A Door, a Jarre

Ah, the Director Guy. We hardly know anything about him; not his name (the back of his director’s chair just says “Director“), nor when his hair color tuned from blue-black to brown. But today we learn that Director Guy’s got some temper! It must stem from frustration over how little control he has over this project. His leading man takes it upon himself to cast extras and fly his friends around. The leading man’s fiance hangs around the set an interferes with a scene. Another take is nearly ruined when errant school bus rolls into a crucial location shot. A mole from a gossip website sets up shop on the set and is permitted to remain there after he blows his own cover. It’s enough to make your face break out in weird halftone blotches!



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

14 responses to “A Door, a Jarre

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Lest we forget, this is all happening within the span of a few hours. Mason is returning from his date with Marianne right now and the DMZ report has already aired, which means that Frankie immediately sent DMZ the footage which they immediately edited and aired in the time it took Mason to meander his way back to his job. It just lends an extra layer of implausibility to the proceedings, not there was a need for another one, but still. The attention to lack of detail in FW always amazes me.

  2. Is this part of the Lisa’s Legacy 10th anniversary? Cos this seems like the same “dialogue” Les used way back when–“What happened? I mean, I know what happened, but what happened!”

    Like some rock star that is way past his prime, but is still out there on the oldies circuit, just play that greatest hit over and over. That’ll prove you’re someone to be contended with, and not some sad nobody that had a chance and blew it on a stupid concept album.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    Yeah, because if you had a big movie being released soon, you definitely wouldn’t want your star getting lots of publicity.

  4. billytheskink

    If Mr. Director’s name isn’t Alan Smithee, it will be by the time this movie is finished.

    Anyways, he should be careful here. Everything we’ve seen thus far indicates that Mason could have him replaced with the wave of his hand. Jarre would probably give the job to Mooch Meyers too, just because Pete and Durwood knew him in high school.

  5. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    P1 “Where have you been?”
    P2 “I thought you were saving yourself for me!”
    P3 “Do you like the way the rouge enhances my cheekbones? Pucker up!”

  6. The truly implausible thing is that we’re expected to believe that people will stay away from the film because of this bullshit affair. Batiuk is truly stupid if he thinks that’s a parsec removed from reality.

  7. sgtsaunders

    Look, it’s Jarre-Jarre’s version of Les’ Stank Yellow Shirt ®..


    *GASP*!! The director’s two attractive young stars actually were attracted to one another and had relations outside of shooting hours??!!! That has never happened in the history of films??!!! GEEZ…that is terrible and will ruin this overrun, over-budget shoot. Geez, next you’ll be telling me that movie stars will be having drug abuse problems. A great director can’t handle pressure like that!!!

  9. Gerard Plourde

    I know the 24-hour news cycle moves fast, but it’s not at all plausible that this would be reported this quickly after being submitted by Frankie. Also, as was noted in an earlier posting, the peck on the cheek that Marianne Winters gave Masone Jarre is hardly romantic. And how did Frankie get the the passionate kiss picture which is definitely from the filming and would have to have been taken on the closed set?

  10. Rusty Shackleford

    Pretty sad when Mary Worth is more interesting. As mentioned yesterday, there is something about to go down over there.

  11. ComicTrek

    @beckoningchasm: That is exactly what I thought! I never cared for the way he reuses, redraws, and re(t)cons lines so many times it’s not even funny.


  12. Hitorque

    Why the fuck would the director give a shit? This is only going to boost ticket sales, assuming they ever finish shooting the damn movie… He knows the “dead girl/live boy” rule…

  13. Professor Fate

    it’s 2016 and it’s the movies – would anybody care? Anybody? Anybody at all? Again it’s 2016 and this isn’t Elizabeth Taylor dumping Eddie Fisher for Richard Burton (which only helped to hype the movie they were both in) this is a brain dead space opera. Honestly I wouldn’t have cared if the Guardians of the Galaxy were all having sex every night (even Groot) unless this is some sort of children’s fare this doesn’t matter.

  14. The Merry Pookster

    So DMZ thinks they can just make stuff up and have it published?
    Who do they think they are…Batiuk?