Brick. Mason.

April 10, 2016 at 10:49 pm
Wow, Tom Batiuk has absolutely no idea how the real world works. This is far more amazing and unbelievable than any Starbuck Jones adventure.

It’s times like these, gentle reader, when Batiuk’s “quarter inch from reality” stretches into light years, where it’s fun to imagine that the author is actually setting up a nuanced and compelling plot, instead of the usual flimsily constructed, implausible farce. Yesterday Mason was talking the producers into putting Cliff Anger in the picture and paying his (New York City!) rent for a year. Today Mason’s continues to overstep his authority, assigning Pete to write Anger into the script “as soon as we get back to Hollywood.”

What if Mason doesn’t have enough clout to recast and rewrite Starbuck Jones on the fly (c’mon, a guy whose signature role to date was in something called Dino Deer)? Perhaps Jarr’s come as unmoored from reality as the comic strip in which he’s a character, and he just thinks he’s pulling all these strings. I don’t have any better understanding of bipolar disorder than does Tom Batiuk, who labeled Mason as such merely to set up a cheap gag, but maybe he’s having one of what you call your manic episodes. In his head, anyway.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

20 responses to “Brick. Mason.

  1. That actually makes a lot of sense. If Mason is off on one of his episodes, then all this makes a kind of miserable, truly sick sense.

    We did, after all, not see Mason charter any of these planes, and we certainly didn’t see him contact the producers. He simply rushes in panel, brandishing his phone, with all manner of promises to the old man.

    Who will be crushed to learn, as he watches Mason taken away in a straight-jacket, that none of this is real, and his rent is now six months behind. The last we will see of him is a dejected figure sitting on a bed, his now empty briefcase beside him, with the exception of the ray-gun. He will press this to his temple and learn, just then, that the makers of the serial thought their effort would be a success, and made their props only too well.

    …geez, sorry about that. It’s this sort of thing that makes Tom Batiuk’s work “infectious” and not in the good way.

  2. HeyItsDave

    Time for this dream sequence to end – let’s get Pete back into character.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    So he totally omitted all the “action” and any trace of character development, now today he’s brainlessly repeating what already happened off-screen. There’s no joke here nor does it do anything to move the “story” along either, as that’s already over. He completely skipped over the entire story just to get to the filler garbage material faster. And people wonder why we give AuthorGuy such a hard time.

  4. spacemanspiff85

    “That’s not the only thing I’ve done in my head, Cindy . . .”

  5. Congrats to our anniversary contest winners HeyItsDave and stuckfunky! Thanks to all our contestants and to everyone who read along and voted.

  6. billytheskink

    “Pete will write…”

    Ha! I’ll believe it when I see it, Mason.

  7. Congrats to HeyItsDave and StuckFunky! Now–(Dalek voice) PUT THEM INTO THE HOST ROTATION!! IMMEDIATELY!!! OBEY! OBEY! OBEY!

  8. Congrats, HeyItsDave and StuckFunky!

    Do you really need to write in a cameo for Cliff Anger here? Surely he can be shoved into whatever day-player part is available at the moment. Hell, writing dialogue just means that you’ll have to pay him more.

  9. Epicus Doomus

    Congrats HeyItsDave: you will be hearing from SoSF Corporate HQ shortly. Please have a sample ready for the nurse BEFORE arriving, as the restroom facilities are currently undergoing renovations. The Surgeon General has deemed repeated FW exposure as potentially damaging to the humor and logic centers of the human brain. We here at SoSF assume no liability for any such injuries or conditions acquired while snarking under the SoSF corporate umbrella. The snarker assumes all risk inherent with trying to find something funny to say about the eighth day in a row of Funky sweating on a treadmill and any insanity or computer damage caused by said risk is solely the responsibility of the snarker.

  10. This Foobeque ass-pull makes one yearn for the logical rigor and close attention to facts on the ground on display in a typical episode of Totally Spies!

  11. Gerard Plourde

    And reality continues to take a holiday from the strip, unless The Author is foreshadowing discovery that Mason is having a manic episode. This would require greater attention to character and plot than is usually found in it.

  12. Rusty Shackleford

    Cindy looks older today, and her left eyebrow is a stick on that was placed over her hair. I guess she didn’t have enough time to get ready before they went to NY.

  13. “This Foobeque ass-pull…”

    Comparisons of FW and Batiuk to For Better or for Worse and Lynn Johnston are always totally apt. She’s Batom in a dress.

  14. Rusty

    Obi Wan Starbuck. Ok.

  15. Wait a minute… For 2+ years we’ve dealt with Pete Rattabastardo’s anguished tantrums of self-martyrdom every time he’s been asked to make even minor changes or edits to whatever he was writing or inking… Great job keeping your characters consistent, Batiuk.

    Am I the only one who remembers when this whole thing was supposed to be a *vacation*, and everyone was glad to take a break and get away from EVUL, soulless Hollywood for a few days? Somehow it turned into strictly a business trip for the movie — I don’t even think the characters have slept or even changed their clothes since getting back to the old hometown…

    Once again, WHY is Cindy a part of this, when she has no interest or involvement in the movie whatsoever (aside from making sure Mason’s female co-star isn’t TOO attractive)…Doesn’t she have some relatives, or grandkids she could visit or something? Doesn’t she have to have her annual meetup with Les to direct him on how the class reunion should be conducted, right down to the last detail??


    You know what’s bad about these strips…………… Well I know everything is bad about these strips….., but I am trying to narrow down the suckituge here to a core principle…..There is no conflict. Absolutely none. Oh sure there was the brief few strips of Cliff not answering and Cindy having to break in, but ultimately it leads to no conflict. The characters want Cliff Anger to be in the movie…presto…he’s in the movie.

    Imagine if in Empire Strikes Back,Luke went like this:

    Yoda : “Luke! You are Reckless”
    Luke – ” But I’m a really good Jedi”
    Yoda ” Well..ok.

    12 Months later

    Luke : “Hey great job, Master Yoda! I learned everything you taught me, went the the Death Star. Killed Darth Vader and the Emperor!.I didn’t even have to leave early to go to Bespin and learn awkwardly that Darth Vader was my father and Leia was my sister. I didn’t even loose my hand. Good job all around!!
    Yoda ” um… ok….. Anti-climatic this is.”

  17. Hey, maybe Batiuk thinks movies actually work like the Muppet Show? Where the most prominent performer (e.g., Kermit) also serves as director, writer, and propmaster, books talent, and answers phones at the receptionist’s desk?

  18. Hitorque

    How many speaking lines are they going to give him? Isn’t he well past 90 years old?

    They’re all acting like ol’ Cliff is going to play a major part of production…
    I thought “cameo” was closer to “man in background walking dog” or something??

    What does it matter, anyway? We all know 12-18 months from now Mason will still be getting his instant ideas, and criss-crossing the globe to find some obscure artist, SFX guy, key grip, or comics nerd and pay them exorbitantly for their involvement, and Anger will be dead before they actually film anything…

  19. Rusty Shackleford


    Big difference though as the muppet show is funny!

  20. The Dreamer

    In real life, Mason would have been fired from the movie by the producers and director for making his own casting and scripting decisions. He’d’ have been replaced as Starbuck Jones by Ben Affleck, who is a bigger star and has casting and script approval in his contracts 🙂 That would also get Affleck out of having to play Batman in any more movies!