In This Corner….

Link to today’s strip.

I dunno, Mr. Director Man, but everyone seems to be smiling at it so it can’t be a hideous, slavering monster that will devour all of you, so it’s hard to care.  Naturally Les is right there, because of course he is.  My God, what an utterly punchable face.  The most loathsome man in the world.

Say, do you know how comic strips are made?  Some guy–a cartoonist–scribbles a few bits of artwork down, then erases them and re-draws them until they’re as terrible as possible.  Then the cartoonist decides, “How do I feel about my readers?  Do I hate them, or do I really hate them?” and he writes down dialog depending on his decision.  Then, he decides he really hates his readers after all, and adds Les Moore.  If the cartoonist takes more than ten minutes to do all of this, he loses.  Does he then start all over until he gets it right?  No, don’t be silly, this is cartooning where “losing” is “getting it right.”

…I figured I’d take Tom Batiuk’s knowledge of how movies are made and apply it to a different profession.   Because in reality, Jim Kibblesnbits wouldn’t be getting a check–the scene would have been re-shot and the people responsible for on-set security would, at best, be severely reprimanded.  And the adults in charge of the field trip would probably be charged with reckless endangerment.  Or, if they were lucky and no one saw Kibblesnbits and thus decided to get nasty, trespassing.  Obviously, HeyItsDave explained this the other week, but it bears repeating every time Tom Batiuk decides his hard-won ignorance is preferable to how things actually work.

Credit where it’s due:  the shift in perspective between panel one and panel two is actually pretty well handled.  The presence of Les ruins both panels, but I’m sure he’s only there to represent Tom Batiuk’s middle finger to his critics.  His expression for this function is perfect.

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28 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

28 responses to “In This Corner….

  1. HeyItsDave

    Look at that goddamn face on Les. That’s the face of a man who just let one rip in a crowded room.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    It’s funny how the Movie Business was a cesspool populated by sleazy creeps and cancer book-defiling scumbags…until the business set up shop in Ohio, that is. Now they’re a force of pure benevolence, employing kindly old coots, school buses full of trespassers, baton twirlers and whoever else happens to disrupt the production. AND a Big Movie Star is speaking at WHS graduation plus SJ is filming a huge scene there too. All it took was a simple move to Ohio.

    What or who is Les lovingly gazing at? Wait…don’t wanna know. What a dick. Based on the header pic Joe Hollywood must be talking about the old WHS computer, which the SJ film suddenly “needs” because of course it does. Hope they don’t need the vendos too.

  3. Last week I called that the Act 1 computer would be appearing. The big question is whether or not it will be sentient, or if the Lord of the Retcon will strike again. And what would the computer be doing in the science lab instead of in a junk heap?

  4. MJ

    Is it a Red Ryder BB gun, with a compass in the stock?

  5. billytheskink

    *gasp*
    It’s Wally Jr.!

  6. It’s even better when you know the story.

  7. Because sure, don’t all movie budgets have an extra few thousand dollars allocated so that they can pay any random extras who just happen to wander onto the set?

  8. Rusty

    The extra money for extras came from the savings on Montoni’s pizza for all meals.

  9. 1966tvbatman

    Oh son of a bitch… it’s going to be the old 1970s computer, isn’t it? The film company is going to use it in the damn movie. Fuck.

  10. spacemanspiff85

    It’s probably Westview’s two gay students, and this is all we’re going to see of them.

  11. @1966tvbatman: Yeah. It’s the smart-alecky computer from the seventies. Gotta bitch about orphan format cancer.

  12. It’s not bad enough that we have to have Batiuk destroy the last bit of whimsy in the strip without having to watch Crankshaft make a wise crack about a mechanical error.

  13. Chyron HR

    “What about us brain-dead slobs?”
    “You’ll be given cushy jobs!”

  14. The director lost that hundred pounds from a few weeks ago…

  15. HeyItsDave

    @Fred Blurt – Chemotherapy will do that to you.

  16. @beckoningchasm: What the hell kind of weirdo site is that??

  17. @Chyron HR: “WERE YOU SENT HERE BY THE DEVIL?”

  18. 1. Shouldn’t the director be, you know, out filming somewhere or meeting with his staff/crew instead of hanging out in the teacher’s lounge like a douche?

    2. So what on Earth could be in that corner?

    A. Les’ M60E3 that he used to keep order with, as hall monitor

    B. The vendor stand where Les sells his “undiscovered, never-before-seen” tapes of St. Lisa

    C. The scapegoat mascot costume, which the director thinks will make the perfect alien

    D. Wedgieman’s ring, which is in the lost-and-found

    E. A pile of ‘performance enhancers’ Bull uses for his football players

    F. That talking spray-painted rock from Act I

    G. A crate of previously unpublished Starbuck Jones comics

    H. That desk set and equipment from Cindy’s old job at the local affiliate, which they never got around to ever installing

    I. A painting on the wall that looks like Cindy, aged 110

    J. Les’ plan to finally make up for forgetting Cayla’s anniversary, which is only three years late

    K. That time locker or time pool or whatever the hell it was

    L. meh, that’s enough….

  19. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    Hopefully it is an escaped Peter Mossman in the corner.

  20. JESUS H. CHRIST can God please drop a huge-ass meteor on Crankshaftville? I mean the bible is full of instances where god erases some evil, unholy city from the map…

  21. HeyItsDave

    @hitorque “I. A painting on the wall that looks like Cindy, aged 110”
    I stand in line, good sir.

  22. HeyItsDave

    So T-Bats has been totally fucking with us with this timeline shit. Crankshaft takes place ten years before FW, but both of them are set in 2016, and now over in Crankland we get this jumping back and forth with the “x weeks ago” garbage. Well, that’s certainly one way to fix the continuity problems, T-Bats ol’ boy. Shake the goddamn jar until it doesn’t matter when anything is taking place.

    Nice to see Cranky back in his own strip, though.

  23. Professor Fate

    This arch reminds me of the film Birdemic bust before the Birds attack – everybody is getting absurd amounts of money and success it’s all wonderful in a cringe worthy way. Maybe the strip can have a twist were the aliens in the film are real aliens using the film to infiltrate Ohio to establish a base of operations in an unimportant region before moving on to take over the earth.

  24. Gerard Plourde

    @ Professor Fate – And in a twist on Wells’ “War of the Worlds” the aliens will die from ingesting Montoni’s Pizza.

  25. bayoustu

    @HeyItsDave: That “Mad’s Maddest Artist” Don Martin-esque sound effect (“Fweeeee Pbbbth”) is the funniest damn thing associated with this faithless and accursed comic strip ever!!

  26. Rusty Shackleford

    Don Martin was a better story teller too!

  27. The Dreamer

    The kids can’t be paid as extras, they are not SAG/AFTRA union members. Cleveland is a union town! You can’t be in the movie unless you have a union card

  28. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Realguy McDirector: “What’s that back in the corner there?”

    Les: “Nothing. That’s just this woman who hangs around my house, um…, whatever her name is. All I know is her name isn’t Lisa, my real wife. I make her stand in the corner when I’m with my cool movie friends, or whenever the MEN are talking.”