Smearing The Mess

Link to today’s strip.

Okay, as I mentioned yesterday I wasn’t in the band in high school.  But even in my ignorance, I understand that what Dinkle is saying here is so utterly elementary that he should be scowled off the stage.  “Oh, really?  I thought I was just supposed to wave my baton around like an addled person.  No wonder my Strauss sounds like Stockhausen!”

What’s next?  “Those dots on the score, by the way, actually tell you what musical notes should be playing–and in what order they’re to be played!”

If there were a fourth panel, some variation on the above could be used to construct an actual “joke” if it came from an audience member.  “Wow, I’m learning so much!  Can you tell us which end of the trombone our students should blow in?  We can never figure this out!”

That, however, would require that Dinkle be treated with disrespect, and we can’t have that.

Here’s my Tuesday Crankshaft.  Enjoy!


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

15 responses to “Smearing The Mess

  1. Epicus Doomus

    He’d be so much better off if he outsourced his “writing”. “Hey! You know that godawful crappy comic strip everyone hates? It’s f*cking FUNNY today!!!”

    The Great Legendary Band Director spends all his time lurking around his old place of employment, an obscure little high school in Bumf*ck, Ohio. Why isn’t he traveling across the country, dispensing band director wisdom? Why hasn’t he moved on to help direct a real band? Or is it just plain easier to feature the guy a few times a year as he spouts worthless pointless analogies? I think we all know the answer there.

  2. billytheskink

    Dr. Harry L. Dinkle?

    What university lost its accreditation over that?

  3. spacemanspiff85

    Why would a music teachers’ conference have a guy who’s been retired for over a decade leading one of the sessions? That seems really stupid. Not as stupid as having a class on “fundamentals” for people who are already employed as music teachers, though.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    billytheskink: Dr. Dinkle…I mean come on. I don’t remember anything about this but I have to assume it was some sort of honorary thing bestowed upon him after he went deaf, in which case he should definitely give it back now.

    “Hey Mr. University President! Remember that f*cked-up band director who immolated that baton twirler and forced the band to perform during a hurricane? I just heard he went deaf and has to retire. He’s being replaced by a very bland one-armed woman.”

    “Why, I can’t think of a finer candidate to receive our university’s highest honor! Call him immediately…no, wait. Write him immediately!”

  5. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    The sign (I’m surprised as you are – it’s not taped sloppily to the door) should read:

    Basic Primary Fundamentals for Beginners Who Have Never Heard of Conducting Until Right Now

  6. Batiuk should really not feed people straight lines like this. He’s been smearing the mess around since St Dead Lisa passed on ten years ago.

  7. How can there possibly still exist any demand for this comic strip? It doesn’t just strain credulity; it murders credulity and leaves credulity’s broken and decomposed corpse to be analyzed by Temperance “Bones” Brennan.

  8. Chyron HR

    It’s this season’s hottest new anime, “Hibike! You Fuckface”

  9. Gerard Plourde

    I can only think that he used some kind of random dialogue generator to come up with today’s script.

  10. Rusty

    a few years ago Dinkle took his wife to these conferences, now I guess he and Becky share a room. How effective is conducting with one arm?

  11. Jim in Wisc.

    @Paul Jones: Funny you should bring up St. Dead Lisa. According to gleeb (the CK commenter who posts the daily “Today in Funky Winkerbean history” comment), it was 18 years ago today that SDL discovered her Holy and Exalted Tumor.

  12. Meanwhile, “Mary Worth” seems to be setting up a crossover strip in which age-incompatible lovers (or at least lust-ers) Zak and Iris visit the Valentine Theatre to see “Casablanca.” Their evening is made complete when they steal the prime seats from a deranged bum who was taking shelter in the theater–oh, wait, that’s regular customer Crazy (shrug; there’s a difference?)


    Well at least Dinkle admits that his music is a mess. He is the only Funky Winkerbean character that is self-aware.

  14. Professor Fate

    Well I think “Smearing the Mess Around” would be a perfect title for the Act III collected strips.

  15. Charles

    I understand that what Dinkle is saying here is so utterly elementary that he should be scowled off the stage.

    A writer’s characters can only be as knowledgeable as the writer himself.