Weally Wonky

Like Willie Wonka? Get it– oh never mind..

My predictions for today’s strip came true, though my grandmother saw it coming from a mile away and she’s been dead for three decades.

My tenure here snarking is almost up. Thank heavens! We’ve all seen Les go through airport security 30 times, do we really have to watch Dinkle fumble his way through too?!



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

18 responses to “Weally Wonky

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Dinkle retired almost twenty years ago, why would this candy company decide to honor him now? Is MoTab seriously suggesting that the old retired band director STILL orders enormous quantities of band candy to sell? And not just the usual selection of Kit Kats, Skittles and Snickers bars, mind you, but imported Belgian chocolate? No wonder the school district is always so cash-strapped, they allow Dinkle to run roughshod all over everyone.

  2. The look of almost panic on his face when it’s suggested that he leave the country says too damned much about the idiot. Personally, I’m hoping that if he does so, he’ll get in the same fix Colonel Tom would have.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    Is this going to be a riff on Bob Dylan and the Nobel?

  4. Max Power

    At least he didn’t take two weeks to open the envelope.

  5. Rusty

    Wouldn’t it be more likely he would be getting an award from Butterball? damn retcons.

  6. “Bandleader Harry Dinkle’s plane was shot down over the sea of Brussels. It spun in. There were no survivors.”

  7. So, is this the beginning of an interminable Dinkle travel arc, that will basically be the same as a Crankshaft travel arc, with Dinkle substituted for Crankshaft? Will we spend a week watching Dinkle get his passport, with all the hijinks of dealing with the Federal Bureaucracy?


    This comic is making me loose all my little grey cells.

  9. billytheskink

    I was going to say “so get a dang passport!” but with the Westview post office closed down, Dinkle’s lack of a passport might actually be a problem.

  10. Gerard Plourde

    So let’s recap: Dinkle has been retired for years. He was purchasing band candy before the internet age. He has never had a passport. How did he manage to find a Belgian supplier?

  11. Hitorque

    @Gerard Plourde: That’s no big issue — It’s not farfetched to imagine such a large company having a U.S. wholesale supplier/distributor which even in the early days Dinkle could reach by phone or post…

    The real questions are why is he being honored NOW decades after retirement; why is he being honored AT ALL given that there are certainly other accounts that moved many times more gross; and HOW did he afford that shit on a paltry public school budget?

    But forget it — The farther we get from Dinkle’s heyday, the more of a badass he is in retrospect… Next year I fully expect him to do one or more of the following: A. Get the Presidential Medal of Freedom; B. Get a lifetime achievement Grammy; C. Get the Légion d’honneur from France; D. Get knighted by HRH Queen Elizabeth II; E. Get whichever equivalent civilian award the Pope hands out; F. Win the Pulitzer for his book, assuming he ever finishes it.

  12. Jimmy

    1/4 inch from reality.

    @SOSFDAVIDO: Expect your honorary Son of Stuck Funky banquet in 2033 or so.

  13. Hitorque

    @billytheskink: No, we can’t have that! The LAST thing I want to see is another month of “Funkyverse character stymied by Byzantine bureaucracy and shitty customer service”

  14. spacemanspiff85

    So I guess Batiuk is getting new artists for each strip, replacing Chuck Ayers. I thought he just drew Crankshaft, but apparently he drew Funky Winkerbean too, for a while at least. I was optimistic, thinking that no longer drawing FW would free Batiuk up to actually write something decent, but apparently he hasn’t been drawing it for a while. Oh well, here’s hoping, I guess.

  15. The reason that Dinkle is getting the award is because the chocolate company couldn’t possible give an award to a woman. “When she starts bringing milk and cookies to comic-book readers, then we might consider it. But, probably not.”

  16. I’ve certainly never seen an Ayers credit appearing on the FW strip. As an editor and a lapsed publisher, that shit would never fly. Even if the artist – here, the penciller is, in my opinion, the actual artist, because without the penciller, unlike, say, the inker, the art literally never exists – is happy with the gig and the compensation, as far as I’m concerned, if another person is the only one appearing on the public credits, that person is a fraud taking credit for another person’s intellectual property. Kinda like the old days in the music biz where a white label owner or DJ forced a black bluesman to give him a songwriting credit – and of course, surrender half the royalties. Hey TB, I hope you are reading this, because my editorial spidey sense is tingling. I’d fire your ass in a heartbeat if you tried to pull thieving garbage like this while working for me. I’ll be looking more closely into it shortly. If nothing else, you’re an ethical fraud.

  17. spacemanspiff85

    @Fred Blurt:
    Even outside of the strip, on Comics Kingdom, Crankshaft says “Tom Batiuk and Chuck Ayers”, while FW just says “Tom Batiuk”.

  18. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Yes, because band candy is imported from Belgium. And there are awards given for buying more than anyone else in the world, ever.

    And if you’re wondering why they don’t just mail the damn award to him, it’s because Worstview doesn’t have a post office anymore. In fact, all mail for the town goes to the high school. Makes sense to ME!