Hi snarkers! Please enjoy today’s strip. Monday heralds the return of the snark stylings of billytheskink, and not a day too soon.
Filed under Son of Stuck Funky
Tagged as Funky, Holly
If you had so much to do, Holly, maybe you should have told Funky that Cory was coming home before today.
“A lot to do”…”hide the valuables and prescription drugs”. Seriously, this is just cruel, what the hell does she “need” to do at four in the morning? And doesn’t it seem like Cory comes home an awful lot? Is this normal?
And that punchline….huh? I guess he’s referring to the way old TVs had a “vertical hold” setting, but I only know that because I’m old. In one way this strip was a success, however, as it genuinely made me feel bad for poor, poor Funky. And that’s not easy.
And doesn’t it seem like Cory comes home an awful lot? Is this normal?
Depends on how Cory is spending his accrued leave. Cory’s schedule is possible if he literally spends all of his time going home rather than using it to go on staycations and/or trips with his squadmates or even Rocky — you know, stuff that most of my military buddies did. I mean, they did go home to family for big events, but to have this many trips Corey pretty much needs to be doing nothing else. Which kind of paints a different picture of the guy, eh?
When Tom Batiuk controls both the horizontal and vertical, the result is typically awful.
Howard and Nester: Thanks for that answer. I mean yeah, he’s what, twenty years old or so? It’ll be even less plausible if he has Rocky in tow again. And with everything else he has pending, why bring Cory home now? Save that crap for the holidays.
If they were using a boat to measure how idiotic this episode is, they’re gonna need a bigger boat.
Unless Cory’s flight arrives at five, I don’t know what couldn’t have been done at a more civilized time. Apart from showing how miserable the Winkerbean marriage is, I mean.
Wow- in that wildly voluminous purple robe, Holly looks like nothing so much as “The Grimace” from the old McDonald’s commercials.
Geez – Funky looks like his Dad today. Cindy worries about looking old? Funky looks like her grandfather. I really miss the younger teenage years of this strip.
Cory is coming home to steal the cigar box of money at Lisa’s Legacy Run. Tradition runs deep in Westview.
So, Funky’s third wife will like to sleep in, right?
I’ve rambled on before about the way BanTom always skips around between stories. It’s always so random, too. And I still can’t really figure out why he does it. Does he write an arc all the way through then chop it up or does he actually write them in bit and pieces? Either possibility is totally plausible. Why does he always skip around? Does he think people will get bored and stop reading if he focuses on one character for too long? Is it a deliberate attempt to disorient readers to disguise a lack of content and to give himself the opportunity to fill a lot of time with endless rehashing? Or does he honestly think it’s just more compelling that way, like a soap opera? It’s another one of those odd quirks that makes FW so fascinatingly dull.
Great. Another boring, pointless exercise in quiet desperation filled with petty acrimony, low-key misery and language no one uses. The worst part, of course, is the padding. Back when he actually cared, TomBat could have done most of last year’s tedious twaddle in about a week or two.
Sick of that New Jersey stuff.
Cory’s coming? Again? Well, good. He’s better than another week or so of anyone else, especially Grumpy Lumperbean here.
“And that punchline….huh? I guess he’s referring to the way old TVs had a “vertical hold” setting, but I only know that because I’m old. In one way this strip was a success, however, as it genuinely made me feel bad for poor, poor Funky. And that’s not easy.”
I think he’s referring to the way the screen orientation of smartphones rotates with the position of the phone. Funky has physically gone from a horizontal position to a vertical one…now he’s just waiting for his “screen” (brain) to catch up with the position of his “phone” (body).
@Erich: that would be plausible but for Batwank’s well-known aversion to modern technology. In fact, what Funky’s saying is literally true–decades of exposure to Les Moore’s attempts at “humor” have caused his brain to shrink to the point where it floats freely in the cerebrospinal fluid within his skull. Sudden movements (like getting out of bed) jostle it around, and he knows he must then wait quietly for it to properly re-orient, lest he sever his spinal cord and become Westview’s latest casualty.
WTF does she have to do? How freaky messy is her house anyway? And isn’t Cory Funky’s step son? Where is Cory’s bio-dad?
@Epicus: I’m voting for the soap opera theory. He will lead up to what he feels is a key scene, maybe even the proverbial cliffhanger. I’m sure that he thinks the big Cindy-Mason bipolar reveal and accompanying conspiratorial tone (like, will she keep his secret just between them – she is a reporter, after all, and she could make her career breaking the story, amirite?) make it downright lip smackingly juicy, so now he quickly changes scenes to keep us all on the edge of our seats, real water cooler stuff.
Holy Crap….Old man pappy Winkerbean is banging his son’s wife
I’d also vote for the soap opera hypothesis. I’m also guessing that’s why we have the “Les watching Lisa’s video” cliffhanger. He probably thinks that we’re all waiting breathlessly to find out what divine revelation Les received from St. Lisa of the Metastacized Cancer.
Erich: Ahhh-ha, that does make sense. Definitely funnier in TB’s mind than on paper, though.
Hmm. I wonder if we’re going to have him return the money from the fun run because the Army straightened him out. Given Batiuk’s love of old movies, this could well be what we’re headed for.
@Gerard Plourde, Fred Blurt, Epicus Doomus. This is not without precedent. When Lynn Johnston went off the rails as badly has Batiuk has, she too thought that she was writing a soap opera. Then again, she also thought she was writing a column. If he ever says that, you’ll KNOW the cheese has slipped off of his cracker.