Hand Of Plod

Link to today’s strip

Yep, the only thing this whirlwind of an arc was missing was a good old fashioned time-killing silent strip. This is almost as suspenseful as wondering when the highway department is going to pick up that deer carcass you pass every day on your morning commute. It’s all in the details today…Jeff’s steam line-free coffee mug (indicating he’s been at this for some time), his tongue sticking out as he works diligently on a puzzle based on a child’s toy (indicating his complete idiocy), the legal pad helpfully labeled “legal pad” (to avoid any confusion) and, last but not least, Jeff’s pencil-holding hand, which indicates he is writing. At least someone involved with FW is.

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23 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

23 responses to “Hand Of Plod

  1. spacemanspiff85

    I’m genuinely shocked Jeff didn’t write any of his letters backwards like on the Toys’r’us sign.

  2. The “tongue sticking out” indicating “this is hard” just makes me laugh.

    It isn’t difficult at all. I’d be willing to bet that somewhere in this arc was a strip showing the full message, after which Tom Batiuk smirked and said “Ha! Hapless fools, here’s the full message! Solve it–if you can!

    And when people solved it without any issue he phoned the syndicate–“Pull the strip! Pull the strip! Dance to that which created you!”

    Seriously, these kinds of puzzles are just pattern recognition and using logic based on letter usage. The idea that you would need a decades-old ring to decipher them…well, I guess it’s time to add another item to “Tom Batiuk doesn’t know how things work” roster. How many pages is that now? It would probably be a great item under the “Other Crap” heading, except it would encompass too much.

  3. They say that doing word games like cryptograms helps keep your mind sharp. Jeff is either proof that that isn’t true, or it’s no use starting when you don’t have that many wits to begin with.

  4. HeyItsDave

    Jff’s childhood home was obviously loaded with lead paint.

  5. billytheskink

    Why buy legal pad ™ brand legal pads if you are going to write on them like you would on a napkin?

    And wasn’t Junior Spacemen Of America a 3 person cult that briefly made the evening news in 1992?

  6. Jimmy

    Listen up, goobers. This is how it really works. Why, just in fact, two months ago I sent a special message out for a meetup at my local gazebo. My dog and I showed up…Actually, he got away from the collar and never came back…
    wait….
    maybe I should have used a better encryption.

  7. spacemanspiff85

    @beckoningchasm:
    The book of things Batiuk is clueless about would be much, much longer than the book of quality Funky Winkerbean strips.

  8. Here, he works far too hard so that he can be told that the World Premiere of Starbuck Jones is at the Aztec. In his own strip, he commits petty larceny to retrieve this trash.

  9. Charles

    So tomorrow Jff will have deciphered the message, which he will read to us helpfully. Then Saturday we’ll see him doing whatever the message tells him to do. Then Sunday will be the event that this message is supposed to be triggering.

    That’s some major league padding right there. I’m sure this is totally a story that needed seven days to be told.

    The only way this would be redeemed is if the message is “Starbuck Jones wants you to drink more Ovaltine.” I would retract every comment I’ve made about Batiuk and his strips if the message is “Starbuck Jones wants you to drink more Ovaltine, fuck face.”

  10. ComicTrek

    BUT–if the “secret code” ad was randomly in the newspaper like that, who could possibly find a way to decode it? Who else (but Jeff, and maybe a vintage memorabilia collector) would still own a super-rare Starbuck Jones decoder ring from the 1950’s/60’s?!

  11. Rusty Shackleford

    So here we go, Batty is dragging this crap out and showing how little he knows of the modern world.

    A cryptic ad in a newspaper that depends on the reader having a rare trinket from childhood to decode. No iPad Jfff? No trailer on YouTube?

  12. When fully decoded, the message in the ad instructs the Junior Spacemen to report to a specific address at noon on Friday. And bring the decoder ring. However, it’s not the theater; it’s the police station. There, Jff will be arrested for having pried up the floorboards of somebody else’s house ten years ago to steal the Starsuck crap. It would have been a misdemeanor, but the recent excitement over the Starsuck movie has rendered the decoder ring a valuable collectible (though, as it will turn out, there is only one person in Cancerdeathville who actually collects Starsuck stuff and he already bought a ring from a senile old guy in New York who thinks he’s Cliff Anger). Jff is convicted and sentenced to ten years in prison, where he quickly gets cancer and dies. Pmm, liberated from her life with Jff and his mommy issues, blooms into a happy senior citizen and is promptly written out of the strip. Les smirks.

  13. Why did he copy it in caps then decipher the code in lower case? TB sure seems to relish the tiny telling details. Unfortunately they are almost always the least relevant details to the actual story and character development. Oddly, the CS arc at the other strip is some amazing psychodrama whose tiny telling details seem more suited to an epic FW arc a la Lisa and the cancer than a ridiculous one note strip about a malaprop spouting grump.

  14. merrypookster

    and in Crankshaftland…. Jeff digs out his childhood box of SJ comics. WTF batiuk? #1 SJ was bought by teen funky….and you have a box from your pre-teen daze? Forward into the past indeed.

  15. merrypookster

    Holy Mackerel Mudhead…. even Rex Morgan is into lost comic books. It’s a conspiracy

  16. Professor Fate

    and we spend more time with the man child – the tongue thing is very apt as this is very common in CHILDREN not so much in grown up people.
    As far as the other strip…well my hypothesis that Jff has killed the owner gains more support as otherwise how would he be able to tear up the floor boards of a strangers house?

  17. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    “…Spacemen, I need $100,000 to build a a new spacecraft to continue my ongoing battle against evil.

    Please mail donations to the below address:

    Cliff Anger
    P.O. Box 6969
    Cleveland OH, 44101

  18. @Westview Oncologist – Wow, I think every character in both strips would respond with such enthusiasm that Cliff Anger would be a very wealthy man within days.

  19. bayoustu

    Given this strip and today’s Crankshaft, Bat Boy must have decided today was “Hands Drawing Friday”!…

  20. spacemanspiff85

    @Charles:
    I bet tomorrow we just see Jeff sitting at the table shouting “Eureka!” without knowing what the message is. Then Sunday’s strip will be unrelated, and maybe Monday Batiuk will get around to showing what the message is.

  21. On an unrelated note, I just found the perfect word to describe this mess: grimderp.

  22. Chicken Boo Radley

    It would be funnier if he was using a Big Chief tablet.