful luck with the US Postal Service, is at least in his late fifties and is so weird that he’s called Crazy Harry.

  4. Frank Bolton

    If this was leading up to a plot twist where Summer was bullshitting her dad and just intended to destroy all of the tapes, it’d undo years of my hating her twee Good Tomboy Daughter act.

  5. “Hey, Summer, while you’re at it, ask Crazy Harry about that stupid time pool he kept talking about after graduating from high school…”

  6. Epicus Doomus

    So she hasn’t even asked him yet? Does she just assume that Harry will leap at the chance to digitize those stupid tapes? And if so, why? Believe it or not Summer, not everyone sits around all day waiting for the opportunity to remember Lisa yet again.

  7. I wonder what happens if Crazy Harry says no. Probably Summer will go around and ask the other five people in town if they can do it.

  8. billytheskink

    Maybe “video”is not a typo here. Maybe Summer has unearthed a cache of audio cassettes that Lisa recorded for her and is having Crazy transcribe them and then film himself reading them back doing his dead-on Lisa impression.

    Unlikely? Perhaps, but does it make any less sense than anything else that has happened in this strip over the past 5 years?

  9. ComicTrek

    Speaking of “visual”, aaaaaghhhhhh!!! I don’t know if it was just my eyes or what, but the color of Les’s shirt made it seem like he wasn’t wearing one at all! The unspeakable horror of it and the writing combined…

  10. Let me guess. Since the point of this must be that a technology that terrifies a young adult like Batiuk is scary and evil and wrong, he’ll prove it by having Crazy be a thumb-fingered nitwit who doesn’t listen to Summer because she’s not a young adult but is instead a grandchild.

  11. A HREF

    How about the punch line?
    “Happier than a pig in slop?”
    “Thanks for the visual”
    Tom Batiuk, ladies and gentlemen.

  12. Also, the only ending I’d actually like is if the first tape Summer used was one addressed to Harry that said Lisa say “As you know, Les is a pompous, oblivious and thumb-fingered imbecile who couldn’t work a cell phone without looking like he was engaging in hand-to-hand combat. To make up for his inevitably destroying these tapes by trying to put them on DVD himself, I’d had actual professionals do it and put them in a safety deposit box. The keys are in the charm bracelet Summer has in her own safety deposit box.”

  13. Tom, it’s one thing to call your strips’s main character call himself the Lord of Language. It’s another to have the readers go, “Oh, Lord!” at your crappy punchlines.

  14. I am still puzzled as to why Harry but converting tapes to DVD’s is not hard. I’ve done it. You just need to buy a vhs/dvd player and play the tapes and have a blank DVD and press a button. Then finalize. But if she wants to do it this way then Jessica would make more sense or go to kent state.

  15. I’m puzzled as to why Lisa recorded everything on VHS. If she died in 2007, VHS was a pretty dead format at that point, and the ability to record to DVD was well advanced. There were all kinds of digital cameras to record directly to AVI or MPG back then, too. The technology–oh. That’s the word that killed it. Ah, that explains it all.

  16. Rusty Shackleford

    We see Crazy Harry smoking a fatty in letterhead. The next panel us clouded in smoke as Harry operates the dubbing equipment. We clearly see him hit record. Oh crap, he erased everything.

    Next panel we see Les watching the DVD. Harry is in drag trying to imitate Lisa. Les calls Harry: “cmon over, oh and bring your Lisa outfits”. He hangs up the phone and we see a big smirk on his face.

    Or instead, he could do a one panel Sunday painting of Crazy “becoming Lisa” with a tip of the felt tip to the cast of “Transparent “. Topical, relevant, and possibly funny!


    Um, she is going to pay Harry to do this work, right? I do a bit of VHS conversion at my job and it’s not a quick task. It does take some time and effort. I really hope Summer is not going to guilt Harry into doing this. Cause that might be the lowest way of using your dead mother to get free stuff I have ever seen.

  18. Jimmy

    @Gyre Hahaha at the suggestion of Jessica doing this. She’s female, don’t you know?

    @$$$WESTVIEWONCOLOGIST$$$ The most offensive part of this is Harry won’t even get a dime from this.

    Oh, that’s right, he gets the satisfaction of honoring Dead Lisa.

  19. There’s a place here that does conversions–I think they say for about $12 a tape. I’m sure Summer has about $500 worth of tapes, so…

    Actually, I can see the outcome. Summer breezes into Komix Korner with her tapes and her request.

    Harry: “Summer, I wish you’d called…you know, using that thing called a ‘phone.’ I don’t have the time or resources to do this. I’m working part-time in a comic book store, while your dad has Hollywood money to burn.”

    Summer starts to sniffle.

    Harry: “Well, okay, I’ll do it for about $10 a tape, when I have the time.”

    Summer: “But Lisa–my mom–died. She died of cancer!”

    Harry: “Okay, I’ll do it right now, for free!”

    Actually, since the Moores are considered gods in Westview, I’m sure none of that will happen–Harry will just up and do it and be done in a day.

  20. Mister Miggle

    The punchline: Les Moore’s trite similes are a family embarrassment.

  21. By the way, shouldn’t this car be covered in spray paint?

  22. gleeb

    Covered in spray paint? Probably just a dream.

  23. Monotony

    So DSL’s video legacy is the “slop” in this analogy, right?

  24. Charles

    So Batiuk has actually turned “Summer gets her video tapes converted to DVD” into a storyline. That premise is carrying the entire narrative. He screws it up today with Summer not having asked Crazy before she trundles that shit down to his… house? workplace? to demand that favor. So he comes up with a ludicrous slip of a pretext for a storyline and he still can’t handle it properly.

    It would be interesting if Les decided that Summer can’t possibly destroy the tapes even though she has digital copies because *THOSE HAVE TOUCHED LISA’S HANDS*, leading to an analysis of just how fucked up this whole thing is, and how unhealthy Les’s and Summer’s behavior is. But that won’t happen, because, as I noted earlier, Batiuk doesn’t believe that Les is absurdly devoted to his wife’s memory. He’s as devoted to it as he should be.

    Although, to be honest, looking at that packing box filled to the brim with video tapes that Lisa made while she was dying, Les and Summer aren’t the only mental cases in this story.