Long Arm of the Lawn

Link to today’s strip.

Or, even better, Long Yarn of the Yawn.

I remember reading Dick Tracy years ago, and a retired police chief had opened a gardening supply store named Lawn Order.  I thought that was pretty clever, as puns go.

This?  This isn’t clever.  I bet there are hundreds of tree-care folks who use this as an actual slogan.  In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me at all of Tom Batiuk was driving around, spotted this on the side of a truck, and thought Well, there’s a daily strip right there.

I don’t know what is more sad.  That Tom Batiuk did twenty years of gag-a-day strips, and thirty years of bland garbage, or that he actually thinks those thirty years are what will constitute his fame.

(Yes, in the “thirty years” I’m including from now to March, 2022.  That’s the only endpoint left here.)

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34 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

34 responses to “Long Arm of the Lawn

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Right up Batiuk’s alley.

  2. SpacemanSpiff85

    Based on this and the Sunday strip, it looks like someone got a “How to Draw 101 Vehicles” book about a year or so ago.

  3. If this is just a dumb pun…yeah, it’s a dumb pun. But if it’s also supposed to be a touching moment where everyone is bidding farewell to the Sacred Lisa Tree…well, then it’s a dumb and terribly mood-killing pun.

  4. billytheskink

    Winston Rothschild of Rothschild’s Sewage And Septic Sucking Services just read this strip. His response:

    “If you’re a comic strip artist who’s one of the smartest, you fill up your panels with great prose.
    But if delivering a pun with not one hint of fun, your work is much like what I suck up with my hose.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    BC: There used to be a lawn service around here called Lawn Ranger, seriously. There was a bookstore called The Babbling Book too.

  6. SpacemanSpiff85

    If you want puns, just look at the knitting section of any bookstore or library.

  7. Funky Washerbean

    Epicus, I’d say laundromats are the worse offenders of using awful puns for their business names. I recently spotted one that seriously calls themselves Wash Happening. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Batiuk owns shares of that company.

  8. Funky Washerbean

    Topper’s Tree Service: We get to the ROOT of your problems.

    Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! I’ll bet your kicking yourself in the ass now, Mr. Batiuk!

  9. Stunned

    Good God, how many people are going into the tree business just so they can put that pun on a business card?

  10. A HREF

    Lisa’s dead. Dead Lisa’s tree’s dead. How soon before Dead Lisa’s Dead Tree’s video tapes are unearthed to be watched by Dead Lisa’s Dead Tree’s Leaves.?

  11. Epicus Doomus

    TFH: Awesome and you found the perfect Harry pic to use too.

  12. SpacemanSpiff85

    @Funky Washerbean:
    Topper’s Tree Services: We’ll kick your ash.

  13. I gyess we should be thankful that the pace of this arc appears to be merely slow rather than glacial.

  14. ComicTrek

    Sorry, Becky.

  15. And the fact that they’re destroying a perfectly healthy tree for no other reason so that they can make maudlin noise about soul-crushing loss is something of a metaphor for the strip itself. Batiuk made a stupid mistake for a dumb reason, it failed miserably and we’re stuck dealing with his refusal to admit he done fucked up once too often. I tell a lie. He blames us for his strip’s unpopularity because he’s too dumb to admit that his brain might need Winston’s services.

  16. Rusty

    Judging by the perspective here, the front porch is gigantic. Or the tree is located next to the Brooklyn Bridge. I’m surprised Cayla is allowed to stay outside while Les conducts serious business.

  17. Rusty Shackleford

    Another day closer to retirement for Batty. This strip took all of 2min to create and execute.

  18. Saturnino

    This is the perfect setup to turn into another version of Tutankhamun’s curse………….

  19. Saturnino

    “And the fact that they’re destroying a perfectly healthy tree for no other reason so that they can make maudlin noise about soul-crushing loss is something of a metaphor for the strip itself”

    YOU FOOL!

    That tree will be ground up, eventually to be made into the pulp which will be made into the paper upon which will be printed the charter copies of Les’s new DSL book upon which he will base his not to be received Pulitzer prize..

  20. I get it, I get it already! Autumn plus falling leaves plus dying tree removal equals bid deep metaphor for death and its attendant moments of decline. The arrival of the truck is the funeral service and coffin in the metaphor. But if someone just happened to turn to today’s strip randomly and didn’t have any inkling to the subtext, he’d simply see a single panel drawing of a tree truck and wonder what it had to do with the daily funnies… And say to himself, hmm, that is kinda dumb. Does TB actually want a reader base or not?

  21. Hannibal's Lectern

    Umm… not to be picky here, but just where do they intend to put the remains of DSL’s tree after it’s cut down? I don’t see a truck or trailer for that purpose, and surely thay can’t put these Sacred Relics through the chipper.

    Arriving tomorrow: Bob’s Mobile Lumber Mill (“You’ll Get Board With Us”), which will process the DSL tree into the materials for a new addition to the house. Will it be a theater for viewing the DSL tapes on the big screen, or a new bedroom where Les can actually be inside the precious relics of DSL? Stay tuned…

  22. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$$

    This strip is the quintessence of padding and filler. I take your word for it Batiuk that Les would call someone to remove the tree. I DON’T NEED TO SEE IT!!!!! I

  23. sgtsaunders

    Bats has been trying to keep us entertained this week with drawings of trains and trucks.

  24. DOlz

    The only place I’ve seen that kind of truck used is when they are trimming trees along utility right of way or roadway. We recently has a tree taken down and a team of guys did it. One of them secured a safety rope on a nearby tree and then climbed the tree to be taken down. He would secure a rope to a section of the tree so the guys on the ground could direct the fall. He then cut the section then lowered himself on the tree and repeated the process.

    This is the same way I’ve seen other trees taken down in our neighborhood. There is a fair amount of skill and teamwork in safely taking down a tree. What the hey, that doesn’t lend itself to a cheap lazy pun, and I apologize to the ghost of Jay Ward for calling that a pun.

  25. Professor Fate

    Do you think Topper is also a bit of wordplay linking a) tree cutting down stuff and b) that series of films and a TV show about Ghosts? Or am I wayyyyyy overthinking this?

  26. DOlz

    @Professor Fate, yes. But then all us here put way more thought into this strip than the … cough … author does.

  27. ComicBookHarriet

    I work for a business supplies company, and for horrible pun business names, no one can beat chimney sweeps. I have seen multiple businesses named: Ash Busters, Soot Happens, Ashes to Ashes, Flue Doctor, Soot Yourself, Ash Wipers, Lord of the Flues, Sootslayer, Ash Masters, Soot Sational Chimney Sweep, Ashes Affair, Soots Me, Kicking Ash Chimneys, and my favorite, The Flue’s Brothers.

  28. Rusty

    @ComicBookHarriet: About a year from now Les should be getting a visit from a chimney sweep service. You can take all the credit.

  29. Epicus Doomus

    DOlz: I used to work for a tree service way, way, WAY back “in the day”, I’ll give TheAuthor a pass on the bucket truck. It depends on a lot of factors, where the tree is located, how large it is, how rotten it is and so forth. Using a bucket truck is actually easier in some circumstances, not so much in others. It’s honestly a LOT easier than climbing and generally safer too. The tree pictured in the strip doesn’t look especially challenging, we would have reduced it to a stump in maybe a half an hour tops.

  30. DOlz

    @Epicus Doomus, I bow to your superior knowledge and retract my criticism. Except for the cheap lazy pun part.

  31. Epicus Doomus

    DOlz: Where cheap lazy puns are concerned, we’re all standing in line behind the TomBan. In the main, I mean.