Auld Lang Shite

What the hell is in that bottle? I thought Funky only “toasted” with real toast these days. Well, the last strip of 2015 will certainly lend credence to the “Tom Batiuk is trolling the hate-readers” theory. Why else would he have the titular character grinningly offer such a grim salutation, even ironically? And if Funky is trying to be funny, he’s the only one in on the joke; everyone else looks either surprised or dismayed.

To be fair, Funky’s entitled to his gloomy outlook. After all, Les has his inflated ego and submissive wife to indulge him. Crazy Harry’s underemployed and loving it. This year, Darin, Pete and Cindy all lucked into exciting careers on the West Coast, and Cindy (Funky’s ex-wife) is engaged to a movie star. Cory Winkerbean’s back stateside and is also planning to get hitched. Bull’s Scapegoats enjoyed a perfect football season. The only arcs involving Funky dealt with his sending Montoni’s band box out to be repaired, and having him relive the Montoni’s bowling team’s victory (a decade ago) over Crankshaft’s team. The rest of his life consists of running the pizza parlor, jogging with smug Les, chauffeuring Cory to and from the airport, doctor visits, and humiliation at the hands of his personal trainer. Our slow shuffle to oblivion indeed. Pick up the pace there, Funkman.

Well, dear friends, as 2015 draws to a close, please accept once again my well wishes on behalf of the team. Cheers and Happy New Year!

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26 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

26 responses to “Auld Lang Shite

  1. First time he’s REALLY smiled since when, I wonder. Don’t know where he got the hooch but it must be a good batch. Happy New Year & one step closer to The Cornfield everyone.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    Uh yeah Les, and The Gang won’t be visiting your house on NYE anytime soon, not after the display YOU put on a few years back. I’ll take Funky’s grim, defeated toast over that bearded weirdo making out with himself in the corner any freaking day.

    The fan theories about BanMan merely hanging on until he gets his golden pencil or whatever are no doubt right on the money, as this was an absolutely dismal year for FW. “Going through the motions” is putting it way too kindly, as the strip was downright comatose all year. I guess the main arcs of the year were the Dick Tracy fiasco, that terrible time pool thing and, of course, those insane Lisa DVDs. And those were the HIGHLIGHT arcs of the year, mind you. If I had to pick just one as worst of the year it’d be the Lisa DVDs arc, as that one was disturbing while the other two were just stupid.

  3. SpaceManSpiff85

    I wouldn’t have expected Les and Harry’s wife to be the ones to enter a pact to kill Funky, but that’s obviously what’s going on in panel two. Oh well, at least that means at least one thing will happen in this strip in 2016. Maybe.

  4. Sharing with anyone who might care: SoSF’s stats for the year just ending.
    https://sonofstuckfunky.com/2015/annual-report/

  5. billytheskink

    TB really should have saved this one. It would have been an amazingly appropriate final strip for Funky Winkerbean.

    Unless… Dare I dream it?

  6. And with that, Funky Winkerbean officially crosses the Poe’s Law barrier, and is indistinguishable from any satire of itself.

  7. Rusty

    Foreshadowing? Funky finally got the prostate results back and knows he has less than a year to live?

  8. HAnzMFG

    Was the previous day’s strip supposed to be Funky ending however many years of sobriety and getting bombed so he can deliver this speech in today’s panel?

  9. Hilarious post title, by the way. Always one of my favorite parts of this blog.

    TFH sez: Thanks! About half the time, they write themselves.

  10. Jim in Wisc.

    Of course they’re ringing in the New Year at Montoni’s. This is the height of fine dining in the pit of misery and despair that is Westview, Ohio.

  11. While the tone of the strip has exhibited a dark worldview for some time, it seems that over the past year a lack of cohesion has also appeared. This strip adds overt hostility to the mix – not a pretty combination.

  12. Great. He is trolling the people who actually read his strip these days.

  13. Rusty Shackleford

    Batty is trying to foreshadow the death of Funky. You know he is next in line for the cancer.

  14. sgtsaunders

    I think today’s strip is actually a toast to all the snarkers who have provided the bulk of FW readership over the last several years by acknowledging that the Funkyverse is a dismal, relentless, joyless parallel hell of a dimension devoid of hope.

  15. ComicBookHarriet

    Why would Battom give us a absolute gem like this when he knows that Comics Curmudgeon is on holiday and FunkyWatch has been on hiatus for months while the author is suckered into gushing over Transformers comics? I feel that this will be so under-appreciated, when it needs to be enshrined.

    This is Beautiful! An Ur-Winkerbean! The Platonic Ideal of Winkerbeanism in one panel: A character says something depressing while trying to be ironic, while others look on in confusion and disgust. Pure Batuick Gold.

  16. Bobby Joe

    Well that toast ought pep you up some. The rest of the gang seems to be caught in stunned silence contemplating their collective demise.

  17. Rusty Shackleford

    I don’t know why, but I spent some time watching Batty’s interview with CBS. Boy that must have really stroked his ego! So that is his contribution to the art: ham fisted, force-fed commentary on social issues.

    Then I stumbled upon this clip which is an adaptation of some thoughts by Bill Watterson– deep, sensitive, and thought provoking as always.

  18. HeyItsDave

    I read this strip and for a moment, I thought about how great it would be if Bantom decided to crack the fourth wall. An Act IV, if you will, where Funky is the only character in the strip who actually knows he’s living out a banal, meaningless existence at the hands of a creator who actively dislikes him. But then I realized that Batiuk isn’t talented or intelligent enough to pull that off, and he’s most likely just trolling the snarkers.

    Happy New Year, Tom! I know you’re reading here. Can’t wait for new continuity errors – what with Mort an active senior totally recovered from his previous wheelchair-bound dementia and Dinkle recovering his hearing, I can’t wait to see if Becky grows a new arm.

  19. Hannibal's Lectern

    @HAnzMFG: I’m pretty certain Bathack would respond by saying Funky’s drinking non-alcoholic root beer (or some other soft drink that comes in a brown bottle) and point to the fact that everybody else is guzzling champagne from flute glasses.

    But this is the Funkyverse, and in reality Funky’s guzzling serious hooch from that brown bottle, while everybody else is drinking the non-alcoholic sparkling grape juice that his AA partner dropped off for him.

  20. na·dir \ˈnā-ˌdir, ˈnā-dər\ noun : see Funky Winkerbean

  21. $$$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    Man, everyone is so stylish. I half expect Crockett & Tubbs to burst through the door on a cocaine bust.

  22. bayoustu

    Hey, BanTom: how’s about turning your strip’s “slow shuffle into oblivion” into an all-out sprint?! Pretty please? Sheesh…

  23. Wow, everyone’s all decked out in black, except Cayla, for some reason–is this another way of saying she’s “not really black”?

    Yeah, I would assume that’s root beer Funky’s got in his mitt.

    Happy New Year everyone!

  24. High point of my year: being turned onto SOSF and anticipating a rediscovery of what was, admittedly, one of my fave strips circa my college years and into the ’80s and early ’90s (my newspapers from about 1992-2014 did not carry FW), along with the finely-honed and -tuned commentary that only an engaged and appreciative fan community can provide. Low point of my year: said “rediscovery” turns out to be a slo-mo freeway pileup of epic (doomicus, har har) proportions, like I walked into the middle of a movie and just assumed that, hey, nothing could be as ghastly as all these folks keep saying, right, and it’s all a big inside joke a la The Truman Show… Y’all SOSF vets have been subjecting yourselves to this slow slide into mediocrity for how long now? Is that, like, conditions of your parole or something? Second high point of my year: the finely-honed and – tuned commentary here somehow makes purgatory bearable. Because as with that freeway pileup, it’s hard to look away from FW, even for a day, because you keep thinking, well, maybe today TB will pull off an actual passable punchline, or a decent pun, or a shrewd stroke of irony, or… I’m in denial, right? Sigh. Happy nude year, everyone. See you at the big FW Gala 50 bash!

  25. Is it mean that I’m thinking, “just off yourself and get it over with, Funky” when I read this strip?

  26. SpacemanSpiff85

    Do you think Funky charged them all for the drinks and pizza? I think he did.