You Can’t Un-Ring That Bell

Link to today’s strip

“After he hurt he knee he was never the same. He tried to compensate by running with his head, which resulted in literally many hundreds of concussions per game, not to mention neck and spine injuries galore. Of course we were all very concerned, but it was all just so damn funny. If not for the knee, the head injuries and those public intoxication and lewdness charges he probably could have made a name for himself in the USFL or maybe even the arena league.”

“Yeah, the constant idiocy, the incompetence, the bungling, the way he mis-remembered beating the crap out of me in high school…all the signs were there.”

Silent panel where they’re just staring at one another followed by the two of them laughing uproariously.

Get a load of Linda, piecing it all together after fifteen minutes of thumbing through old scrapbooks with Les. She’s practically Dr. House. It makes one wonder what the hell she was doing during the rest of her marriage, but apparently forgetting her at work was the straw that broke the dam, as TomBan might say. Even more alarmingly, no one has mentioned doctors or medical care yet, which does seem odd given that these two idiots are the guy’s wife and so-called best friend.

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15 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

15 responses to “You Can’t Un-Ring That Bell

  1. Meanwhile, Bull’s rage-fueled truck driving has forced seventeen cars off the road, eight bicyclists hurled into the ditch, two firetrucks slamming into one another in an attempt to form a roadblock, one baby being born in the back of a taxicab, and twenty-two police cruisers stacked one atop the other after a futile attempt to use the “flying wedge” to stop the truck. All accompanied by banjo music and shouts of “Yee-haaa!”

    But never mind that, we’ve got scrap-booking to do.

    I wonder what an 80’s action movie would be like as scripted by Tom Batiuk. People reading about high-speed chases and shoot-outs in the next day’s newspaper is what I guess.

  2. spacemanspiff85

    If Bull’s career ended up going nowhere, then how come there are so many full-color photos of him, apparently taken from somebody sitting on the football field a few feet away?

  3. Gerard Plourde

    How is it that Linda has such intimate knowledge of Bull’s career. Wasn’t she dating and later married to someone else at the time? According to the official site “She has a daughter Mickey from a previous marriage.”

  4. billytheskink

    Ah yes, nothing illustrates all of the “dings” Bull took following his knee injury better than a shot of him making a heads-up form tackle on a much-lighter defensive back.

    Speaking of leg injuries, check out the right calf and ankle on DB #12 compared to the left. That’s a terrifying amount of atrophy. I’m surprised he’s not returning this interception on crutches.

     
  5. A HREF

    Maybe this scrap-booking thing will turn into a cross over with Gasoline Alley? That scrap-booking arc in Gasoline Alley went on for days–I know scrap-booking and comic books and CTE!

    Oh, that will show Marvel! Get ’em Tom!

  6. ComicTrek

    But did they EVER talk about this stuff before? Yeah, we’ve heard about hazing a million times. But the injured knee, the memory loss, the head injuries. Bull has always been written as “slow”, especially in Act 1, so that doesn’t count. Could THIS be the anti-bullying arc after all? Either way, zzzzz…

  7. Meanwhile, Les could barely be less interested. What does this have to do with his endless loss?

  8. Smirks 'R Us

    for those that check in on Crankshaft as well, it looks like BatHack is going for the rare double-mangling of contemporary issues. Look out CTE and Patriot Act! What a treat for us readers.

  9. Maybe Bull will have a collision with Jessica and Skyler, who are apparently still driving around aimlessly in the rented moving van.

  10. sgtsaunders

    If Bull is missing in action, why are these two putzing around with scrapbooks?

  11. Jimmy

    Concussions didn’t sideline bull. It was his terrible technique. Square up and keep a base under yourself, son. A good blocking technique transfers to proper tackling. Points up for wrapping, though.

    Besides the fact that this storyline is utter bullshit, I get really annoyed that Batiuk pretends there isn’t a real, live EMU in Ypsilanti, Mich.

  12. Comic Book Harriet

    Linda: “The memory lapses are getting frightening. He keeps swearing up and down that we have a daughter somewhere named Jinx, (Jinx! Can you believe I he thinks I would name a child that?) who nobody has seen in years. He’s probably out there driving around looking for her right now. Pretty crazy right?”

    Crankshaft: Okay..So they’re referencing the Patriot Act. It makes the ten-year-gap more believable when the topical references in Cranky are also ten-years-old.

  13. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    Um, what the fuck does his knee have to do with concussions? Where the hell are you going with this, Batiuk.

    I almost think that Tom is reading this site and keeps realizing we guessed what was going to happen.

    Tom : ” Ooh, I am going to do a heart attack plotline and wow audiences with this death! Wait, what?? Damn it, those ingrates on SOSF figured out my plot! Ooh, I know!! CTE!! Topical! Pulitzer here I come!! Damn it, those heathens on SOSF figured that one out again…what do I do know???!

  14. spacemanspiff85

    I think at least part of the reason for this story is so he can use the stupid scrapbook borders without being mocked for it.

  15. The Dreamer

    So Bull hurt his knee! Thats why he never got drafted by the NFL and had to come back to Westview to coach the lowly Scapegoats (as it was the only job he could find). It is also why Les “world’s worst athlete, can’t climb a rope” Moore now whips him in Tennis and runs circles around him jogging!