Maybe I’m Amazed…Then Again Maybe I’m Not

Link to today’s strip

Not much to see here today, folks. Yet another Starbuck Jones cover (is this the first real look at Jupiter Moon?) and an utterly pointless reality bubble featuring those two Crankshaft jerks everyone hates. Even in the middle of an arc about a modern SJ movie he’s managed to find a way to wallow in 1950s pop culture nostalgia. Makes you wonder why he bothered or what the point is, doesn’t it?

That really is quite a, uh, “provocative” cover for a child’s coloring book though, isn’t it? No wonder Jeff is still obsessed with it, I would imagine it led to some, uh, “interesting” moments during puberty. And on that note…..

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22 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

22 responses to “Maybe I’m Amazed…Then Again Maybe I’m Not

  1. spacemanspiff85

    There has to be something in Batiuk’s contract that says he actually has to draw or write part of his own strip. Otherwise what’s the point of the Pam and Jeff bubble? At this rate I don’t think it’s too long before the “dialogue” is “lorem ipsum”-esque filler text, or whatever letters Batiuk happens to hit when he mashes the keyboard.

  2. HeyItsDave

    Jesus, Jeff, no one is amazed at your short-bus-level ability to solve simple cryptograms with the aid of decoding tool AND knowing what eight of the letters were. What a goddamn moron. No wonder his mother hated him. He’s so stupid he probably almost drowned when he was being toilet trained.

    And, nice cover T-Bats. Thanks for shopping it out to a real artist AGAIN, further proving that Marvel was right on track when they slammed the door in your face. You don’t have the chops for a real comic book. By the way, what species of humanoid is Jupiter Moon? That’s some freaky-ass anatomy going on there below the belt. What the hell, the only women you comic tards have ever seen are Barbie dolls?

  3. So, once again Starbuck Jones seems to be using his female companion as a shield. Whatta hero!

    Amazing, too, is that Tom Batiuk filled a week of Funky Winkerbean strips without a single character from Funky Winkerbean. That is truly mind-boggling and, I would have to imagine, a first in the comic strip world.

  4. MJ

    What’s Funky doing here?

  5. Epicus Doomus

    This Jeff asshole blames his mother for screwing him up, but maybe (just maybe) it was all those hours “coloring” pictures of Starbuck and his freaky android sex-bot that warped his already-dysfunctional little mind. Alone in the attic all day, just Jeff, his special decoder ring, a stack of SJ comic books featuring Jupiter Moon…(shudder).

  6. Consider this: Russ Heath is 89 years old and his art still blows Batiuk’s out of the water. I met Russ Heath at a convention 14 years ago, and he struck me as a really cool old guy. He deserves much more than “a tip of the Funky Felt Tip”…

    Another note: Roy Lichtenstein made two paintings copying comic panels by Russ Heath. Batiuk can only wish that an imitation of his work could hang in a museum…

  7. spacemanspiff85

    @Epicus Doomus:
    It’s pretty damn pathetic that pretty much every supposed horrible thing Jeff’s mom did to him as a child essentially boiled down to not letting him enjoy Starbuck Jones. You really do start to think that Batiuk thinks the role of the female is just to hand the male cookies and milk as he reads comic books.

  8. Jimmy

    I viewed this as Jeff fantasizing about killing Pam with a laser gun. I don’t regret this interpretation, but I do regret now knowing who Jeff and Pam are.

  9. I’m starting to think Rose was right for stabbing that comic book. If only for the fact that the eye candy seems to be wearing an adult diaper.

  10. @Epicus Doomus: YES!!!!!! That IS what the stupid ape thinks. A woman’s job is to incritcally fawn over a moron enjoying the stupidest of junk culture and if she raises the slightest murmur of objection or says the evil words “For God’s sake, Tom….there’s more to life than these junky funny books or that ridiculous movie with cowboys and space monsters”, she’s an abusive monster. It’s like how Lynn Johnston tried telling people her mother was an SS camp guard because she (wait for it) wasn’t a mindless gusher of praise for inferior, phoned-in work.

  11. What irritates me is not just that he can never be asked to remember the needs of people who access this on-line (no doubt using the excuse that they’re not really reading it because they aren’t holding a newspaper) but that people who hold a paper sideways get stared at.

  12. Chyron HR

    Yes, Tom, that definitely looks like comic book art from the 1950s, you goddamned dolt.

  13. It looks as if Starbuck is holding Jupiter hostage and threatening to shoot her. It reminds me of the billboard for the latest X-Men movie wherein Apocalypse is strangling Mystique. The Roberta Blackburns of the 1950s would have a field day with this cover.

  14. Remember, hyoomahn females have a dimorphic hip girdle… Perfect!

  15. Gerard Plourde

    This cover looks like it would have gotten a mention in “Seduction of the Innocent”.

  16. Rusty Shackleford

    @dave, @epicus, @paul

    You guys nailed it. All I will add is that Batty sure loves to draw old people. Another reason why he didn’t get the gig at Marvel.

  17. This cover…this particular strip was the only reason that TB killed off Rose in Crankshaft – just so that Jeff would have a reason to still have a plastic ring from his childhood. It’s is so sad how little TB values his characters.

  18. HeyItsDave

    From the placement and position of those legs, I would say that Stupider Moon is built like a tripod and probably has a third leg growing out from behind (we can’t see it because of the angle.) Now I just gotta figure out, with three legs does that leave room for two sets of genitals and one ass, or two asses and one crotch? Damn, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ with my tongue out cuz this is a harder puzzle than one of T-Bats’ cryptograms,

  19. merrypookster

    ……and meanwhile Rex Morgan MD is getting deeper into the story of lost “comic books”

  20. Rusty Shackleford

    @dave

    I suspect the genitalia are surrounded by razor sharp teeth!

  21. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    C’mon guys let’s admit it. If Funky Winkerbean showed more gratuitous boobs it would at least be more enjoyable, no?

    Specially considering the last gratuitous nudity we saw was Crankshafts moldy ass.