License to Ill

Dealing with Batiuk’s Bureau of Motor Vehicles is not merely frustrating time-consuming…it’s a never-ending, Kafkaesque ordeal from which there is no escape! The death stare that Funky lays on BMV Guy in panel 2 is not bad, but this zany week calls for a much more slapstick “take” in the style of, say, R. Crumb:



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

12 responses to “License to Ill

  1. spacemanspiff85

    This is why you call ahead, Funky. Or check the website. Of course, if people starting using common sense in this strip, Batiuk would have even less to write about than he does now.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    Boy, this week really plodded along, eh? I can’t even remember anything that happened before Funky’s recent spate of humiliating boring adventures began. It’s almost as if the strip was always like this, you know? And in a way, I suppose it was.

  3. Of course, Batiuk probably has never read Kafka, unless CLASSICS ILLUSTRATED or somebody else did an adaptation of one of this books.

    Now I’m afraid this garbage is going to last another week. Dang it, Batiuk! KILL SOMEBODY, PLEASE!!!

  4. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo, it makes no difference that Funkwanker has his expired license with him. It makes no difference that Beardo McMotorvehicles can call up Flunky’s record on that eeeeeevil computer gizmo. How many days did it take to establish that he has a “funny” name that he had to spell, IF IT WEREN’T FOR THAT EXPIRED LICENSE HE WAS HOLDING??

    Does Ohio normally require you to bring a birth certificate to renew an un-expired license? If not, why is one required now?? Is this a requirement only for people with weird names? “I see your old license there, and it has your name and picture on it, and I see it matches what we have in the database, but I’m gonna need you to go ahead and bring in your birth certificate because your name is just so damn FUNNY!”

    None of this makes any sense! Is BatHack lashing out at the bureaucracy of the Motor Vehicles department? I guess he had a bad experience there when he stood in a line a mile long, and the clerk didn’t laugh at his jokes and smartass comments.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    If he sat down last January to star belting out the 2017 strips and these were the first ideas he committed to paper and felt-tip, one has to wonder what things will be like later as the year staggers along and the premises become thinner. Like I always say, I firmly believe that eventually FW will devolve into a state of total entropy and consist entirely of random panels featuring random characters doing nothing but smirking for no reason. They won’t speak, they won’t interact, they’ll just be there.

  6. This is why he has to stop everything. He can’t have good guys and bad guys if the bad guy is making the most sense and is more sympathetic. It does no good to act like an arrogant, abusive twerp to some working stiff doing his job but obviously, we can’t tell Batiuk that.

  7. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    I missed yesterday’s snarkfest, but I’d like to do a timejump and comment today.

    “Don’t I look born to you?”

    “Frankly, you look more like an abortion.”


    And now back to Saturday:

    “Actually, I would advise against that. Your license has expired, and I’ve already called 911.”

    I was in an Ohio BMV today. I was number 6 in line and the woman who waited on me was efficient and even pleasant. I was there less than 10 minutes.

  8. Saturnino


  9. Come to think of it, Flakey Foont would make a much better name for this strip…

  10. Meanwhile, TomBat’s son makes an uncredited cameo appearance in yesterday’s “Rex Morgan, MD” strip:

  11. Jimmy

    Can you imagine a tip of the old felt pen to Crumb?

  12. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Next week: Mr. and Mrs.Funkwanker wrestle with the warning on mattress tags. A fat, bored, goateed agent from the Ohio Mattress Bureau shows up unexpectedly and gives them a hard time. After a week of smirking and wordplay, the Mattress Police leaves, accidentally backing into Snowball the Car. Flunky’s damage claim is denied. Because Ohio government.