Misplaced Anger

Link to today’s strip

Yes, these imbeciles talk out loud during movies, too. Sigh. Maybe it’s too ambitious, maybe it never goes anywhere, maybe I’m way off here. But something tells me that Cliff Anger is alive and well and currently residing at Bedside Manor, ready to regale the gang with tales of how awful Old Hollywood was and how horrible it was to play that stupid Starbuck Jones in those terrible films he never saw a dime for making. Then he’ll probably break a hip or some other hilarious thing old people always do. You know how they are and if not, go check out “Crankshaft” where at this very moment there’s a pretty fair chance that some adorable old grouch is fracturing or suffering from something right now. There’s just no way Batiuk is going to be able to resist the lure of “Cliff Anger”, puns are like narcotics to that guy.

So, why did Jessica (with Skyler) fly out to Ohio in the first place? Has new John Darling footage been unearthed? Another Montoni’s jones? You’d assume it had to have been something somewhat important if she had to go back to Ohio just a few months after moving away, yet she has time to go see old SJ movies, so WTF? Then there’s Mason, why did HE need to fly out to Ohio? Did the studio ask him to grab the head writer and a storyboard guy and scout the Cleveland location from above? Another Montoni’s jones? You’d assume it had to have been something somewhat important if the star of the white-hot SJ franchise suddenly had to charter a jet, flee Hollywood and head to Ohio, yet as soon as he arrived his first stop was at some decrepit old movie house in the middle of nowhere. So WTF? This entire week hinged on actions that make no sense and were never explained, not even in passing. FW: the comic strip were stuff sort of happens.

Well, that was an inexplicable and wickedly unfunny little romp, wasn’t it? That’s it for me for now, but stayed tuned next week as the Host with the Most takes over…the immortal TFH!

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21 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

21 responses to “Misplaced Anger

  1. The word “was” in the dialogue makes me think they are seeing the end of the film.

    Meaning, Tom Batiuk keeps his unbroken record of never showing an actual Starbuck Jones adventure.

    I’m feel kind of certain he feels sad about this…that something he valued has been lost forever. And I’m sorry he’s sad.

    I’d like to say “It’s not too late to turn the strip around” but I have the feeling that it is, indeed, too late. Far too late.

  2. SpacemanSpiff85

    How much do you want to bet that Mason Jarr is the secret bastard of Cliff Anger?

  3. HeyItsDave

    *sigh* I bet this means that ALL NEXT WEEK, it’s the search for Cliff Anger. Good ol’ Tom, he sure do know how to spin a yarn, he do.

  4. SpacemanSpiff85

    Alternate scenario:
    Mason realizes Cliff made a better Starbuck Jones than he’ll ever be. He exercises his kill fee to end production and forever preserve the memory of Anger.

  5. SpacemanSpiff85

    Hahahaha! Get it?! It’s a cliffhanger about Cliff Anger! Didn’t see that one coming! Goodness.

  6. This is going to end up with ol’ Cliff pulling a George Reeves and dying in a tragic and highly mysterious fashion, isn’t it?

  7. Jimmy

    Who cares about all that? I just want to know if Cliff Anger shills for Chesterfield or Pall Mall.

  8. Or will we discover that Cliff Anger was the stage name of a former pitcher for the Toledo Mud Hens whose movie career never took off, forcing him to return to Centerville and take a job driving a school bus?

  9. Epicus Doomus

    Cliff Anger, Toledo-born star of the “Starbuck Jones” serial films of the 1950s. After propelling the SJ franchise to global super-success, Anger’s star quickly dimmed after mean nasty producers forced him to compromise his artistic integrity, much to his angsty consternation. After exercising his kill fee, Anger quit the business and took a position as drama teacher at Diversity University Ironton until he retired into adorable coot-dom several or many years later. He currently resides in a zany nursing home full of colorful characters in varying degrees of misery, making wry observations in pun and wordplay form to this very day. His hobbies include complaining about the cafeteria food, the bully PT coach, the weather and his beloved Mudhens. That’s my guess.

  10. And you just know that no one will think to google the guy. Batiuk doesn’t know that the web is a sort of vast brain that never forgets any sort of trivia no matter how obscure.

  11. Saturnino

    “Or will we discover that Cliff Anger was the stage name of a former pitcher for the Toledo Mud Hens whose movie career never took off, forcing him to return to Centerville and take a job driving a school bus?”

    But wait! Shaftcrank just popped forward to 2016 with the overdue book fine calculation. The evil twins now exist in two places at the same time but at different ages.

    And Cranky is now both alive and dead, proving the Schrödinger’s cat paradox correct.

  12. “And Cranky is now both alive and dead, proving the Schrödinger’s cat paradox correct.”

    Oh no! If The Author gets wind of this and runs with the concept we may be treated to the spectacle of new storylines starring the not-Dead St. Lisa the Cancer Chew Toy. There could even be Ann arc in which she chases Cayla around Westview like a demented Capt. PIke (“The Menagerie” version).

  13. Rusty Shackleford

    So they had to travel to Ohio…there was no other way to do this research…like maybe on your smartphone?

  14. Meanwhile, over at the TB blog yesterday he’s extolling the virtues of crossovers and continuity. You can’t make this shit up.

  15. Cliff Anger doesn’t look like Starbuck Jones. In fact, he looks more like some character actor than a leading man. I keep thinking “Paul Birch” or “Brian Dennehy.”

  16. BT1 is alive and well. Having shown us not one iota of Cliff Anger’s acting prowess, Batiuk has a character merely tell us it existed.

    And he calls it writing.

  17. Spacemanspiff85

    @HeyItsDave:
    Six retweets? Ha.

  18. Hitorque

    Get ready for a 3 week flashback of how Cliff Anger dealt with smirky micromanaging studio lackeys back in 1954…

  19. batgirl

    Now you’ve done it, hitorque. Instead of Darin and Pete we’ll have Mason and …(I was going to say Cindi, but that would mean her talking about something other than aging and men, and Batiuk can’t deal with that) um… Darin again, speculating about how movies were filmed back in the day when actors were indentured servants to the studios.
    And they’ll get it all wrong, of course.