Starbuck John’s

Hitorque
September 12, 2016 at 8:47 am
…Stills? Seriously? Any real comic geek would have long since downloaded a choppy, post-production print just to see what scenes didn’t make it into the final edit…

What Hitorque says makes sense. I’m no fervid fanboy, but a buddy of mine once showed me a bootleg, pre-release rough cut of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Some of the SFX had yet to be added, and you could still see the wires and harnesses on the stuntmen performing jumps. It was kinda cool. But is piecing together a movie’s plot from stills really a thing? How does one determine “the correct order”?

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17 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

17 responses to “Starbuck John’s

  1. spacemanspiff85

    If enough stills have been leaked that you can figure out the movie’s entire plot, something’s wrong.
    Also, couldn’t one of these two just call up Mason and ask him what the plot is? Knowing this strip he’s probably sitting cross-legged off panel reading The Flash and eating cookies Holly baked for him.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    Guess John needs something to do in between his bi-monthly customer visit. Looks like we’re in for a compelling look at online jerks who spoil things for regular noble fanboys who can wait for the official release instead of using the evil internet for nefarious purposes. Oh…boy!

  3. 1966tvbatman

    Look at it this way – Mike Manley has uploaded enough sketches for Judge Parker that I know what’s going to happen in the comic strip for the next two months.

  4. billytheskink

    Did DSH really need to do all of this to figure out the plot of the film? This is the first feature-length Starbuck Jones movie, the plot will be whatever his origin story is in the generally accepted comic book canon, just like the first film of EVERY tent pole superhero movie franchise these days.

  5. Today’s strip is actually kind of funny. Well, no, but at least it has a recognizable punchline. So kudos for that.

  6. Gerard Plourde

    “Any real comic geek would have long since downloaded a choppy, post-production print just to see what scenes didn’t make it into the final edit”

    True. But given that this is Westview, we shouldn’t discount the possibility that DSH only has a dial-up connection and getting video would take days.

  7. ComicTrek

    More like a “still” to “not funny”.

  8. 1966tvbatman

    Someone’s learning how to smirk like a dick.

  9. John isn’t smart enough to realize he’s in for a bastardized version of the origin story. Piecing that together is going to freak the idiot out.

  10. Rusty Shackleford

    You don’t need any stills to figure out a FW plotline…that’s cause there is never a plot.

    At least the bricks were back.

  11. @billytheskink: One thing’s for certain–we’ll never know the plot of the Starsuck movie, because BatHack doesn’t have the slightest idea what it might be. Nor will we ever see the sacred “production stills” that are on Crazy Harry and DSH’s phones… unless, of course, Battyuck can bribe or blackmail a competent comic-book artist into drawing one or two of them for the next Sideways Sunday.

    But credit where it’s due: Batcrack did a masterful job today of rendering his true interest: the bricks. They are magnificent!

  12. Rusty

    Unseen last panel: John-“Strangely enough, I’ve never seen a woman naked.”

  13. A smirking DSH is right up there with the smirking Les Moore as the most detestable image I can see in a FW strip (and that’s a pretty high bar).

    Meanwhile, Crankshaft has abandoned the neglected child arc (I guess there were zero repercussions from Crankshaft’s egregious act of malicious incompetence) and dived straight into batshit insanity.

  14. Hitorque

    Okay, it’s official… These are two of the most pathetic comic geek fanbois in recorded history…

    1. They could have gone up to Cleveland at any time to actually *WATCH* the movie being filmed (especially since it was well established that Mason and the director weren’t too particular about who wandered on the set and even entertained their random suggestions — i.e., Holly)…

    2. 99% of comic superhero movies are based on either the canon origin story, or some other famous storyline/adventure that most fans already know by heart… There shouldn’t be any mystery on what this movie is about…

  15. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    This is really taking “show don’t tell” to new heights.

  16. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    Crankshaft:

    While I absolutely hate “Family Guy” style humor, this one is equally stupid because it makes no sense.

    Even the most casual sci-fi fan knows that the Predators concept is that they are trophy hunters. They do not go after unarmed people, much less fucking empty buses.

    Though don’t get me wrong., Crankshaft’s being skinned alive and hung upside down would always be welcome.

  17. batgirl

    Can’t John just ask Darren/whatever for the plot? Hell, for photocopies of the storyboards. I’m kind of surprised Pete-whosit isn’t hanging out in the shop, bellyaching about the horrible changes he was forced to make in the script.