Happy Endings

Jon loves happy endings. Ugh. I’m going to walk away from my keyboard, enjoy my Friday night and try to not think too much about the visual that Jon’s reference gives me in today’s strip.

And, whoa. Did Jon even think to mention to Holly that all of the Starbucks Jones comics were already collected into an affordable, easy-to-purchase digest? Or was he too blinded by the dollar signs in his eyes every time Holly reached for her purse?



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

19 responses to “Happy Endings

  1. For the two of you who had the faintest lingering hope that The Great Comic Book Saga was not completely in vain, today’s strip should snuff that out for you.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    So OK, the only possible way Rocky could have known about Cory selling the collection was if Holly told her about it while Cory was out of the room during their annoying post-engagement celebration. Which means that Rocky had to have gotten the idea to buy the archived whatevers for Cory immediately thereafter. Which means it couldn’t possibly have been a planned surprise at all, it had to have been a totally spur of the moment-type thing. Time is always so relative in this strip.

    And speaking of time, it’s kind of remarkable yet predictable that the Korner would still be open at this hour. Cory & Rocky went to dinner, then Rocky’s mom’s house, then Funky’s, so unless they hit the early bird you’d have to figure it’s probably at least nine or nine-thirty already, no? Yet DSH and Harry are still there, which I suppose makes sense in Westviewian terms given what just happened.

    This Rocky kid certainly isn’t wasting any time fitting in though, gotta give her that much. Once she gains a few or seventy pounds and develops her sense of wryness a bit better it’ll be like she was always a fixture. Great start though. And she’s got some set of comic book sensibilities on her too, I’ll tell you what.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    TheDiva: I didn’t realize it at first but yes, it appears that this marks the official end of the Great SJ Collection mega-arc, and arc that spanned two years and launched countless weeks of mind-bending drudgery. If this is how he planned to end it all along, well, I’d like to see how much worse it’d be if he improvised.

  4. Yes, it does mean that DSH deliberately strung Holly along in order to make a buck off of her ignorance. You see it, I see it, the people on CK see it and almost everyone else sees it….expect for Batiuk himself. He’s too blinded by the fact that Cory was able to afford the ring to realize what a pointless waste of Holly’s time this was. There’s a happy ending for Corey and Rocky, there’s a happy ending for the creep ruling the world, there’s a really happy ending for DSH but there’s not really a happy ending for Holly who spent a shit-load of time and money for nothing more than the chance to be talked down to by a Mira Sobinski clone.

  5. Hannibal's Lectern

    Notice Cory’s body language in the last panel. He’s not reaching for the comic books; if anything, his hands are recoiling in an expression of fear and disgust. His eyes, to the extent that Bathack can draw expression in them, also seem to be averted, as if he were viewing a dismembered corpse. His exclamation of a single “!” marks the realization that no matter what he does, no matter where he goes, he will never, never, never be permitted to grow up, put the adolescent-comic-book-fan phase of his life behind him, and have an adult relationship. The horror… the horror…

  6. Rusty

    @Hanniball: Yes, Cory is not pleased. He will ask Holly if he can keep the archives under his bed, so he can visit them once in a while.

    The existence of the printed archives totally negates Mason Jarr having to travel to Westview to read the treasured collection, BTW. It’s called writing.

  7. The only “happy ending” possible will come when Tom Batiuk retires. And we have to wait until March 26, 2022 for that.

  8. Nice call on the header. Just spotted it. What a horrible night it has been.

  9. Very good header. In a world such as this, it just seems sad that one man decided to turn his “funny” strip into a “serious” one, and the only thing he can talk about is comic books.

  10. Rusty Shackleford


    I agree. Some seriousness would be ok, but like Johnston, Batty just crams his worldview down your throat. Compare this with Breathed and Watterson who get their point across with subtlety and humor.

  11. hitorque

    Jesus fuckin’ Christ… He’s read this series a thousand times already, woman! Get him something different for a change…

  12. Interesting that Batiuk made (likely unintentional) a nod to Herge. If there is a comic book series worth collecting, it’s the 21-volume “The Adventures of Tintin.”

  13. It would appear that yet again, Batiuk is the victim of an atrocious coincidence. That being said, what differentiates him from Marciuliano is that the younger man is willing to pull blog entries and apologize to people when that happens. Batiuk simply shrugs and says that that’s not his problem.

  14. Epicus Doomus

    Paul Jones: I wasn’t sure what you meant until I checked out yesterday’s “Crankshaft” and yeah, that was a rather unfortunate gag to run on that particular day. It really is amazing how that seems to happen a lot with TB, isn’t it? It’s pretty freaky IMO. Also noteworthy is the fact that no one’s noticed. I’ve never considered the possibility that maybe “Crankshaft” has even fewer readers than FW does.

  15. bad wolf

    I would guess Crankshaft has fewer readers, but that’s based on nothing except seniority (hah!). Since CS is more gag-a-day, it may well have overtaken the parent strip for readability, so who knows. (Comics Kingdom? We’ve all seen what a professional organization that is.) Anyway, not sure how or why anyone would retroactively pull yesterday’s strip, it was pretty tangential.

    I also hazard a guess that some of this last leg of the arc was a response to TB’s gaffes earlier in the strip, as everyone online wondered why there were no reprints, no trades, and whether this included the pricey first issue (Corey mentioned the first few were covered by a trade in the collection.) While I still highly doubt TB reads online comments, he may have eventually gotten flack from the people whose opinions matter to him–the ‘real’ comic book creators he hangs out with.

  16. @Epicus Doomus and @Paul Jones, don’t forget that the “Lisa gets blown up in the Westview Post Office” super mega-arc (that he drew as a anvilicious attack on talk radio and informally tying it to the Murrah Building bombing… actually, he made that connection in Cleveland media interviews at the time) ran in newspapers ONE WEEK AFTER THE ATLANTA OLYMPICS BOMBING.

    Anyone with a brain or an IQ above 9 at King Features should have spiked that entire arc out of grounds of utter tastelessness.

    (And now I sit and wait until Batiuk comes to downvote my comment…)

  17. SpacemanSpiff85

    What I don’t get is how a comic series consisting of hundreds of issues can fit in two relatively small books.

  18. Jesus wept…Sunday’s offering makes everything worse.

  19. Rusty

    I could understand Batiuk’s obsession with superhero comic books if he actually worked in the industry. I hope most men in their late 60’s have moved on to some other form of entertainment. Or reading material.