Flop Secret

Naturally Pete Rafalowski frequents whichever fanboy gossip site John’s posted to, even while he’s on the set of The Upcoming Starbucks Jones Movie. My favorite thing about today’s strip is how Mason “Jarre”, so blasé in the first two panels, appears completely taken aback in panel three. Even the little Superman curl on his forehead is sticking out, like a miniature version of Cindy’s high school hairdo.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

25 responses to “Flop Secret

  1. Behold: this is what Tom Batiuk chooses to be consistent about, the little sticky note with an “E,” taped to Mason’s chair. That, my friends, is what he struggles to get absolutely right every time, for he knows the strip stands or falls based on that.

    As for the plot, anyone can figure out what it’s going to be. Starbuck Jones, Jupiter Moon, Moon Mile Meek, Moon Mullins and Keith Moon will sit around talking about comic books and “Lisa’s Story.” Sometimes they will say how awesome they found a particular issue. And when the Space Boss barges in, cigaroid in hand, to tell them to fight space crime, they will bitch and moan and dwell on “back in the day” when space crime fighters had to fight crime.

    And the running time will be about five hours and change.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    So does Pete just write the film as it goes along? I can’t believe they’re STILL shooting this thing, I mean how complicated could it possibly be? And does anyone else find BanTom’s constant reliance on this “inside movie making” stuff to be as annoying as I do? What the hell does he know about it anyhow?

  3. spacemanspiff85

    I know making a movie takes a while, but I’m pretty sure the filming process doesn’t go on this long. It doesn’t seem like there’s any possible way this movie could actually make money now.

  4. 1966tvbatman

    So nearly everyone in this comic strip is a fucking dick – is that it? I hope Dead Skunk gets his ass handed to him.

  5. billytheskink

    So DSH pieced together all the leaked stills and posted a plot summary online in a day or so, without once daydreaming about what it must have been like to spoil movies in the 40s and 50s… Maybe Mason should have hired him instead of Pete.

  6. Gerard Plourde

    As beckoningchasm points out, Batty won’t forget that Mason is still toying with the idea of changing the spelling of his last name (He can’t have made any official move, like filing a petition in court to officially change his name, since the “E” is affixed with the omnipresent sloppy tape job.)

    But while he can’t resist that detail, he leaves the gaping plot hole that would explain why DSH John would want to jeopardize a movie that is employing his friends and which filmed locally. Did Mason refuse to do a personal appearance? Did Pete fail to pay sufficient homage to the wellspring that introduced him to his pulpy passion?

    Or did Batty’s real-world order get screwed up once too often at the comics store and he’s getting back at the owner by making his fictional alter-ego a jerk?

  7. spacemanspiff85

    Honestly though, if people can apparently accurately guess the plot of your movie from a few leaked stills, and without hearing any of the dialogue, your movie probably didn’t have much of a plot to begin with.

  8. spacemanspiff85

    Especially since these are leaked production stills without any effects, so I’ve got to imagine all they are is Mason standing around talking to himself a lot. Occasionally with Jupiter, too.

  9. Sightings of Marianne Winters: still zero.

  10. Well, there is a remedy: calling in legal to sue John into the Stone Age.

  11. Chyron HR

    “Oh no! People weren’t supposed to know the movie’s entire plot until they saw the trailers!”

  12. Charles

    Hey now, give Batiuk some slack! He managed to continue the plot line past Wednesday this week! That’s what, the first time this month he’s done that?

    I still can’t get over how the big star continues to hang out with the loser screenwriter on the set, with the director or Mason’s co-stars nowhere in sight. Normally the two would have very little to do with one another, but one person both of them would be working closely with, as would Dorkin as well, would be the director. No big surprise that we’ve never seen them have a conversation with the oddly-shaped stand-in that we all assume is the director. We can only assume because Batiuk never made that explicit.

  13. ComicTrek

    Dudes–who cares? As long as you’re getting paid, right?

    Never mind, this is Westview. Where the small stuff is a big deal, and the big stuff doesn’t matter unless it involves cancer or Lisa.

  14. bayoustu

    I like how Pete Rosenwig feels compelled to specify “The Starbuck Jones movie”- as if he and Mason are working on so many direct-to-Iphone-movies simultaneously that they can’t keep them straight!

  15. I’m thinking that the only way a person could be sued for revealing a film’s storyline would be if that person signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement. Otherwise, he’s using publicly available material and speculating.

    Don’t misunderstand, if there was a way to send John to jail, I’d be all for it. But I think Harry Knowles (The “Aint It Cool News” guy) does this all the time and is still walking around free.

  16. Frank Bolton

    Given Batiuk’s attention to detail on the most meaningless things, the much more depressing possibility is that rather than being lazy he just has completely lopsided priorities.

  17. Hitorque

    Oh, I know this Funkyverse song-and-dance number by now…

    Batiuk manufactures a crisis/panic over something that would never be a crisis/panic among us normals, and after drawing the situation out for a month, he engineers either a non-ending or the most outrageous and illogical solution he can imagine…

    This tactic has been used countless times by other comics authors, but more often than not when other authors do this, they try to inject some, you know, HUMOR into the absurdity — While Batiuk is always hellbent on playing it straight, which is odd since he always has such a tenuous, half-assed understanding of whatever subject matter is at hand (i.e., Hollywood, technology, sports, high school, college, book publishing, marching bands, comics geekdom, etc.)

    Also, these clowns aren’t ever going to finish this movie, are they? It’s only $200 million over budget and 30 months late…


    The only reason for these two to be concerned is that they know the movie is complete shit. Having leaked info on you movie will only help increase publicity. There is no downside to having the plot leaked if the movie is good. Hell, people have leaked info on purpose to help gain publicity.

  19. @Gerard Plourde: I have this horrible feeling that it plays out this way: DSH’s exposing the plot precipitates a crisis on the set and causes CME to stop production. The principals then invoke some obscure clause of movie making (misunderstood by BatHack in the manner of “Kill Fee”) so that the Cancerdeathville contingent makes out OK. They all (including Masone Jarre) return to Worstview to live miserably ever after…

    BUT… the crash-and-burn of the movie leads a major comic publisher to bring back “Starsuck Jones” (along with some other “classic” Batom titles). The first issue of the resurrected “Starsux” makes its premiere at Komix Korner, followed immediately by a “release party” at Montoni’s (attended, of course, only by the strip’s regular characters, unless some of TomBat’s “friends” buy their way into the background).

    Les smirks.


    Crankshaft –

    I think Tommy is confusing the Predator for the Terminator.

  21. Meanwhile, over at Crankshat, I’m getting more convinced this will just turn out to be Keesterman’s dream sequence. Still, if he gives us a graphic panel of Ed being dismembered by the TrademarkMonsterNator, I’m all for it. I keep a copy of the Dead Durwood panel. It always picks me up in times of stress and despair (like reading today’s strip).

  22. Smirks 'R Us

    Jarr”E”: Leaked on the internet!?! Who did it?

    Slippery Pete: Mason, no one ever uses their real names on the internet. The poster’s user name is “John from the Komix Korner in Westview”. Good luck trying to track that guy down.

  23. Hitorque

    @beckoningchasm: Yeah, what happened to all those “Cindy is so petty, shallow, insecure and jealous” bullshit strips that were leading to an inevitable confrontation with Marianne?

  24. Hitorque

    1. Like I said, I know Batiuk manufactures bullshit crises because drama and storytelling and real life or something, but I’m hard pressed to see how a speculative plot leak for something this far in production hurts the studio one iota… First of all, any self-respecting comic geek already has a general idea of the plot, because comic books are not that complex — Hell, all anyone really has to do is look at the cast to see which superhero allies/villains are featured… Secondly, countless big budget movies with huge fanboi followings have been spoiled before release, and that didn’t stop anyone from going to the theater… Finally, comic fanbois *ALWAYS* go to see their favorite heroes no matter how bad it fucking is (i.e., Batman v. Superman), so the studio is guaranteed to reap profits — Which is why Hollywood has been hellbent on over-saturating us with this silliness 3-4 times a year for the past 15 years…

    2. Why is Pete surfing the innernettes instead of, you know, WORKING?? I’ve never seen this asshole do any real work, like ever… And where is his lazy worthless bromance buddy? I thought they were like Frick and Frack?

    3. Why would Masone even give a shit? When we last saw him, all he cared about was how much Oscar buzz he could get if he added an “E” on the end of his name…

  25. Jason

    No no no, it’s not a secret. It’s just that nobody cares.

    Big difference.