A Friend to the Animals

Link to today’s strip.

Just when you think hatred of Les Moore can’t possibly get any deeper, he steps up to the plate and knocks another one out of the park.

“It’s funny,” Les says, “but you’ve given me the opportunity to tell you how awesome I am, in that I beat Bull at tennis recently.”

Funky’s face in panel two:  Here it comes.

“Like you,” Les continues, “he’s just a loser through and through–unlike myself, naturally, who is awesome at everything and should be admired and given prizes.”

What a wonderful friend.  Say, Funky, what do you suppose Les says about you behind your back? You can be sure it isn’t complimentary!  Because you don’t deserve compliments.  Not like Les Moore.

Isn’t it just terrific that Les Moore condescends to share his time with the shuffling, gelid animals that inhabit Westview.  How nice it is of him to pat them on the head and offer stories of his life to offset their weak-kneed misery.  Without his presence, they might be happy never know the marvelous entity that is Les Moore.  Has any man done so much for those who deserve so little?  Allowing them to share his light, so that the shadows don’t fall so heavily on them…gosh!  What a guy!

Les Moore is the one thing in this strip that puts it straight into fantasy, because in real life, no one would have anything to do with this loathsome man.

Good Thing Watch:  Les’ head in panel one.  It looks like it’s been thoroughly wrung out by the Hulk.  A Scene We’d Like To See (tip of the felt tip to Mad magazine).




Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

15 responses to “A Friend to the Animals

  1. spacemanspiff85

    Mostly because you were being a huge asshole as Bull struggled to stay alive, Les.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    In fairness, I’d probably be enraged too if I had to endure Les’ gloating and flitting about on the tennis court. In fact I’d probably chase him down and assault him with a ball peen hammer as well. Well, actually no…there’s no “probably” about it.

    So where might THIS be going? Is Bull having trouble dealing with success? Color me shocked, after many decades of apathy he finally has to do his job properly and he’s struggling with it. Too bad Coach Stropp isn’t alive anymore, he could be Dinkle to Bull’s Becky, only with arms.

  3. ComicTrek

    Uh, Les? If my retcon memory serves me correctly, Bull only pretended to bully you, remember? Because WE DO.

  4. billytheskink

    I simply cannot come up with the words to do justice to today’s atrocity of a strip, so I’m going to shift gears.

    My dad retired last year, and one of the things he has done with his newfound free time is construct a little “coffee bar” in the kitchen to free up counter space. He’s had more customers over the last 12 months than Montoni’s…

  5. This isn’t salvaged by two rather obvious facts.

    1) Les is too fucking stupid to realize that Bull was having a mild heart attack.

    2) Les is too fucking lacking in self-awareness to understand what a condescending douchenozzle he comes across as being.

  6. “Bull is insanely competitive!” says man who gloated over winning a tennis match to a heart attack in progress.

  7. Rusty Shackleford

    I bet Batty is like this around his friends.


    Batiuk has friends?

  9. Rusty Shackleford

    I’m sure he has a group of suck ups from his Kent State days.

  10. 1966tvbatman

    Can we get Les in a dunk tank game where the liquid is acid?

  11. Hitorque

    Les naturally neglects to mention how he mercilessly goaded and taunted Bushka…


    If you’re sucking up to Tom Batiuk, you really need to reconsider your life choices.

  13. Comic Book Harriet

    @ Crankshaft. This joke is would almost funny. But trips horribly in the execution, where incompetence totally massacred it. The sign in the comic clearly says 80’s CARS and newer… which is in direct conflict with Cranky saying, “it JUST says 80’s and newer.” BATTY RUINED HIS OWN JOKE.

  14. spacemanspiff85

    @Rusty Shackleford:
    Or you know, the employees at his local comic store, who are stuck having to listen to him, probably every day.