It seems the slavering monster I was hoping for yesterday has been revised into an old piece of computing equipment. I’m guessing this is the old Act I computer which was obsessed with Star Trek, and um, had, uh, other characteristics I’m sure. Those of you who guessed this, please collect your prize money at the gate. Of course, I think that was everyone who looked at this week’s banner, so form an orderly line, folks.
Normally this would be a welcome thing, seeing this relic from the good old days of the strip…but I don’t know. The last time something from then was brought back…well, I can’t remember what it was but I seem to recall that it was ret-conned into being something terrible. Maybe it was Donna as the Eliminator, or Franky going from dumb jock to out-and-out rapist, or…something. These strips are so anti-content that I honestly forget most of them seconds after reading. (Or at least I give it the ol’ Westview try.) Thus, whenever anything from the “funny” days appears, my reaction is not “Oh boy, we’re going to lighten things up!” but “Oh, God, we’re taking this out of the closet so we can smash it.”
At any rate, the fact that the computer “sighs” can’t be a good sign. Perhaps it has some horrible, debilitating virus, and it wants to be smashed into flinders. Which makes me wonder why Tom Batiuk has never done an “assisted suicide” arc, the story of someone who finds existence so painful that they can’t continue. Certainly there must be a lot of folks in Westview who feel that way and can’t see pain as an opportunity for a pun. Seriously, if he carried it through it might get him that Pulitzer. I’d nominate either Cayla or Funky himself.
Finally, once again, Les hovers over the proceedings like an evil angel of death (even though he’s the shortest one there, a virtual midget). He contributes nothing except making the reader hate this comic even more. Look at him in panel one: “The hate is swelling in you now. Take your weapon. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.”
Wouldn’t it be great if Kibblesnbits accidentally tipped the computer onto Les, and it smashed his ribcage into a thousand fragments? And he made a noise like “Guuuhhh” and everyone thought that was so funny, and they couldn’t stop laughing? And they picked up the computer, and dropped it again, just so they could hear that noise and enjoy themselves?
I mean, it’s long past time Les did something funny, isn’t it? That would work for me.