School of Rock

Today’s Funky Winkerbean is an example of my least favorite  FW strip. I mean, I’m used to jokeless installments, or days at a time with no plot advancement, or bungled punchlines. But this crap just baffles me – I have no idea where T-Bats is going with this and by the time he meanders around to making a point I probably won’t even care.

So instead, I’m just going to wonder aloud why Tom can’t seem to draw his characters with any kind of consistency. Remember when Rachel was a ginger cutie? Well, I do, you philistines, and you can be reminded of it by looking at the center panel of this three-panel strip. For some reason, Rachel in panels one and three has sag lines around her eyes and an “I-forgot-to-put-my-teef-in-thiff-morning” mouth, but in panel two looks more or less like she used to a few years ago before Tom got sick of drawing her and shoved her to the back of the character rotation.

Funky’s got a new look today, too. Kind of reminds me of what it would look like if Silly Putty copulated with Mr. Potato Head and had the kid raised by Alfred Hitchcock.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

19 responses to “School of Rock

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Ugh, I couldn’t agree more. There’s no joke or even a trace of humor to be had here, as whatever this is supposed to be will only end up making sense (so to speak) within the context of whatever this story (so to speak) ends up becoming. It’s a perfect example of why BanTom’s serialized approach is the lazy man’s way out, nothing but endless padding and nonsensical filler. I have no idea whatsoever about what she’s jabbering about and I guarantee that by the time I find out I won’t care in the least.

  2. SpacemanSpiff85

    Really, Batiuk should just draw one panel a day and fill up the rest of the space with a massive “TO BE CONTINUED!!!!”. It’s obvious writing a strip every day is more than he’s willing to do.

  3. billytheskink

    “Where is this going?” is pretty far down the list of questions that come to my mind. It’s certainly behind:

    Who buys a buttermilk pie from Montoni’s?
    Who buys a Montoni’s t-shirt?
    Did Funky upgrade to Windows 10 while it was still free?
    Why does Rachel’s shirt pretend it has sleeves?
    When did Funky start chewing tobacco?
    Did Rachel’s head grow or did her body shrink in panel 2?
    How many months will it take Montoni’s to go through four delivery boxes?

  4. Gerard Plourde

    Speaking of size variation – yesterday the computer Funky was using appeared to be the size of a netbook. Today it’s a regular site laptop. I guess if it’s not bricks it’s not worth spending time on.

  5. So, Funky, who is apparently related to Wally (brother? cousin? nephew? grandchild?), and actually hired him to work at Montoni’s, has no idea what’s going on in his life.

    I take it back. This strip is totally realistic.

  6. Epicus Doomus

    BC: And Wally lives right upstairs, too. 1/4 inch from reality.

  7. Funky has no God-damned idea what’s going on with Wally because he’s a self-absorbed boomer nitwit whining about his favourite subject: himself.

  8. Saturnino

    “Really, Batiuk should just draw one panel a day and fill up the rest of the space with a massive “TO BE CONTINUED!!!!”.

    I have a better idea.

    How about:



  9. gleeb

    I don’t agree about Rachel. She’s been working at Montoni’s since at least 2000. Given a time-skip of about 10 years, and she’s around 45 years old. That much time on your feet pushing pizza will have an effect. And it’s definitely consistent with Batiuk’s main theme of age, decrepitude, and death.

  10. More disturbing is the fact that Rachel has apparently made a career out of being a waitress in a pizza restaurant on the day shift.

    So she’s helping Wally get ready to go back to school by attending a Monsters of Metal show? I’m guessing that means she’s giving him some alone time with Buddy so they can mentally prepare for dealing with the school crowds, or is she bringing Wally with her so he can acclimate himself to being among people? Is there going to be any point to this week’s strips?

  11. Rusty Shackleford

    I think Batty could send in blank strips and the syndicate wouldn’t care. What a racket.

  12. HeyItsDave

    OK, so I took the dialogue from Saturday’s Garfield and put it into today’s FW and I think things just got creepy.


    Funky appears to be devolving into a proboscis monkey before our very eyes.


    Hey It’s Dave –

    I wonder how Garfield improves with Funky Winkerbean dialogue?


    Crankshaft –

    I’m pretty sure Crankshaft is in negative numbers with the man upstairs. In fact these points are just to see if Crankshaft wind up in a more shallower level of hell.

  16. Rusty Shackleford


    The syndicate should be paying you!

  17. On the subject of Garfield, there’s a web site called Garfield Minus Garfield that takes the Garfield strips and removes Garfield from them. I think there would be some demand for a “Funky Winkerbean Minus Asshole” strip, where we take the daily strip and remove the hateful characters – so today’s strip would have Funky’s image surgically removed, and we’d just see Rachel taking to herself and folding pizza boxes, and last Sunday both Les and Funky would be missing and we’d just see 7 panels of the jogging trail in the park.

  18. Rusty Shackleford


    I don’t think Funky is an ass, but Les sure is. I say we make a program that switches the dialogue between Funky and Les.

  19. @Rusty – I would welcome the “I screwed up” “Yes you did” exchange with the roles reversed.

    Actually, I’d welcome Les’ severed head being kicked down the street, but I’ll take what I can get.