Rear Window

We bring you Day 2 of SoSF’s 6th Anniversary Gala as Paypah Clip steps up to the Guest Author plate! Remember to check out all of our guest authors this week and vote for your favorite starting Sunday!

Link to today’s utter nonsense

Hi, y’all! Paypah Clip here for a guest turn at SofSF. Away we go…

Hoo boy. In today’s offering, we get to see Mopey and M. Jarr, action star, stand around being vigilantly useless while (35? 58?)-year-old Cindy limbers up and in true 15-year-old fashion greases herself through an upper-story window like a spider monkey.

I’m always looking for some consistency in TB’s renderings of Cindy, and I never find it. Sometimes she’s smoking hot a la her days at Westview, but on off days it looks like her face is melting or she had a mild stroke. And no one around her says, “Hey, Cindy, you ok? You kind of went all Jabba the Hut on us.” Today, we are treated not to Cindy’s ever-changing face but to her (also) shape-shifting derrière. It’s inconsistent, but in the Batuikverse, that’s consistent with expectations. And there’s something kind of comforting in that.

My hope for Cindy is that she’s clambering out to escape these dreary knuckleheads, while Cliff Anger comes out of his apartment and attacks them with a meat cleaver in a dementia- and methamphetamine-fueled rage. One can dream.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

18 responses to “Rear Window

  1. SpacemanSpiff85

    The only thing wrong with that is that if a Westviewian was going to kill themselves, it’d be the happiest moment of their lives.

  2. And how does Cindy propose to talk to Mr. Anger? Does she really think that he’ll come over to the window by the fire escape, open it, and let her in? Given that three people he’s never met before first rang his doorbell and ow one of them is trying to get into his apartment from the fire escape, it’s far more likely that he’d be on the phone to the police to report the intruders.

    I guess that The Author is going to claim that Mr. Anger remembers Cindy from her days anchoring the local newscast before the network put her out to pasture because of her age and will consequently grant everyone entry into his temple dedicated to the great Starbuck Jones, oops, I mean his apartment.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    You can hear the wacky 1980s sitcom laugh track booming in the background as the Ditzy Blonde character climbs out a window, presumably as part of some cockamamie scheme to further harass and disturb an elderly man who just told them to go away and leave him alone. Heeeee-freaking-larious.

    “Don’t do anything risky”…like what, exactly? Like badgering a helpless old man for no reason other than to satisfy your own bloated sense of geekdom? And what the hell IS she doing? Is he seriously doing a “fire escape in NYC window” gag here? Doesn’t that pre-date vaudeville?

  4. In terms of intruders, there’s one thing to note–this is taking place in New York City, in a somewhat disheveled part of town. This completely looks like a home invasion, and Cliff Anger must be getting the same vibe.

    In a normal universe, I suspect Mr. Anger’s response would be “gunfire.”

  5. billytheskink

    Easily the most realistic strip in this whole story arc. I mean, making the flimsiest excuse and heading to the nearest exit of any kind is exactly what I would do if my peers dragged me into an apartment building to solicit an octogenarian.

  6. Um. Wow. You know that thing where reality outpaces comedy, and makes you wonder if satire is no longer possible? I honestly thought that was a parody strip at the top of this post. But no, it’s just our heroes going full-on home invasion. Funky Winkerbean meets Panic Room.

  7. Epicus Doomus

    Coming tomorrow: Cliff opens the door, hands Mason a book and quickly slams it shut again. Mason looks at the cover…”My Entire Life Story, By Cliff Anger”. “You can get it at any library, you know”, Cliff shouts from behind the door. The arc then abruptly cuts back to Montoni’s where Jessica is bemoaning the complexities of child car seats.

  8. Yeah, two of you stand outside the old man’s door creepily while the third tries to invade his house. That’s a great idea, in that I want to see all of you get shot.

  9. HAnzMFG

    Note to self: if I ever find myself in a Funky Winkerbean comic strip, locate nearest window and jump. Thanks for demonstrating, Cindy.

  10. The team of Summers, Jarr, and Ruiz are like a dented waffle iron.

    They’re leaving a bad impression.

  11. I know I’ve been beaten to the punch but it’s not as if it would actually occur to these stupid people that their need to scratch a stupid itch no one else cares about shouldn’t be used as an excuse to violate a man’s privacy. They should follow the wisdom of Stephen Leacock: “When at first, you don’t succeed….QUIT! QUIT AT ONCE!!!!” and go back home and eat shitty pizza in a depressing setting.

  12. 1. What the fuck does Cindy care? She has no personal stake in this movie, and her hubby-to-be gets paid regardless if it bombs out in the theaters… And do people usually go these kinds of lengths to get someone for a movie cameo?
    2. The old man is almost certainly dialing 911 by now… I wish Mr. Anger lived in the deep south, because our three “heroes” would have been peppered with buckshot by now…
    3. Before we left, Pete Rattabastardo was tasked with writing a preliminary draft script for the Starbuck Jones sequel… Shouldn’t he, you know, get cracking on it?
    4. I realize Pete is an orphan with no friends, family or woman in his life, but doesn’t Cindy have some grown children she might want to visit back in Westview or someplace? Or is reminding the readership that Cindy Sommers-Winkerbean-Jarr isn’t a late 20-something too much reality to handle?

  13. 5. Can we go back to Les, who’s probably cleaning out his car or something when he discovers a new, never-before-seen videotape of St. Lisa? And that tape gives him a list of coded riddles to solve if he wants to find out where Lisa hid the next cache of original, never-before-seen videotapes??

  14. By the way, love the rotating headers.

  15. billytheskink

    As do I, I’ve been refreshing the page over and over again just to see all the different ones.

  16. Right about now, another sub-plot should intrude on the action, like when Les teleported from Africa to attend Funky’s car’s naming ceremony.

    I use the terms “plot” and “action” loosely, of course.


    …and Cliff Anger mistook her for an intruder and shoots hr dead. BANG!!

    No…wait..a second. He isn’t mistaken her for an intruder!! She IS one!!!!!

    Fire away, Mr. Anger!