Dawn We Now Our Realizations

There have been three instances in this comic strip where Marianne has spoken multiple consecutive complete sentences. THREE. All occurred within a week of each other back in early October. Mason was present for all three. One involved Marianne talking about how great working with Mason is and in the other two she talked about how her single mother dreamed of being an actress and now lives vicariously through her (and also that the Hollywood sign holds a special importance to her). This makes up the bulk of us readers’ interaction with Marianne.

One particularly astute commenter last week (I wonder who that was…) pondered whether or not Mason would remember this conversation with Marianne and rush off to save the day. Today’s strip answers that question with a resounding “yes”.

It begs more questions though, particularly why Mason did not relay his realization to the police officer who was standing right next to him in yesterday’s strip. You know, the police officer with the radio, who works for the department that has officers sitting in running cars minutes from Marianne’s presumed location… might be a good guy to tell.

Instead, Mason has chosen to dash off like a 1950s football player posing for a promotional photo and give no specifics about Marianne’s presumed location. Makes you wonder if he really wants her found.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

27 responses to “Dawn We Now Our Realizations

  1. Gerard Plourde

    Not to mention that the LAPD also has helicopters that patrol as well and wouldn’t run the risk of being stuck in traffic.

  2. You don’t understand; telling the police wouldn’t be DRAMATIC enough! Because this is an IMPORTANT story about VERY SERIOUS ISSUES and it must be DRAMATIC because that’s how you get AWARDS!

  3. Epicus Doomus

    Yup, Mason bolts from the room, dragging Cindy behind him, instead of just TELLING the cop where he thinks she is. Just like how Boy Lisa ran into his bio-dad at his job and never mentioned it to anyone, the laws of logic just do not apply in the Batiukiverse. Witness how long it’s taking Marianne to fall, for example.

    The black & white…why? Does it signify anything or is it some sort of woefully misguided attempt at creating atmosphere? The B&W, the wavy borders, usually that stuff is there for a reason or so you’d think.

  4. I could accept Mason rushing out to be the hero, if these characters were likeable and the story interesting. As I’ve said, the details don’t have to be perfect if you’re enjoying the story.

    Lotta “if”s up in that paragraph, and none of them are fulfilled.

  5. louder

    Now, this just reminds me of the “Scrubs” Christmas episode, where the pregnant teen-ager was found at her ‘safe place’, and the final scene was the characters are placed around her like in a manger. Please TomHack, do not have a manger scene re-enactment! but this story is so schlocky, that I just know we’re going there.

  6. billytheskink

    Hold it? Hold what, Mason? You and everyone else we’ve seen have been standing around while the police and “studio people” are supposedly out looking for Marianne.

  7. Charles


    It’s amazing how when you think it can’t get any stupider, it somehow does. Nice action panel of Mason in panel 2, Batiuk. Did you get one of your overweight 65 year-old friends to model it for you? Add that and his ridiculous balding-spit curl hairstyle to Mason’s withered face in panel 1 and are we really sure he’s younger than Cindy? I simply can’t imagine someone under the age of 55 looking like Mason.

    Also, the only amusement I get out of this strip is the temporal fuckup between panel 2 and 3.

    “I know where we can find Marianne!”
    (Seventeen minutes pass as Mason finally lumbers over to his car, inexplicably dragging Cindy with him)
    “At her Safe Place!” (note the unnecessary capitalization that is supposed to mean something important but instead just makes this all the more melodramatic)

  8. spacemanspiff85

    That second panel is by the far the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in this strip.

  9. Charles

    Putting Mason in the position of playing the role Les has played twice (I may be mistaken, but didn’t Les scream in two separate occasions how he could get Susan and Lisa to the hospital faster than an ambulance? I know he did it at least once) made me think about something though.

    Look back over the strips in 2012 and 2013, for example, The Gay Prom, or Les’s Wedding, or Frankie Comes Back and Annoys Darrin and Les, etc.. Plenty of you were here at that time contributing significantly. Now imagine if you were to be told back then that Batiuk would create a new character in 2014 who would become the de facto main character of the strip. A completely new character would take up the lion’s share of the strip’s time, and would be the focus of those strips in which he appears.

    Would you have believed it? I suspect a bunch of us would have thought that Batiuk would have created new high schoolers and would have gone back to his original premise. Or perhaps he follows Summer to KSU and sets the strip around Summer’s new cadre of friends, finding one more interesting that the others. Or maybe he moves away from Becky and introduces Dinkle v2.0.

    But then, Glamourous Movie Star is tapped to play Les in the film version of Lisa’s Story and said Star becomes the new central character probably would have been more than one person’s guess.

  10. Once again, we see how his obsessive love for stupid-ass Silver Age DC Comics has destroyed his brain. The reason this looks so familiar and so blasted stupid and implausible is that Mason might as well be going up against Captain Boomerang. Let character development, plausibility and consistency of character be kept far away from us in the Hell that is Marvel Comics, Batiuk’s giving us what he stupidly thinks is writing.

  11. Saturnino

    “At her Safe Place!”

  12. Smirks 'R Us

    Who’s the old guy in panel 2?

  13. Rusty

    This is predictable, of course, but that doesn’t make it any less stupid.

  14. I guess that, with the black-and-white, wavy frames, and yesterday’s nonsensical comic book cover, TB is going for a “film noir” effect. He’s aiming for The Big Sleep but he’s hitting The Big Snooze.

  15. I think the black and white look is Tom Batiuk admitting at last that his strip, stories and characters are all “colorless.”

  16. Don

    But…but…she’s already climbed down and is probably on her way back as we speak…hasn’t she?

  17. hitorque

    1. Wouldn’t Marianne’s mom already know this and told the police as much?

    2. Wouldn’t Marianne’s long line of former co-stars/sexual conquests already know this and told the police as much?

  18. Professor Fate

    This painfully reminds me of the last act of a very bad movie – Track of the Moonbeast where Paul the titular Moonbeast has retreated to his safe space on top of a hill somewhere to await his fate – First, Paul’s girlfriend and then his friend Johnny longbow (he’s an American Indian don’t ask) remember where his safe space is and rush there, his girlfriend trying to keep him from killing himself and Johnny (and the police) rush there as well. Once there, Johnny shoots him with an arrow that reduces him to ashes (again don’t ask).
    It’s dumb and stupid and was ridiculed without mercy by MST3K.
    Still, if Mason Jarre or Cindy shoots Marianne with an arrow that would be awesome.


    “Sure, Masone!!…. Hey Wait a minute???!!!! How do YOU know about such an intimate detail about what her SAFE PLACE is???”

  20. hitorque

    I forgot to add that not only was yesterday’s comic cover the best art I’ve seen so far, it was also the most useless, unnecessary and inconsequential to the plot cover that I’ve seen so far…

  21. hitorque

    @spacemanspiff85: Can the actors in this goddamned strip at least look and dress like they’re successful actors? And can Cindy start acting like a professional journalist by not wearing her little black “fuck me” dress during an interview? For that matter, can she start acting her age at least? How is any casual reader supposed to assume that Cindy and Marianne aren’t both in their early 20s?

  22. hitorque

    @Epicus Doomus: I know it’s too much to ask for TB to sew up all the Grand Canyon-sized holes in continuity and logic, but I don’t give a shit — The ONE THING I need Batiuk to reconcile is WHY ‘the entire internet’ completely lost its shit with their slut-shaming over a peck on the cheek while not caring about Marianne seducing (and presumably having sexual intercourse with) her previous co-stars…

    And while I’m making wishes, it would be nice if Batiuk could explain just why Cindy gives a shit when she has clearly wanted to stab Marianne with a sharp object for months…

    And of course there’s the age-old unresolved issue of Marianne living with her moms…

    I have never written or e-mailed an author before, but I’m this close to sending these questions to Batiuk directly, and asking him what in fuck’s name is he thinking…

  23. Charles

    Instead, Mason has chosen to dash off like a 1950s football player posing for a promotional photo and give no specifics about Marianne’s presumed location. Makes you wonder if he really wants her found.

    I think he wants her to be found on his terms. He wants to be the hero and the center of attention. He doesn’t want some dumb flatfoot getting credit for saving her.

    Makes him a good successor to Les, in fact. This sort of reprehensible act designed to lionize himself is just the sort of thing Les would do. I wrote about Batiuk potentially bringing in a Dinkle V2.0, but in fact, Mason is Les V2.0.

  24. DOlz

    I don’t care about her Safe Place. I want to know what the Safe Word is so TB stops torturing us with his drivel.


    @DOlz It’s not so much a safe word as much as it is a written admission by SOSF posters that he is “the greatest literary genius of our time”

  26. Epicus Doomus

    It might make some sense if he’d prefaced this a little…”Marianne has often been the target of online abuse”…or something along those lines. Instead though, she just decides to end it all after ONE negative (and relatively harmless) story, which makes the character seem deranged at best. What happens if she doesn’t jump? Does she just go back to work like everything is fine now?

  27. @epicusdoomus Good question. If her mental state is this fragile, the producers might decide she’s too much of an insurance risk, and…oh, who am I kidding, using facts and reason!