To The Moon, Alice

Despite hatching the title “In The Clutches Of Queen Morphine!”, TB breaks from his typical tone in today’s strip. Yes, what sounds like the title of an Act II addiction-awareness pamphlet written by Mopey Pete, or something else right up TB’s alley, is actually a setup for some cheesecake space action. Weird.

Anyways, Cindy is still jealous, Mason still oblivious, and this whole Starbuck Jones movie deal is still ridiculous. There was no resolution this week… I’m afraid to see what might come next. Walt Kelly help us all.

I would like to thank everyone but Tom Batiuk for these last couple of weeks. Taking over tomorrow will be, your friend and mine, the nonpareil DavidO.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

20 responses to “To The Moon, Alice

  1. Epicus Doomus

    “Queen Morphine”? Does that make BanTom “King Xanax”? Check out Cindy seething in the reality bubble, talk about flogging a premise.

  2. I’m kind of baffled by this artwork. It looks like Jupiter is trying to shoot Queen Evil, but I thought Jupiter was one of the good guys who would never just haul off and shoot someone. It would make more sense for Queen to be the shooter, and for Jupiter to be the deflector.

    On the other hand, maybe this is Neal Adams getting back at Tom Batiuk for calling him a piece of candy.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    I bet Batiuk was just looking for a word that rhymed with Queen and went with morphine, probably forgetting what it was.
    Really, though, this Starbuck Jones thing is ridiculous now. It started as some obscure, little known franchise. I could’ve sworn they added Jupiter Moon to the movie after they started production. I’m positive they did, because I remember Pete and Darin freaking out about it. This despite the fact that she was apparently a significant, popular enough character to have her own ongoing series that lasted for over 123 issues? Come on, Batiuk. If your writing’s not going to be funny or interesting, it could at least be consistent.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    spacemanspiff85: The whole SJ mythology is so laughably poor. How hard would it have been to just loosely sketch out the SJ “story” and keep that continuity an ongoing thing in the strip? It shows you just how lazy BatHack really is, he lovingly creates a fictional comic book saga based on the comics he enjoyed as a youth yet can’t be bothered to do anything even mildly creative or interesting with it at all.

  5. @spacemanspiff85 – I think Jupiter Moon was added as a character by Balding McCigarchomp in one of those “back in the day” fantasies. You know–where the editor would come up with idiotic ideas that were pooh-pooh’d by the true creative staff…only to have Jupiter Moon become a key character in the whole franchise. Meaning, the buffoon had the really great ideas, while the “artists” just complained about having to work at all.

    In other words, Tom Batiuk negates his entire premise, every single time.

  6. Charles

    The whole SJ mythology is so laughably poor. How hard would it have been to just loosely sketch out the SJ “story” and keep that continuity an ongoing thing in the strip?

    He probably did, but pretty much right from the beginning he started going back on it. Just like he originally made Mason a guy known for not getting the role of Starbuck Jones, a television actor working for a crappy television studio, who now has a $20 million Malibu beach house, unlimited assets, a charter plane on 24 hour standby, and is one of the most famous actors in the world.

    Anyway, it’s amusing how Cindy doesn’t know what ACTING is. Jesus, if she’s going to marry the guy she should probably get an idea of what he does for a living.

  7. spacemanspiff85

    What makes it much, much more bizarre is that he has literally written and posted a detailed history of the fictional comic book company writing Starbuck Jones. The actual Starbuck Jones stories themselves are what you’d think would be interesting and worth writing and creating a backstory for. But no, obviously not.

  8. Epicus Doomus

    Batom’s Act III Cindy character not only does away with years of strip continuity and character development, but she manages to degrade women AND pretty much every person over fifty at the same time while managing to entertain absolutely no one aside from the sick f*ck in Ohio who apparently enjoys rendering Cindy as a seething cauldron of jealous insecure sex rage, which I assume he’s doing strictly for some sort of depraved “kick” or something.

    Seriously though, it’s like Tomban was so busy with his (obviously quite distracting) Starbuck Jones fantasy world again that he forgot how Cindy had that lengthy career as a major network TV news journalist and all, so he didn’t find it odd in the least that Cindy would be reduced to the level of a sixteen year old girl catching her boyfriend making out with that trashy sophomore girl under the bleachers just because she visited a movie set. It stopped being merely stupid after the first panel of the first arc it began in, now it’s just sort of perverse and weird. What is it about a fifty year old woman boiling over with insecure jealous rage over her rapidly fading looks and the hot attractive bodies of her much younger Hollywood hunk’s coworkers that he finds so damn funny?

  9. …and what’s Neal thanking “Woody” for at the bottom of his drawing? Or is he thanking TomBat for giving him a woody? Enquiring minds want to know.

  10. It’s worse than simply making her look like a catty rage-beast who gets jealous of wallpaper patterns. This cribbing from Nick’s The Loud House is obviously heading for a very stupid pay-off in which she gets publicly humiliated and dies in a gutter, regretting having driven Funky to drink and not letting him set the agenda because Batiuk is an old food who never got over his festering sense of entitlement.

  11. @Hannibal’s Lectern:
    I think Neal Adams’ thanks to “Woody” means that this cover is intended as an homage to the 1950s science-fiction comics drawn by Wally Wood. So we’ve got an homage to an homage to an homage, or something…

  12. Rusty Shackleford

    Nice use of a thesaurus Batty.

  13. A HREF

    I thought Judge Parker was the strip for bewbies.

  14. Hey, Cindy, if you’re going to flip our every time Mason is called on to kiss an actress on set, you probably shouldn’t date an actor. Just saying.

  15. Rusty

    Imagine how she’d react to Mason’s prior career in porn. A man’s gotta pay the bills.

  16. HeyItsDave

    OK, we get it, T-Bats. You’ve been pounding this “OMG CINDY IS SO JELLY” crap all week, to the point where you’ve made her a rude, catty bitch instead of the respected media professional she’d always been before Masone Jarre came into her life.

    But “Queen Morphine”? WTF, that doesn’t make the least bit of sense for her character (unless you’re hinting that Cindy is some kind of poisonous addiction that Masone is soon going to quit, but let’s face it, your storytelling is about as subtle as a brick to the face so I doubt you ever considered that.)

    @spacemanspiff85 – I can just picture this grinning idiot at his drawing board, furrowed brow, tongue sticking out, wide-lined primary school notebook and thick Crayola kindergarten crayon in hand, trying to think of Evil Villianess Names that might rhyme with “Queen…” “Green Bean?” “Spleen?” “Preen?”

  17. Don

    Resolution? It gets made, gets released sometime next year, most likely to horrible crash-and-burn reviews, and the writers end up winning a Razzie that gets stuck in background scenes.

  18. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Very confusing little round insert in the corner. It looks like MasonnE and Marianne Wankers are smooching OFF the set, in that offstage area occupied by the director and actors who aren’t in the scene. I mean, he has one of those folding chairs right next to him! Yet, the lights and the microphones are pointed at them. So is this part of the movie, or have the two decided they needed to “rehearse” their kissing just as Jealous Rage Gurl comes sniffing around?

    We naive, ignorant, unappreciative non-cartoonists foolishly await some kind of big payoff from this storyline, like a major blowup between these two nitwits. Who WOULDN’T read Cindeeee the Riot Act about showing up at his job and being ignorant and rude to his co-workers? Who wouldn’t remind her that this is what he does to pay for that Porsche and Malibu beachfront estate, and she better just learn to trust him or GTFO?

    Anyway, that’s what SHOULD happen next. More likely, this entire silly episode will be totally forgotten as if it never happened, and we’ll shift abruptly (without a clutch) to Leslie and Funky jogging, or Dinkle smirking over lame band puns.Because that’s how BattySick rolls — Every time he has a chance to do something interesting, he loses interest in the story and jerks abruptly to something else.

    It’s called “writing.” Just kick back and enjoy what The Master condescends to offer us.

  19. Rick Brooks

    Erich is right. Neal Adams is acknowledging the influence of Wally Wood on his drawing. As for Adams himself – he is one of the most influential comic book artists of the past fifty years. His career began in the early sixties at advertising house Cushing/Johnstone. After that Adams wrote and drew the Ben Casey comic strip. At the age of 21 he was one of the youngest cartoonists to ever have his own strip. He went on to a ground breaking career at both DC and Marvel. Past Funky Felt Tippers have included talented craftsmen like Joe Staton, Don Perlin, and Russ Heath, but here Batiuk has reeled in a truly legendary figure to do his work for him. It makes me inexplicably sad.

  20. Very true, Rick. In fact, my reaction when I first saw this was “You had the opportunity to have NEAL ADAMS draw something for you–and THIS is what you asked for?”