i h8 u ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐

In today’s strip, T-Bats reveals the underlying dynamic of Westview: Everyone hates each other.

Seriously, an entire cast of people who think their own families suck! What a joy it must be to know Tom in real life.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

28 responses to “i h8 u ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Oh, OK, so Les can “confirm” that, can he? As I recall, Dick Facey spent most of his time on the “Lust For Lisa” set either whining, moping, sleeping or quitting. And once again we see Batiuk’s own personal inner misery on display again, as he subtly implies that doing what you love to do is nothing but pointless drudgery and unrewarding toil. Which is why he’s been doing a comic strip for a hundred and fifty years now. What a dick.

    Yes, Batom must be a real hoot at parties…

    “So, what do you do for a living?”
    “Oh, I toil over a comic strip I hate. It’s really unrewarding and awful work. I hate the strip, my readers and most of all, myself!”

  2. spacemanspiff85

    Given how much time Les spent thinking about the Lisa actress in “not a weird way”, I hate to think about what his family life is like.

  3. This strip makes sense, considering how little we’ve seen of the Winkerbeans’ and Moores’ children lately. What a wonderful father you must be, Tom. In case you didn’t know Tom, that was sarcasm.

  4. What a lovely sentiment to be voicing in front of your wives and fiancee! Seriously, how does anyone in the Funkyverse manage to get married to begin with?

  5. Gerard Plourde


    Your observations about today’s strip are spot-on. Given his misanthropic disposition, the residents of Medina must give The Author wide berth on the rare occasions when they encounter him. (Unrelated side note – Cayla has been given her once-a-season line. We’ll next hear from her around August.)

  6. billytheskink

    The good thing here is that TB’s family probably will never find out how much he hates them. Even they don’t read this mess.

    Panel 3 would definitely be the next “this might help” over at Dean’s Comic Booth, if that site was still being updated.

  7. JerrytheMacGuy

    Yes, but shooting on location is a catered Hell.

  8. Funky Goulding

    Cayla: “What’s it like shooting on location with this small army of people like you do? Pa-pa-people like you do? Pa-pa-people like you do? What are you waiting for?”

  9. It’s not bad enough that the bitter misanthrope lets his contempt for any opinion not his own sully the world without having to remember that he’s spending the rest of the month on Crankshaft telling us that Jeff’s mother broke her hip and now has to live in Bedside Manor with Future Crankshaft.

  10. Saturnino

    “Oh, I toil over a comic strip I hate. It’s really unrewarding and awful work. I hate the strip, my readers and most of all, myself!”

    “and it is the collective hatred of me by my readers that gives me a sense of purpose and the will to go on…………………………………………..”

  11. Saturnino

    The strip should end like the Sopranos: everybody is sitting at the table at Montoni’s talking. In panel two they all suddenly look at the reader.

    Panel three is blank.

    Then the balance of the remaining years to fifty can consist of blank panels. Or maybe silhouettes of actual customers (who also don’t know how to hold a slice of pizza) as appear today.

  12. And TomBat’s famous “continuity” kicks in again, as he seems to have forgotten the last forty or fifty strips…

    All together now: “IT’S CALLED WRITING!!”

  13. 1. I’ll take “Awkwardly-worded random questions no normal person would ever ask an actor for the sake of setting up a lame-assed punchline” for $1000, Alex…
    2. Thanks for bringing up the infamous kill fee and saving me a lot of typing.
    3. So where in the hell is Cindy? She’s never far away from Mason… Isn’t about time for Mason’s co-star to show up and we get a month of Cindy’s jealousy, self-loathing and depression about her looks despite being a 54-year-old in a 28-year-old’s body?
    4. Get ready folks, Les is about to have a huge role to play in this production…

  14. If only the shooting on location could be done with live ammunition..


    —The strip should end like the Sopranos: everybody is sitting at the table at Montoni’s talking. In panel two they all suddenly look at the reader.

    Panel three is blank. —–

    My personal choice is for this strip to end like Newhart. Jessica’s father, John,Darling, wakes up after being in a coma for years after the assassination attempt. He then tells his psychiatrist about the horrible dreams he had which consisted of the events of Crankshaft and Funky Winkerbean.

  16. Since today’s strip is set at Montoni’s…

  17. Mason is a true honorary citizen of Westview… Only a pure Westview soul can honestly compare the occupation that has given him fame, a comfortable lifestyle beyond his wildest dreams and immense wealth to working in a coal mine… What kind of universe is this where the only literal joy people get in life is from telling others how God-awful their lives are??

    Can Mason just STOP with his faux blue-collar, small-town, simple midwestern ‘aw shucks’ man-of-the-people demeanor? Even politicians don’t go this far over the top…

  18. Jim in Wisc.

    Check the background of panel 2. It appears the world-famous Montoni’s Murals – missing for low these many years – have finally been found!

  19. @spacemanspiff85
    To be fair, the actress who was going to play Lisa was fuckin’ *stacked*…

    Batiuk really missed a trick there… He could have had Les fall for the actress once she was done up like Lisa, he could have had this “Vertigo” homage where Les obsessively tries to recreate Lisa’s looks and mannerisms down to the last detail, or he could have just gone into the safe old cliché about us never wanting to know how laws and sausages are made, and how books get turned into movies… Instead he spit the bit and crapped out with some imaginary bullshit about a “kill fee”…

  20. HeyItsDave

    @hitorque –

    Batiuk is a master at taking the easy way out of any possible interesting storyline. He pretends to write an arc about gay kids at the prom which turns out to be nothing more than an angry school assembly speech by Nate…and we never even see the student’s faces. He retcons Donald into Donna instead of giving us an epic storyline about struggling with trans acceptance (That’s right, Tom. You missed another shot at a Pulitzer there) Dude is coasting into retirement, when he’s likely to sign yet another funny pages rerun agreement, locking down newspaper real estate that could be better served by giving a fresh voice a chance.

  21. @HeyItsDave

    OK…That Donna-Donald thing must have happened between that gap of time when my local fishwrap stopped carrying FW, and when I finally started reading it online. I guess the less I know about another retcon, the better… Although I do remember (back when Batiuk had something left in his fastball) some goth/poet chick at Westview writing what was essentially an apologia for the Columbine shooters in her English class, which I thought was pretty ballsy at the time (and as we would find out years later, completely wrong after the “Columbine shooters were bullied into their actions” -talking point was totally debunked)… If you know off the top of your head how the “Columbine poem” story arc got resolved I’d love to hear it since I never got a chance to read an ending….(I don’t know what year it was — ’01? 02? maybe earlier because it was still fresh in the national consciousness??)

  22. bayoustu

    All these dull storylines BatBoy has inflicted upon us… he could have at least shown us the horrible industrial accident wherein Cayla’s head was squeezed in a hydraulic press!

  23. Les Moore in all three panels, because of course he is. If I ever go insane and re-do the “bees” picture, that middle frame face is going in.

  24. Batiuk takes to his blog to explain the “Thanx, Andy” hat tip from March:

  25. HeyItsDave

    @TFHackett – Gotta hand it to him for having the balls to compare himself to Andrew Wyeth.

  26. Gerard Plourde

    The Author apparently doesn’t realize that the jet depicted was Wyeth’s, the “girl” is actually Wyth’s wife/business manager Betsy, that he wanted to title the picture “Betsy’s World” but she vetoed it, and that by showing the Maine farms he had previously depicted in “Christina’s World” and other pictures he was poking humor at nostalgia. http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/chatterbox/2009/01/andrew_wyeth_rip.html

  27. Jim in Wisc.

    @TFHackett: Oh God, what a pompous ass!

  28. I know some of Wyeth’s works but otherwise know nothing about him–such as how he would have taken being called “Andy.”